[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

I miss seeing Mrs. G set atop of me. Since knee surgery several years ago she hasn’t played frogger. Frogger is what she called it when she squatted on me and would work herself up and down like a frog. Oh the visions that still roam around in my head.

[denied_one]

Oh I’ve never laughed so hard. Mrs g didn’t understand the amusement.

Oh! Yay! That was my intent was to drop in a cute reference to that situation as a possibility that Ms.Red might have read and been tickled by.

Btw is there a hidden note behind the name red raven. Mrs G. Was always an auburn color. She colored more red as she grayed. I love a red headed girl. She is now a beautiful silver color. But down low she is is still an auburn beauty.

Oh wow @MrsLockNkey is also a lovely lady of red, Auburn locks! Something about our fiery redheads

[Chosen_Jackal]

What an end to an almost perfect weekend.
Red and I spent a lot of time doing yard work for most of Sunday and we got a lot done. We’re ahead of schedule in getting things ready for spring.
That means we were tired and eager to get to bed earlier than we usually do.

I don’t know if it’s me who’s plain stupid or if she’s that good at making me think a certain way, but I was pretty much convinced that there wasn’t going to be much of anything happening.
I thought we’d listen to one of her audiobooks while I gave her a massage before going to sleep.
I’m finally beginning to see the absolute best and most beautiful benefit of our new lifestyle.
Giving Red complete control over my sexual gratification and pleasure means she’s empowered to take control over, not only if we do anything together, but also how often.
It turns out that when there’s no pressure from me and she’s in control there’s nothing holding her back.
Seeing her take this power and use it so freely is awe inspiring.
We don’t have sex any less often than we used to before I put bars of steel around my cock. I actually think we have even more sex than we used to.
Sure, I don’t get to orgasm much, but the quality of the sex is better than it’s ever been, so I’d consider that a very small sacrifice compared to seeing Red have an almost sexual awakening.

So you can I finally understood that there might be more happening when she told me to put the prostate plug in my butt and the nipple clamps on as I started massaging her feet.
I may be a slow learner, but I’m not a complete idiot!
The she positioned herself to have her ass cheeks massaged was also a hint when I think back to the whole situation.

It’s funny how Sunday night’s escapades mirrored both fridays and Saturdays in how she’d tell me after we were done that the plan was for her to have the attention on me for once, but once we get going we’re both obviously much happier focusing on her.
My beard was soaking wet and smelling deliciously of her as I finished her off with the real cock again.
Not my original.
That’s locked away safely, but the big one that never fails to get the job done.

I assumed that was the end of it but Red actually had the energy to give a little something back for once.
She like a man after she’s had her orgasm and usually just wants to sleep, but maybe she felt guilty for teasing me for so long about giving me a little attention?
We removed the cage, but that left the tetherspout poking out of my cock, so we secured it with a padlock so it wouldn’t disappear up urethra.
It was fun to get a handjob from Red with a metal rod and a padlock poking out of me and she stopped several times to take pictures.
When I got close she stopped all motion and I had a glorious ruined orgasm.
Seeing cum shoot out of the tube in my dick was hot and we both agreed we had to take pictures of that as well.

We locked me back up and went to sleep, tired and happy.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I’m on day 25 without an orgasm. That’s four days more than our previous record. I don’t know if Red has a plan or if she’s just enjoying the denial. Either way, I’m caged and it’s starting to feel completely normal. Not easy, just normal. And yeah, writing that down makes my cock twitch in the cage. I like the feeling of it straining. I crave it now.

We talked last night. No play, no teasing. Just us, in bed, under the covers. And it ended up being one of the most meaningful moments we’ve had in a while.

I tell Red all the time that she’s beautiful. That I love her. But even that can become background noise when you say it every day. Last night I told her something deeper. I told her how much I respect her, who she is, what she does for our family, how steady and strong she is. I told her I don’t take her for granted.

She didn’t say much. She just squeezed my hand and pressed herself against me. That said enough.

It was one of those moments where everything just felt right. No games. No roles. Just me and her. And it reminded me why I do all this. Why I’m locked. Why I serve her. It’s because I trust her, and because I choose her. Every single day.

[Chosen_Jackal]

It’s been quiet for a few days.
Not much sex, kink or even teasing, but I’m okay with that.
It has to come from a place of natural desire and both Red and I have been quite busy.
Sometimes life just gets in the way of the fun stuff sometimes.
I’m here, ready for whenever Red has the energy and desire to play and I will always be ready for her.

