[MaybeDeniedHusband] Like I'm On Drugs

[MaybeDeniedHusband]

Was unlocked a bunch this weekend and monday because of activities and doctor appointments. But my wife/KH still made sure to check in on 'her' dick and tease me. Last night, she locked me up and told me I'm not getting out til Valentine's Day. She's been really taking on her role. We haven't had much time to play, but I know she's doing a ton of research on her own into what she can do when our schedules open a little bit. Been saying things that I'd never have expected from her--"how do you feel about spanking?" "I think I could get into pegging you".

Again, we haven't had much time to actually do any of these things we're talking about. But the fact that we're talking about them is such a big step for us. I've been waiting so long to explore this side of myself fully, which would be completely impossible without including my wife. So it's been such a mindtrip to have all of this out of my head and in the real world. It's so hard waiting just a few days to be able to explore, but I have to keep reminding myself I fantasized about some of this stuff for decades. So really, Two weeks, a few months, a couple years--I can be patient.

Frankly, right now, it's less about going her speed and more about waiting until we have the time for her to put the throttle down. I'm not sure Ill be able to keep up with her.

[MaybeDeniedHusband]

Had a very interesting two nights. Tuesday was day 4 since my last O, but also where I crossed 24 hours in the cage again. Which, I know—for lots of you that’s not much, but this early on, it’s still been unusual for me. We went out to a show at night, and when we came back, she was tired and fell right asleep. Nothing unexpected, but she fell asleep in a way that didn’t let me cuddle close. I tried some gentle movement with my hands, but she wouldn’t be budged.

And without that physical contact, I just couldn’t get settled. I was tossing and turning all night. I slept poorly and was grumpy in the morning. We talked about it later—yes, she’s in charge of my dick, but if I feel I need touch like that, it’s okay for me to be a little more forceful in turning her over while she sleeps so we can spoon.

Anyway, we made up for it, and last night, once we had some privacy, she had me, staying caged, worship her boobs a little bit then go down on her for awhile. She’s really been experimenting with her domme side--she found the r/gentlefemdom subreddit and really connected with that mindset. She doesn’t like being mean, so it gives her a way in to taking charge without feeling like she’s being untrue to herself. She’s always been a caretaker, so if I’m her pet, that works for her.

For me, too. She was pulling my hair, really taking charge. And after she came, she rubbed my back for awhile while I calmed down. And then she said ‘Good Boy’ and asked if I wanted to put my head in her lap while she rubbed my hair. It was just… everything. I think I know what subspace is now. I felt warm and safe and taken care of. My head was buzzing and I just could smell her and feel her and nothing else mattered.

It’s funny—in my fantasizing about chastity play, it was always just a kinky thought that would be part of me playing with myself until I came. But now that it’s more tangible, and I’m actually living it, I’m finding the experience is so much more three dimensional than I’d imagined.

[Tongue+groove]

. ‘Good Boy’ And. Felt warm safe and taken care of

All good stuff that draws you closer.

[MaybeDeniedHusband]

It’s been a pretty heady couple of weeks. We’ve discovered her kink—“I’m beautiful and important and you should acknowledge that”—and it pairs very well with chastity. She’s been consistently teasing me, she bought some toys and won’t tell me what they are.

I’d never much fantasized about the strict, stereotypical leather domme either. Chastity was always sort of a fun kink, but I’d never really thought much about the submissive mindset that went with it. Exploring that has been so mind-opening for me. I feel like I’m finally understanding so many things about how I feel and how my brain works. It’s amazing.

Valentine’s Day, she had me uncage before a shower, but wouldn’t let me touch my dick. She washed me, and gave me a good long BJ when we got out. We fucked, and I came pretty quickly, which we both expected. But I was ready to go again in like 60 seconds. She was impressed with that, and definitely found it to be a turn on. I came a second time and she left me uncovered overnight.

The day after, we had one of *those* conversations. We talked about sex in a way we absolutely never have. She’d had me take a BDSM quiz earlier in the week and we talked through everything—what we liked, what we wanted, what turned each of us on, what wed be willing to try. It was really awesome for us both to be able to connect like that. But the best part was right at the beginning of the conversation when, unprompted, she looked me dead in the eye and happily told me how much fun she’s been having and how much she’s excited about continuing to play. One of my biggest fears is her just humoring me and being bored, and she is absolutely not doing that. She likes it. She’s been feeling very sexy in her skin.

After we talked, she had me go down on her awhile and she fucked me again and let me cum. I was, honestly, a little disappointed that she let me cum again so soon, especially right after the conversation we’d had, but I’m letting her set the pace. She’s in charge, it’s her decision. That mindset has really made everything click for me. If she wants me to be dominant in bed, it’s at her command. I learned the term ‘service top’ and found that it made a lot of sense to me. I came, and she locked me right back up.

Also, I really should learn not to underestimate her. Monday night, she was horny again. We made out with her rocking her clit against the cage. She had me finger her awhile. And then she asked, if she was going to unlock me for a fuck but not let me cum, would I want a warning? She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that yet, but she wanted to know. “Yes? No? I’m not sure…?” I said. I really didn’t know.

