[newbie] Starting again

[newbie]

Spooning.......apparently that's what we've been doing this whole time. For whatever reason I always thought spooning meant something else. Now I know better.

So last night I put the standard tube and smallest ring on, both clear, and went to bed about a half hour after my wife. I use to look at tumblr or other sites after she went to bed, but found that I would go to be sexually charged afterwards and frustrated. It also wasn't fair to my wife, so I've been trying hard to not do that anymore.

At any rate, we both went to bed and fell asleep. I prefer not to wear underwear under my pajamas or shorts or whatever I'm wearing at night as I like the feeling of everything being loose and "free". I've also found that without the restriction of underwear, my nocturnal erections seem to be much harder and more "full" I suppose although I don't have any scientific proof of any of that. So there I was coming out of my deep sleep at 5 am with a nice full nocturnal. It was amazing how it felt, it didn't hurt at all and just felt restricted by the cage. Definitely not a bad feeling, and I definitely could have rolled over (well, maybe not roll over... ) and gone back to sleep. Instead I just layed there for a while, my wife was still asleep. I find that the base ring acts just like a cock ring in that it makes my erections last much longer.

At about this time my wife was starting to wake up a little too, and she eventually rolled over on her side, her back facing me....my favorite position. I desperately wanted to cuddle up behind her (spoon, I found out) but my erection had other ideas. I was sticking straight out with my hard device on the end, so cuddling in close was out of the question.....temporarily. In a few minutes things returned to normal, and so I went in and cuddled in very close, my hard device poking into her ass. She cuddled in close to me as we layed there. Every once in a while she and I would move around, and I found her pressing her ass into my crotch and against my HT. At first I thought it was a mistake or something, but then she did it a few times. She was awake, but in between sleep and full consiousness. We continued to cuddle, while the inside of my device started to harden some.

This went on for a few minutes until she decided we had better get up and get the day started. She got up, got her coffee and headed to the bathroom. I got up later and wandered around the house getting it ready for the day. I heard her come out of the shower so I headed to the bedroom to get my things. As I went in, she was coming out... . I was a little disappointed since I was now in the mood to let her see what I was wearing without any reservations. The cuddling in the bed got me in the mood. Anyway, she left and I put the key in the usual place, but then once in the shower I decided to leave my HT on and not remove it. I took my shower, all the while waiting (wanting) her to come wandering back in. It never happened. I finished and stepped out, taking my time to dry off. Still nothing. Eventually I had to get dressed and leave, and she was somewhere else in the house. Once in the bedroom I took my time getting dressed but she didn't show up until later. I left it on and got dressed for work.

I'm really happy with how this morning went being with her. It felt so good being so close to her both figuratively and literally. She really seemed to like pressing up against my device, and made me wonder if she is starting to come around and like the idea of me being locked. On one hand it might be more enjoyable for her to know that I'm locked and that when we cuddle and play with each other that she doesn't need to be concerned that I'm going to try to turn it into sex. Which is exactly what would happen in the past. Now she can just relax and enjoy it without having to reject my advances or "go along" with something she really doesn't want to do. She is now in control of all that, and I'm wondering if she's beginning to realize that. It's definitely a nice thought.

[newbie]

Last night my wife was out so I went to bed as usual. She can in a while later and went right to sleep. Nothing happened overnight to speak of, and morning came with me in some discomfort with a pretty serious morning erection. I did manage to get some spooning in before we had to get up, and after things settled down on my part. It's now Wednesday morning, and I have been locked (except for cleaning over the weekend) since Friday.... I think...starting to lose track. At any rate, I put the device on Monday evening and have left it on ever since, trying to keep everything as clean as I can.

She got up and hit the shower, while I layed there for a bit and then crawled out of bed. When she left the bathroom I went in and showered again while still wearing my chastity device. She never came back in. I finished up and dried everything as best I could and went to the bedroom.