I’m two days short of a month locked, a record for me so far, and while I know it’s not long compared to many others it’s still an achievement to us.
I have no idea when Red plans to let me cum again but I’m pretty certain it will be a while longer.
She’s keeping her cards close to her chest and I’m not peaking.
I think I’ve finally understood what surrender is and I feel so safe and comfortable in my confinement.

I’ve got the tetherspout to work as intended so I’m physically locked and can’t pull out even if I wanted to.
This has had a very calming effect on me since it’s truly in Reds hands now. The mentality of having my choice truly taken away from me has ramped up my submission to Red and I take great pride in being the best partner I can be with very little expectation for getting anything more than her approval in return.

I know it’s just a matter of time before she thinks of some kinky, mind twisting way to torment me again, but until then I’m content just being here for her.
Life is good!

[Tongue+groove]

As I ponder similar thoughts I think about how sexually active mrs. G and I always were. We felt it was a part of a healthy relationship. We have known so many couples who grew tired and distant of one another and we never wanted that to happen. I have heard several men say she just doesn’t put out anymore or she just nags me and their wives say he doesn’t love me like he used to and he never helps out around the house.

So here we are less old fashion sex for me. More for her. I love her more, she controls more. I want to do more for her. Every time I see her it’s like the first time I saw her. I’m constantly giddy about being around her.

How do we get to this point? Where did we go right and others go wrong? Is it all because we made the first move to improve our relationships? It has to be more than wearing a cage. I just can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s best if we don’t.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I’m really optimistic about our future in that regard. We communicate very well, and we choose each other every day.

I’m not saying chastity in itself is a magic pill to revitalize a dead sex life, but done right in a healthy one it’s certainly a vitamin boost!

[Chosen_Jackal]

Slow and patient wins the race. Is that a saying?
Doesn’t matter, but it applies to my life either way.
Red and I have been taking things a little slower than usual this week with less focus on sex, kinks or anything lifestyle related.
I’ve found that I deal with this much better than I used to. I’m more secured in my place beneath Red and find purpose in just being submissive to her.

At the start of our journey into this lifestyle I’d get restless and even feeling neglected if we went more than a couple of days without any form of play. I’m glad to say that I’ve dropped this immature habit and stopped topping from the bottom.
The whole purpose of this is to cede control to Red and let her take the lead, and sure enough, as soon as I stop expecting and trying to influence her she takes full control.
I’m feeling much more desired and valuable as a partner when it’s her who decides when and what happens anyway.

We went for a walk together last night for what felt like forever.
These walks where there’s just us two and the dog is when we really get to talk uninterrupted. We get to the real deep stuff and check in with each other.
Last night was a talk about where we see our relationship going, our fears and worries, hopes and dreams, and kinks and fantasies.
It’s good to confirm that we’re moving in the right direction and even though we’re not exactly where we want to end up quite yet, we’re moving towards our shared goal together.
We both agree that we’re moving towards more of a FLR than we first anticipated and we’re still working out exactly what this means for us.

We actually went to bed at a reasonable time and we spent some quality time together.
I gave her one of my special foot massages and we listened to one of her smutty audiobooks.
Red had told me earlier that she didn’t have the energy for anything more than this and I was just happy to have spent quality time with her.
I guess Red is bad at planning though, or maybe it’s just my animalistic charm?
We finished the night with another big O for her and, as it should be, none for me.

[Chosen_Jackal]

One month.
Thirty days.
It’s not long compared to many others, but yesterday marked the first time Red has kept me in chastity for a whole month without being allowed an orgasm.
It felt just like any other day, but also like it deserved some sort of recognition at the same time.
Today is day 31 and I’m happy to say that there’s no end in sight as far as I can tell.
Red told me that she likes me so much better when I’m like this, so why spoil everything now by letting me cum?

I didn’t want to write about it yesterday because I know Red reads my journal and I didn’t want to influence her in any way. When I spoke to her about this last night she laughed at me and asked me if I really thought I could influence her one way or the other?
My heart melted and my face flushed with embarrassment.
God I love that woman and how she’s expertly learned how to make me feel so small, yet seen at the same time.

But we did have a discussion about our little one month anniversary last night and I told her that I actually had some mixed feelings about it.
I have this stupid tendency to get in my own head and was suddenly having thoughts that she might decide to let me cum or at least have a ruined orgasm since it was exactly 40 days since last time.
I found that the idea stressed me and I actually dreaded it instead of feeling joy about it.

