[CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

[CanuckInNJ]

She tells me all day that we're going to have great sex tonight, and I'm getting understandably excited.

So bed time rolls around.

"I just don't feel like it tonight, baby," she says. "I'm really sorry."

I tell her I'm cool with it.

"So you do what you have to do so that you'll be ready for me tomorrow or the day after."

"Even the cage?"


"Just do what you have to do."

Now this is an interesting development . . . It's not a request, or even a suggestion, that I wear the cage, but the cage is definitely not off the table.

[CanuckInNJ]

When curious, she's taken to groping me to see if I'm wearing the cage. If I'm wearing it, she assumes I'm horny, and either unlocks me right away for sex or a day or two after.

I thought nothing of this until last night. We were lying in bed and had gone two weeks without any sexual activity at all. This made me grumpy, and I was not the lovey-dovey hubby she liked.

Suddenly it hit me like a baseball bat in a dark alley: our last four sexual encounters have happened soon after, or immediately after, I've worn the cage (to which only she has the key).

Whether she knows it or not, or cares to admit it, she's turned on by the cage, or at least wants (or moves) to have sex when she finds I'm wearing it.

I. am. being. trained.

Perhaps she is too, but the message, whether being sent consciously or unconsciously is as follows: no sex until you're wearing the cage.

So this morning I put it on (she has a key, and the other is in a 10-day timer safe). Let's see how long before she moves.

If she moves for sex right away, or inside the next day or two, then I can provisionally conclude that the cage is motivating her.

If that's the case, I'll put the cage back on immediately after the encounter and see how long before she acts again.

In any case, it's a win for her (she gets turned on, and gets sex as she wants it) and a win for me (I surrender control of my orgasms to her), and the cage now becomes central to our sex life.

I suspect it won't be long after that before she realizes that she doesn't have to unlock me at all, in which case, that's me in long term chastity with a loving keyholder.

Hm. Be careful what you wish for. Isn't that the message we keep seeing on this board?

[CanuckInNJ]

So that same night that I put the cage on we go out on a date, and it's great. We hang out, drink beer, chat with strangers.

When we get home she gropes me, as she more often does nowadays, but her reaction to finding the cage is a surprise to me.

"Hooray!" she cries. "You're wearing the cage! I've got my horny hubby back!"

She's curious to know when I put it on. Was it last night? Yesterday some time? This morning?

I'm not saying.

She feels it a bit more.

"Well, we're definitely not doing anything tonight, but maybe tomorrow. Let's see, shall we?"

And we drift off to sleep, me horny and happy.

[CanuckInNJ]

I'm in a strange space. She's happy to keep me locked, but she doesn't want to play, meaning that I'm locked, and that's it.

I want *something*. Touches, gropes, edges . . . ANYTHING. It's the nothing that kills me. One plodding day after another without anything sexual.

But I did ask for this, so I'd better get used to it.

[Kitten]

@CanuckInNJ
Have you considered putting your thoughts, hopes, wants, etc into a journal and leaving it for her to read? If you do, let her know it's ok to respond in the journal too.

KittensBoyToy and I started out that way, and we still use it on occasion.

Just a thought.

[CanuckInNJ]

@Kitten

Thank you for that response. Men are dreadful communicators, aren't they?

How did you do the journal thing?

My wonderful partner is very suspicious of the intertubes, declaring that any passion expressed on them will be public knowledge in another ten years. I'm inclined to agree (but here I am!).

Was your journal handwritten? If so, how did you store it and keep it safe?

Also: since you're here: did you have an initial moment of horror when KBT revealed his chastity secret to you? If so, how did you get over it?

Canuck

[CanuckInNJ]

We're changing clothes this morning, and she's hanging about in the bedroom waiting for me to take my pyjamas off. When I do, she whistles and exclaims "Poor caged hubby."

This is a step. She has never even wanted to look at the cage before, much less comment on its looks.

[jfenoffti]

... she whistles and exclaims "Poor caged hubby."

This is a step. She has never even wanted to look at the cage before, much less comment on its looks.

Hmmmm Great step in the right direction.

[CanuckInNJ]

She's started to get adventurous. This last encounter she pulled out both vibrators and announced that we were going to make the session last.

First, there was a little PIV. Then she pushed me out and got to work with a vibrator. Then I used my tongue on her. Then more PIV before the big moment.

Afterwards we're lying there, utterly spent. "Phew!" she groans, wiping away the tears. "You've managed to make me cry with pleasure."

"You're welcome!"

I broach the subject of getting a harness and dildo for even more prolongation. She says that she'll consider the matter.

This is a *huge* development. We'd tried a penis sleeve in the past, but she just couldn't bear it.

[CanuckInNJ]

It's been a busy week after that last encounter, and sex has been the last thing on her mind. It's been the first thing on mine, however and I've been frustrated and grumpy. No sex, no touches, no edges, no teases. Just nada. She's noticed my grumpiness too, even though I'm trying not to show it. But I'm willing to hang on, since we ended the last sexual encounter with plenty of hot talk about the next encounter. If I wait long enough, I'll get some satisfaction.

"Oh by the way," she says, as she's going out the door this morning. "I've got my period."

Curses.

I text her this morning asking permission to masturbate (I've told her that I'm going to ask her from now on).

I get a one-word reply.

"No."

I text again: "are you sure about that?"

Her reply is short and unambiguous: "If I'm going to suffer, so are you."

I *really* want to play with myself, so I lock up, and send her notification.

No reply.

I *think* that's good!