As you may have read from earlier entries, she is traveling this week. She leaves for business travel on Wednesday evening and then returns late Friday. She's not gone very long, but I felt it would be a good test for her to take the key. When I entered the bedroom she was already dressed, and had the suitcase on the bed. It wouldn't be long before she would be leaving for work so I knew that the timing would have to be now to give her the key. I grabbed the key and walked to her, and told her that "I'd like you to take this with you and put it in your luggage some where" or words to that affect. I reached out with key in hand and she looked at it for just a couple of seconds, and then was like "okayyy". And took it but with some hesitation. I turned around and went back to my dresser as I heard her putting it into some pocket of her suitcase. She then said "I hope you don't end up in the hospital or something" which could be taken as "if you get hurt doing something then you'll still have your device on when you get to the hospital because I have the key", or it might have been more of "I hope you don't have a problem with that thing and have to go to the hospital....". Either way it was sort of a light hearted comment, and wasn't to be taken seriously. I replied that "it's ok, I have a spare key right here".

So there it is, something I've been thinking about for a little while. She took my key with her, out of state, on a plane,.... I suppose this makes her a keyholder to some extent, albeit a reluctant keyholder most likely. I do think this was a step in the right direction at any rate, and got me thinking about the steps I came across in a previous article. I think my last step was the "Laissez-faire" one which was characterized by the "Okay, if you want to but don't ask me to be involved". She seems to become more comfortable with me wearing the device, and didn't shy away from feeling it like she did before. Not sure she was up to seeing me wearing it around or not, so we tended not to go there, although I'm sure she saw a glimpse of it a time or two in the bathroom. In the article I found the next step after that would be the "Cautiously curious" stage which includes a tentative willingness to learn more phase.

"Grudging acceptance" is the next phase characterized by "I'll take the key but don't expect much else". It's funny, but this was the exact impression I got from her this morning. She took the key, with some hesitation, but she did take the key and put it in her luggage. She obviously didn't have to do that, she could have told me no, or hell no, or that's weird, or anything like that.....But she didn't. And without reading too much into that I find it to be very exciting. Considering where we started from, this is a major milestone. I've been patient and haven't tried to push things, and she has kept a pretty open mind, and I love her for that. When she wrote me that email telling me she was totally turned off by the idea and didn't want anything to do with it or even know about it, this is quite a journey indeed.

Of course me being me, I had to take the next step and may have pushed things a little. Although she seemed ok afterward. I thought to myself what good is the now "spare" key just laying in my drawer. I could just unlock myself and her holding my key would mean nothing. I made the decision to put the spare key in an envelope, seal the envelope, and then have her sign her name across the seal area. It took me a while to get up the guts to ask, but I eventually did. There was a little bit of "this is too much" in her expression, and some shaking of the head and a heavy sigh, but she signed it. I tried to act all casual, but was litterally shaking. I then took the envelope and put it in my nightstand drawer. It's there in case of emergency. She was her normal self afterward, and was joking around and everything as usual before she left the house. Yes, I got a goodbye kiss and an "I love you" even. Life is good.

So today I am officially locked until Friday night. Granted, she didn't actually do the locking, but SHE TOOK MY KEY WITH HER!!!!, all with very little hesitation. I have a good feeling about this.

I am curious however, about how things will go when she gets home. It will be late enough where we'll probably be going to bed not long after. She leaves again Sunday night for another trip until next Friday. Hmmmm. Maybe another lock-in?

[newbie]

With my wife traveling I wasn't expecting much in the way of communication with her, but was pleasantly surprised that she had sent me a few text messages. Nothing important, just nice messages telling me about things that were going on in her world like what she bought to replace the things she forgot to pack, about getting a haircut, and other "trivial" things. The funny thing is that these light hearted texts really made me happy. I could tell from what she was sending me that she was happy and relaxed and thinking about me quite alot, and wanting to share small things with me. It's always a little tense when you do or say something to your wife before she leaves on a trip that could go either good or bad. I don't like to spring things on her at the last minute but I felt that's exactly what I did. I gave her the key and had her sign the envelope just minutes before she left the house. She seemed ok at the time, but then with more time to possibly think about what happened she could start to feel manipulated or put in a situation she wasn't comfortable with. Her words and actions after that, and especially hours later, put those fears behind me. She was happy and and was happy with me.