So we talked a bit, and like we always, we figured things out.
She told me she had actually thought of spoiling a little with some quality play time (no orgasms for me though) but she noticed that we were both quite exhausted from the week so she decided to postpone a day or two.
She continued to tell me that the night would be spent by me pleasuring her, so I could relax and stop worrying about whether I would get something or not.
I got to say a few things as well and told her that as long as whatever happens comes from her decision or desire to make it happen then my body and mind is fully on board.
I told her that I’d really hate to get an obligation or pity orgasm. I wouldn’t be able to feel good about myself if she gave me one because she felt I deserved it for going a certain time without, or for any other reason that wasn’t from her desire for me to cum.
I said; "I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I am okay with going as long as you want me to without orgasm. I personally only want to have an orgasm when you want me to have one. My orgasms will only feel good to me if I know they bring you pleasure. "

Red understood me completely and told me it could be a while before it happens then…
We ended the night with my face between her thighs.
Red needs her little sleeping pills after all.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Last night was intense in every way. Red and I have been so in tune lately that even when things feel complicated inside me, I still feel safe. She held me in that space again last night and pushed me. Hard.

It started with a supervised shower. She knows how self-conscious I get when she watches me like that. Naked, vulnerable, just… there. But for once, I actually enjoyed it. Maybe it’s because we’ve been so connected lately. Maybe it’s because I’m learning to trust her gaze. Or maybe it’s because a part of me has started to crave that feeling of being watched, even when I’m uncomfortable.

When I stepped out of the shower, she asked for a little drop.

Not a demand. Just a calm, quiet reminder that my body is hers. That even after the intimacy of being cleaned and watched, I’m still expected to give. And I did.
More than I thought possible. She milked me seven times.
Seven ruined orgasms.
I didn’t know my body could do that. I couldn’t stop leaking. It was overwhelming, humiliating, and deeply arousing. I felt wrung out. Like she’d taken every part of me and left me empty. Empty and proud.

After the seventh, I actually had to retreat into the shower again. I was trembling, overstimulated, and just done.
We laughed.
Cleaned up.
That moment of laughter felt like a release all its own. Like she was telling me, "you did well. You’re safe".

Later that night, I gave her a long back massage while her filthy audiobook played in the background. I love doing that for her, touching her, worshipping her body while she relaxes into her pleasure. But at one point, she asked if I was satisfied, and instead of just saying yes, I opened up.

I told her that I loved what she did to me in the bathroom, but that it also left me feeling a bit hollow. Not because of her,never because of her, but because I find it so hard to get into the right mindset in that setting. It’s bright, sterile, and full of distraction. I’m always listening for the sound of footsteps in the hallway. I tried to explain that it’s not the acts themselves, but it’s the headspace. The tension between being humiliated and being mentally present in it.

I also told her that part of me had built up expectation for the night.
Not entitlement.
Just hope.
She’d hinted at some elaborate plans for Friday, which didn’t happen because we were both exhausted, and I think I held onto a fantasy of what might happen when it was “rescheduled.” I know I’m not supposed to expect anything. But still, I hoped. And the reality, though powerful, didn’t match the vision in my head.

She looked visibly disappointed when I said all this, and that crushed me. I hadn’t meant to criticize. I was trying to offer context, to help her understand the friction between my desire and my mental block. She told me she didn’t realize how difficult the bathroom was for me. And then she said something I really appreciated: that she still plans to use it as a setting when it turns her on, but she’ll take what I said into consideration when she’s doing something that’s meant to be a gift for me.

That meant the world to me. She didn’t retreat. She didn’t punish me for being honest. She just listened, and adjusted, and stayed.

And then, somehow, the night got even more beautiful. I ended up between her legs again, where I love to be. Worshipping her with my tongue. Giving everything back to her. When she was close, she told me to fuck her. Not with my cock, of course. But with the big one. So I strapped it on and gave it to her, slowly, firmly. Everything she wanted. I gave her a sleeping pill and held her as she drifted off.

I spent the night straining against my cage. I didn’t sleep well, but I didn’t mind. I was exactly where I wanted to be: locked, aching, and pressed up against the woman I love more than anything. Her body, her voice, her choices.
They undo me. And I want to be undone.

She said we’re going for ten next time. I still don’t see how that’s possible. But if she wants it, I’ll try. I’ll give her every drop I have. Not because I want it.
Because she does.

That’s what this is all about.