“Consider this your warning, then.”

It’s weird how things sometimes don’t click in your brain, isn’t it?

She unlocked me, and directed exactly how she wanted me to fuck her for awhile. And then, when I told her I was about to cum, she told me, “Don’t. Stop.” Which was somehow a huge surprise to me. I groaned and snuggled with her for awhile. She had me finger her until she came again, and she came *hard*. And then she put my cage back on and I snuggled with her and I fell asleep. I couldn’t get close enough to her. All night. I woke up a couple times and just wanted to touch her.

This morning, she told me how much she liked it. She asked if I had painful blue balls. Which I didn’t—It’s a real thing but I think the risk is way overblown to women to get them to feel obligated to help guys finish. I told her how perfect it was.

And then she started asking about ruined orgasms and told me to expect one. And told me “I think we should try using a butt plug on you.”

I think I’ve seen chastity referred to as a gateway kink, and goddamn are we speeding through that gate.

[Tongue+groove]

Innercourse without cumming is possibly the best.

[MaybeDeniedHusband]

Had one of those weirder moments last night/this morning with chastity.

After being riled up all day, she had me go down on her for awhile, then sat on my face and played with my cage. Super fucking sexy, especially when she unlocked me. Then she wanted to fuck, and she really took charge in a very sexy way. For awhile, I thought she was again going to not let me cum, but then she let me finish and...

Man, now I know what the drop is. It hadn't even been that long since I'd cum before--5 days, I think? But after monday, the pressure had just been building and to have it suddenly just... gone... like that was a real head scratcher. I immediately felt odd, but didn't put it together until this morning. We talked a little bit about how me cumming on a wednesday night when the next day is a normal thursday might not be the best thing for me mentally. How I'd felt so good yesterday and how today I just felt kinda muddled.

And how basically, I wanted to go a lot longer between full orgasms. At least as an experiment, for now.

It's such a weird thing to ask for. She reminded me that she's still figuring things out, too. But she understands how hormones can make you feel weird. So we're going to work toward that. She said she's deciding now between making me wait til next thursday, or alternatively, letting me cum tomorrow and then "a long break."

Every now and then I step outside of myself and wonder what the hell I'm thinking asking to not cum for a couple weeks. I guess every kink is weird in its own way. But we're having lots of fun and feel great with the play we've been doing. The most fun part of all this is figuring it out together. I finally, after years of hidden fantasizing and jerking off, feel like I'm fully integrating my sexuality into how I live my daily life.

[Mr Pickle]

Your doing really well.
It takes time to get used to being full of these hormones. Your brain just isnt used to it yet, and the best way is to take it slow. Build it up a bit at a time.
At some point you wont be able to sleep at all and might have to push through that being wired. After that happens it all seems to get easier. By easier I mean better able to cope. and then you just cruise along full of happy horny hormones.
Then its a case if finding how long before the benefits trail off for Yay Come time! without that drop.
Thanks for sharing. Brings back a lot of memories.

[Tongue+groove]

The most fun part of all this is figuring it out together.

Isn’t it just amazing how this works. I will also say that Mr. Pickle is spot on in his advice. And finally Mrs. G has agreed to only ruins for me. She has now named it plumbing maintenance. No drop, horny, frustrated and energetic.

Just part of the fun in figuring it out together.

[MaybeDeniedHusband]

Your doing really well.
It takes time to get used to being full of these hormones. Your brain just isnt used to it yet, and the best way is to take it slow. Build it up a bit at a time.

Right now, the biggest hurdle has been the roller coaster with the hormones. That feeling of being wired shows up after a couple days and as soon as I start to get used to it, she's let me cum and it disappears. And then I have to ride through the buildup again. I'm ready to feel that 'so intense I can't sleep' feeling that people talk about, but I haven't been allowed to sit with it yet.

Between work and other obligations, the next few months are sort of set up well for us to explore and test and experiment with stuff. And then maybe in the fall go for a big, long lockup. I haven't sent her the Happy Marriage website (I think it's both too humiliation/FLR focused for what she likes and also aimed at someone who needs more convincing than she does), but the idea of a 90 day break in period I think would be good for both of us.

But again, there's time for that later. We're still early on, figuring out what works for us. I'm really enjoying the process.

[Tongue+groove]

Sorry if I overimpose here just tell me to stay out and I will.

I went back and reviewed your initial post just to refresh on your startup. Dude you have come a long way, in a short amount of time.

As you’ve said before, the two of you are learning together, that’s awesome. And young kids in the house? Wow!

We’ve been married for nearly 40 years, kids are raised, we have a great relationship and it still took about 4 months to figure out how to move forward.

A year after starting and we’re still learning and exploring new ideas.

Your doing great as Mr. Pickle pointed out. Enjoy this ride, savor every little indescretionary moment and know you will never reach utopia. It will always be just out of your reach. But that’s what makes this trip so exciting.

Back when I was in your shoes I described it as being in the hotel California. I’m sure you understand.

Keep it up. Life is good.