She had to hop on another flight so her next texts came much later. I was already in bed when the texts came in. We chatted for a while about things and then I wished her a good nite and told her I loved her. She texted back with "I love u 2" which was awesome, and a little different for her since she usually spells everything out. Almost seemed a little playful or something.

Anyway, got good sleep and woke up with morning wood....... of course. It was a nice full erection, but wasn't painful at all, or uncomfortable really. I've been wearing one of my chastity devices (I switch back and forth sometimes) every night for a long time now. It's been weeks or longer since I started wearing it ever night, so I feel that now everything has adjusted and stretched to the point where they don't hurt anymore. The only time I get some pain is if the bottom of my sack isn't lubed enough with lotion before bed and I get a dreaded "hot spot" where the base ring grabs onto one section of the skin and really stretches it. Other than that, really no issues. I'm more prone to getting this with the small small 36mm ring that I am currently wearing than the 40mm ring that sits in my drawer right now. For whatever reason today, I see to have a very high and tight sack all morning. Usually after a few hours things loosen up, but so far not today.

I golf this afternoon in my league, and this will be the first time ever golfing while wearing a device. Shouldn't be an issue, but will keep you posted. I'll have to be careful since taking a leak out on the course will be more difficult.

One last thing I wanted to mention. We have two children ages 10 and 14, and I am very careful to keep all this chastity business from them. I'm careful to put everything away (except for that one time) and to make sure they don't inadvertantly bump it somehow. All this being said, my wife was still ok with me being locked the whole time she's gone knowing that "something" could happen where they would find out about this. She trusts me to be careful, and must understand how important this is to me. The easy thing to do would have been to tell me that she's not comfortable with me wearing it the whole time she's gone. But she didn't. Her only comment was about me wearing it if something happend and I ended up at the hospital or something. More of a "how would you explain that" type of comment. There's still alot to think about, but I still feel that we are making progress.

[newbie]

Today is the day. I know it's only been since Wednesday morning that my lovely wife has been gone, but this is the longest stretch I've been locked up straight, and the ONLY time she has taken the key with her, so today is a pretty big deal to me.

I've been thinking about what will happen tonight when she gets home, which will be about 10pm by the way, or more specifically what won't happen. What I think I would prefer is that she gets home and we head for bed after a bit. I remain locked until at least morning, and we do our usual spooning and eventually I go down on her. That's what I would like to have happen.

What I think will probably happen is that she will unpack and hand me the key right off the bat. It will be sort of a "here's your thing" moment and she'll go back to what she was doing. We'll go to bed and she will fall asleep right away, tired from traveling.

Like the saying goes...hope for the best but prepare for the worse. Even the worse isn't so bad, tonight I can sleep with my wife.

I have to go on a cub scout camp out on Saturday morning, so I will definitely be taking my device off for that. I don't need that unknown added to all the chaos that is scouts.

When I return on Sunday she will be packing again to leave Sunday evening. This time until Friday, which will make this trip longer, three days to be exact, but I'll only be locked up one day longer since I self-locked myself in on Monday. I"m debating on giving her the key again. I think I will, but some of that will depend on how everything fared this time after beeing locked up since Monday.

Everything feels fine, no pain or discomfort, so I doubt there's an issue. For the most part I forget that I'm wearing it, but am new enough to this to worry about what things look like to people on the outside. I see the lock bulge as a big hump in my pants front, but I'm sure the reality is that nobody has noticed that, or probably ever will. The desire to keep making progress with chastity and my wife far outweighs the fear of being "found out" by someone at work or wherever. Right now my wife is a reluctant participant, and seems to have gotten use to seeing my device and feeling it at night, so keeping myself locked for a week with her holding the key seems to be the obvious choice.

