[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

Good for you. Hang in there, you’ll make it and you’ll have nothing to confess to later. Trust me because I crossed that line once, but never again.

Just be there for her. You know what to do, just do it.

She is in my prayers.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Thank you friend!

I’m actually sitting in the hospital right now, waiting to pick her up.
Everything has gone according to plan, so it should be relatively smooth from here.

It’s gonna be so good to get home together and get back to our routine again.

[Tongue+groove]

There’s no hospital in the world that will take care of her like you will.

Enjoy the opportunity to serve her. Do a good job and maybe she will keep you locked longer.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Some days, like today, I have to remind myself that this is worth it.
I used to be able to relieve myself and jerk off if I wanted to.
If the pressure became too much and a distraction I could get it done in five minutes, setup, jacking off and clean up included.
It was convenient.
Easy.

It’s not like that anymore.
And I chose this myself. I was the one that came to Red with my desire to be caged, owned, and for my sexual desires and releases to be hers to control.
Sure I could get out of the cage if I wanted to, but that’s not the point.
I chose this. She quickly learned that she enjoyed the power and it became our thing.
So cheating and breaking our pact now feels wrong.
Pointless.

Reds recovering from surgery.
I’ve gone 25 days without an orgasm.
I know who has it worse, but right now it feels close.
Even.
I know how stupid that is, belive me.
I’m not bothering her by being needy right now. She’ll come to me when she’s ready and I’ll be there, happy to play any part she decides for me.
I’m just so fucking horny right now…

[KnownAsHerbert]

I used to be able to relieve myself and jerk off if I wanted to.
It was convenient.
Easy.

Some days it just gets to that stage when, if you could, you would, doesn't it? I know I've been there.

Now, when the thought pops into my head, it's followed by "oh yeah, I can't, can I?"

Guess we've all been there?

[Chosen_Jackal]

Exactly!

Its just one of those days where it hits me extra hard, so I figured it’s better to vent here than to bother Red.

[Chosen_Jackal]

It’s no coincidence that this is the first night in a while where my sleep has been disturbed by persistent night time erections.
My newest cage is so comfortable that they’re not a problem, at least 90% of the time, but last night was different.

I’ve made sure not to put any pressure on Red after her surgery in the intimacy department. Sure, we’ve had the occasional short conversation, but only after she’s said something to start us on the topic.
Yesterday she asked me if I needed to take a shower.
I take showers everyday, but when she asks like that it means "do you need to take a shower without your cage to properly clean yourself"?
I answered truthfully and said that would be nice. I did need a proper shower and a shave.

She dropped hints, at least twice, throughout the day that there was a chance something "fun" might happen during shower time, so I was giddy with anticipation throughout the day.
I also did my best to not get too excited as I knew there was a real chance of nothing happening considering how recently she’s had har surgery. She might simply be too tired and exhausted when the time came to do more than supervise me and make sure I don’t touch myself. Not more than what’s necessary for a good scrub and a shave at least.

I got semi hard the moment she unlocked me and I just about managed to get the base ring off.
I used to HATE showering while she just sat there with her enigmatic smile, studying me like some piece of meat. I felt so exposed and vulnerable, but something’s changed. I think it’s the fact that I’m no longer filled with doubt about whether she likes my body or not, so I’m able to take my walls down and enjoy the erotic energy of the moment. I’m half hard throughout the entire shower and I’m not gonna lie, that doesn’t hurt how I appear to her.

When I excited the shower and dried myself off she walked over to me and unceremoniously grabbed my cock and yanked once. Pretty hard actually, and she kept it tight and extended.
She then proceeded to slap my balls with her open palm in increasing force until I was keeling over, almost begging her to stop.
She grabbed my nipple, twisted it and brought me back up again.
And then continued to slap my balls.
It hurt.
And it was amazing. My body betrayed me. I grew hard in her hand and she started jerking me slowly.
I leaned my forehead heavily against her shoulder and surrendered.
At one point she even knelt down and took me in her mouth. I can’t remember the last time that happened and for a few seconds I forgot we were in the bathroom. I mention this because I always struggle to relax and get in the mood when we’re in the bathroom. We have teenagers and I’m always nervous that someone is going to knock on the door or pull on the door handle and take us out of the mood.
Not last night though.