I'm starting to shop around a little on the internet, and reading reviews on different steel cages. This seems like the next logical step but I don't want to go there until I see how the next couple of weeks pan out.

[newbie]

One thing I've wanted to mention in previous posts is that when I first started to experimant in MC I had already pictured my wife as a keyholder in my mind. I just thought that as things took their natural course (according to everything I read on the internet) that it wouldn't be too terribly long before she saw the benefits of me being locked and would happily take the key and conrol.

The reality of our situation is that everything takes time, and things change constantly. I was very excited about the "fantasy" of MC, as alot of guys are, and tended to try pushing things along faster that they would progress naturally. I'm not the most patient guy, so at times it seemed that everything was going too slowly. I wrote her letters telling her how I felt and what I wanted from her, and this immediately turned her off to the idea completely. I almost gave up, but instead I made the decision that I needed to take things much more slowly and at a pace that would be comfortable for her.

I think that without any pressure, any need for her to do anything, and to show her that this is important to me and it could really benefit both of us in our relationship, that she has started to adjust to the idea.

She now knows that I wear it almost all the time, that I'm not trying to hide anything from her, that she has really come to enjoy our time together in bed spooning and having her own orgasms without being "pressured" somehow to engage in traditional sex whenever I became horny from her attention. She has seen the device on several occasions, even me wearing it possibly. She has agreed to take my key for a few days knowing in the back of her mind that I am locked until she get home and decides to give me the key. She has started to see how this whole process has brought us closer together, even when we're apart.

All this because I decided to take my time and give her plenty of time and space. Trying to force something on her only made her push me away more and completely reject the whole idea.

I realize we're still a long way from having her fully embrace this, and it could all end tomorrow, but for right now I think the most important thing I can do is continue to give her time and space and just take things naturally. She needs to see how this benefits her specifically. I can't believe how far we've come in just a few months.

[newbie]

Like I mentioned earlier, I was sure what to expect when she got home. In essence it wasn't too bad, and looking back on it now I would say it went well.

She got home from her trip around 9:30 Friday night and spent some quality time with the kids. By the time the two of us headed for bed it was late and we were both pretty beat. I had to get up fairly early and go on a Cub Scout camping trip, but she got up with me. I had decided that I wou take the device off before I went on the trip, just to be extra careful, so I had to get the key from her that morning. My son was up by now and she was busy with him, so while I was in the bedroom I happened to see the key in a mesh pocket I her noe empty suitcase, so I help myself. I know I should have asked her for it, but she was busy and still seemed a little tired, so I didn't. I got showered and cleaned everything good and left the house. On Sunday morning we returned home and she was already packing for her next trip. This time she would be gone Sunday thru Friday so it would be a few days longer. Anyway, we all had things to do so we were all busy. At some point in the afternoon I realized that she was almost completely packed, so I knew I needed to put on the device I would wear for the week and give her the key. I chose the HT Short (black) and the matching 40mm ring. The last combo from last week wasn't quit right. I quickly put it on and took the rest of the parts to my room. She was there doing some finishing touches so after putting the bag of parts into the drawer (in full view of her) I turned around and handed her the key saying "can you take the key again?", which she looked confused for just a second and then replied "don't I already have it?". She took it as I was explaining to her that I had to take it yesterday before the trip. At that point I knew I should have asked her for the key instead of just taking it. She took it and put it in some pocket of her carry on.
When she said "don't I already have it" I got that quick spark of "wow, how hot did that just sound?" And felt the twinge of horneyness.

Looking back on it now, I wonder if she just figured that I wa still locked and had been since early last week since she knows how this work for sure and that the other key is sealed in an envelope......that SHE signed. She must have figured that I wa going stay locked indefinitely. Maybe?

Having her say what she did instead of something like "didn't I already give that to you " or something along those lines leads me to believe that she was definitely aware of what was going on. I am really excited now for Friday, both to see her and knowing I don't need to take it off as soon as she gets home. She'll be the one that can decide when it comes off.......just as it should be.

[newbie]

I've been thinking some about the whole "Don't I already have it?" comment my wife gave me yesterday when I gave her the key back to take on her trip, but trying not to over think the whole thing.

We've been "experimenting" with chastity for quite a while now, and she is very familiar with the hardware involved. She sees the parts that make up the device on almost a daily basis when I would take them off to clean in the shower and put them in plain view of her. I have to believe she knows that they consist of the tube, the ring, and the key/lock. When she left last week I gave her a key to take with her, and her comment was "I hope you don't have to go to the hospital" which to me sounded like she believed I was giving her the only key I had, to which I replied that I had a second just for situations like that. So she packed her key away. I then put the second in the envelope and had her sign across the seal.

I reiterate all this because that would explain her confused look when I gave her "her" key back. She had assumed that she still had it in her luggage, and that I was still locked up because I hadn't asked for it back.

In essence she wsa perfectly happy to take it on another trip and leave me locked. She was completely aware that she still had the key, and that I was still locked. She knows that when we sleep together and spoon that what she is feeling pressed up against her ass is not my free penis but in fact is my locked device.

It seems that none of this bothers her, and she has in fact pressed her ass up against it on mor than one occasion.

I think what really gets me going is that she knows exactly where her key is at, and she knows the other one is sealed away in case of emergency, so she must also know that I am completely locked and will be until she gives me her key back to unlock.

She now holds the key to my device and is perfectly ok with that. She controls when I get out and is comfortable with that idea. I'm sure if she decides that she wants PIV sex then she will give me the key, but as long as I can satisfy her with oral then there isn't any reason it do so.

I have never been happier with the way things are going, and am starting to see her participation grow. I do love her so much.

I realize this journal tends to be a bit wordy, and not all that exciting from an outside perspective, but it certainly helps me put my thoughts to paper and keep an active journal of our journey.

[newbie]

As I get further into the week, I find that I am getting hornier than last week. It's funny though, it's like I forget that I'm wearing it about 60% of the time, and the rest is made up of knowing how lucky I am to be locked and how good it feels. I find myself being more relaxed and happy rather than frustrated and stressed like I seem to be before. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with being locked up or not, but I don't really feel that this is coincidental. I've talked to my wife a few times while she's been gone and she always seems really upbeat and happy. In the past I know that I would get cranky and then we would argue about stupid things, and then she would get mad at me, etc, etc, etc. There doesn't seem to be hardly any of that anymore.

I use to get upset that we were't having sex enough, typical male stuff I'm sure, but the fact was that my wife has a low libido so if it happened once a month or less she was good with that. I think this in fact is one reason why chastity works in our relationship because for me when we wouldn't have sex for a while I would resort to masturbation to take care of my "needs" and invariably as soon as I masturbated she would want to have sex. We were always on different pages. Now she doesn't have to be concerned about me begging for sex or getting pissed when she would deflect my advances. She can be herself, and we can play around in bed without her being pressured to have PIV sex. I know I've metioned this a few times but it bears repeating.

I still can't believe that she is holding on to my key....right now. She left with it and god knows when I will get it back. That is so far removed from where we were just a few months away. When she comes back this time she won't have another trip planned for over two weeks so I'm curious how she's going to handle the key this time. As you know, last time I actually took the key and was free for the weekend without her knowledge. She thought she had the key the whole time. This time is different so we'll see how it plays out.