It’s weird how my body reacts in moments like this. I’m a day shy of four weeks since my last orgasm and I have this constant ache to be allowed to cum surging through my body, 24/7, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to last night.
Stress. My mind starts interfering again in moments like this. It’s not that I expected to be allowed to cum, but those intrusive thoughts creeps in and tugs away at my ability to enjoy myself.
Luckily, Red was already ahead of me. Before I had the opportunity to really sabotage myself she told me we were done for the night and to lock back up.
I don’t think women, or men for that matter, who holds the position of key holder understands how gratifying it is to be told to lock your cock back in the cage. If I have to ask if she wants me to or not there’s a piece of the magic that gets lost.
But when she tells me clearly that I’m to put my cock back in the steel I feel seen and validated in a way that means so much to me.
And that made me even harder of course so I had to go back in the shower and spray ice cold water on my cock to make it shrink.

She’s three days out from surgery and she’s thinking about me this way. It’s hard to describe how much I love this woman and I told her so as we got into bed.
And when I thought she couldn’t possibly turn me more in she told me that she’s come to realize something.
She really enjoys being my key holder and domme. She’s finding her own way of doing things and even though she might not always be in the mood for sex herself she’s starting to realize the responsibility that comes with holding the key.
She enjoys edging me and keeping me primed and ready. She sees it as a task she performs in order to keep me oiled and ready for when she needs more from me. And she finds that even though it may start as a task she performs as a "duty" it quickly turns into something that turns her on.
We agreed that it’s really hot when she’s aroused and wants to use me for her pleasure, but it’s also extremely hot when she teases, experiments and torments me for her amusement as well.

I really think we’re on the right path.

[Tongue+groove]

. I don’t think women, or men for that matter, who holds the position of key holder understands how gratifying it is to be told to lock your cock back in the cage. If I have to ask if she wants me to or not there’s a piece of the magic that gets lost.
But when she tells me clearly that I’m to put my cock back in the steel I feel seen and validated in a way that means so much to me.

Yes, yes, yes!!! Perfectly put. In my mind we’re in a bit of a slump at the moment, this is what I need. But first I have to discuss what she needs.

Thank you for these words.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I think it applies to most in life. When we feel that the things we care about matter to those we hold closest we feel connected.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I don’t know why, but these last two nights I’ve woken up from night time erections again.
It’s easily solved by a trip to the bathroom to pee, but it’s like my penis tries to make itself heard or something.
Tomorrow marks exactly one month since my last orgasm, and Red hasn’t given me any indication about when I can expect another.

I find it extremely fascinating how my body seems to go through phases of various ways to deal with the denial. This past week has been mostly quiet and relatively easy to deal with, but the weeks before was hell.
I felt like I was physically buzzing with horniness and it was actually hard to concentrate on tasks at work at times.
Now it feels like I’ve entered a phase of resignation (except for the nighties) and that’s oddly comforting.

A byproduct of extended denial that both Red and I appreciate is how sensitive other parts of my body has become.
Red seems to derive great pleasure from playing with my nipples. She’s also become fond of toying with my balls and just light touches sends waves of pleasure through my body.
There’s definitely the physical aspect of this, but I suspect that it’s in large part mental as well.
As her dominance and my submission grows I find myself extremely grateful just to be touched by her.
The simple act that she deems me worthy of being touched does something to me.

It’s also quite interesting to listen to her speak about my eventual orgasms. She’s not the type of person that shares her thoughts on these matters a lot, so when she does I always listen carefully.
She told me the other night that she’s tempted to let me be free of the cage for a few days when she eventually decides to let me out so we can have a few days of "normal" sex again before the next period of extended denial.
I thought this was a great idea, but before I could respond she continued to say that the was even more tempted to build up my anticipation and then make the orgasm as underwhelming as possible.
What’s happened to my sweet girl?
I was horrified… and extremely turned on by the idea.
Now I am honestly undecided on what option I’m most excited for her to land on.