It's funny, I still can't quite get a good read on her and what she thinks bout this. I know originally she was turned off by the whole idea, and didn't want to know about or participate in it. Now she obviously knows that I wear it most of the time, and all the time when she's gone, which means to work, to the store, at home, around the kids, and she seems ok with that. But on the other hand she still seems to have an issue with seeing me wearing the device. She has seen it in the bathroom on a shelf and all that, and has even moved it to our room at one point, but now she doesn't come in the bathroom in the morning if she thinks I'm standing in there wearing it. I gather this because she has knocked on the bathroom door before and asked if she could come it, and when I responded yes she replied something along the lines of "do I want
to come in?" Of course I say yes, but I know what she means. She has an issue with seeing me wear it. That's fine, can't really blame her if she's is turned off by the sight of it, but if this is going to work and she seems to be willing to play along with it, then over time she is going to see it one way or another. It's not like I'm going out of my way to flaunt it, or to hide it, but there will be times that she'll get a glimpse of it (or more) and I'm hoping that over time this will let her get over these feelings. Once I can wear it, put it on, take it off, and all that around her then it will definitely become more of a reality that it's something we can both make work.

I give her so muck credit for being willing to go along with this, and to even participate on some level. I'm going to do everything I can to make this enjoyable for both of us and show her the benefits to her from chastity.

[newbie]

Well, today's the day my lovely wife comes home. I can't wait to see her and I kno she's anxious to get home.
She won't get in until late tonight so it will probably mean we'll be up for a little while and just go to bed, much like last time. The big difference this time is that I have no situation this weekend where I would have to be unlocked and she isn't going on another trip right away.

This makes me wonder how the whole key exchange will go. She'll unpack at some point, probably on Saturday, so the key will be given back at that point. However, if you remember last time she came home she had no intention of giving it to me and would have certainly taken it on this trip without even given it a second thought. I know this because I had to unlock for Saturday and when I gave her the key back she was surprised and said "don't I alre have it?". I know my wife pretty well obviously and I g the feeling that in her mind she was probably thinking something like 'if I'm not here why would he need to be unlocked, this is what he wanted'' And just assumed there would be no reason to give it to me, and she would be 100% right. So I'm hoping she keeps it for a while but even if she gives it back I can just put it back in the drawer like always and let her tell me when to unlock.

Thing are so much better now than they were in the past as far as the chastity goes, and in our overall relationship it seems. The contrast is amazing and we've come so far. Before she really wanted nothing to do with any of it, and was quite disgusted with the whole idea. Today she has a level of acceptance which has made it much easier on me to continue. She sees it on a daily basis, feels it against her ass at night, and recognizes that I'm wearing it when doing things around the house. She has even willing to take the key with her and apparently willing to keep it for a while.

Considering where we were just a few months ago, this is astonishing. I never would have guessed we would ever get this far, and essentially gave up on the whole thing twice. Patience pays off for sure.

[newbie]

I was pretty accurate with how her arrival would go last night. She came home late from the airport so we hung out for a while and then went to bed. We cuddled and drifted off to sleep. Our daughter had gone on a class trip and wasn't supposed to arrive until 5am, and my wife even informed me that she wanted to go pick her up, so at 4:30 she got up and headed out.

Once everyone was back home wy wife slipped back into bed for some more sleep. Nothing happened this time either except for some nice spooning. It felt so good to be so close again and my device settled in nicely against her ass. I'm sure she felt that old familiar feeling. I did wake up with a pretty nice trapped erection when we both began to wake. It felt good to feel that nice solid pressure again, with my erection bulging behind the base ring. There wasn't any pain since my scrotum has long since stretched to accommodate such things, just restrained pressure. After a few minutes the swelling went down and everything returned to normal. This brings up something that was a little bit of a concern for me previously, in that I did feel that I wa having erections like I use to. I hadn't felt any nocturnal ones in quite some time and wasn't sure if I was just sleeping through them or not. Well, last night with my wife by my side I woke up twice with major ones that lasted quite a while. I almost think that last one before getting up might have been a real one since I did have some precum leaking out afterwards.
So right now my wife headed over to her moms to help with a garage sale with our son so she might be gone for a while with that. She still hasn't unpacked anything yet, so she still holds the key. I guess I'm locked until further notice. It will be interesting to see what happens later today and tonight. I can't wait.