Seeking help and advice
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Mr Pickle
- Posts: 1598
- Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:58 am
- Last orgasm: November 11th, 1947
- Orgasms this year: 947
- Gender:
Re: Seeking help and advice
Again? We know already. Well done and all that but. How is this helpful in this particular thread?
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" 
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Keeping Him
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Wed Dec 11, 2024 9:54 pm
- Location: Coastal Delmarva, USA
- Gender:
Re: Seeking help and advice
I.F. I am a new key holder introducing hubs to the idea.
I agree with others in that while her introduction was harsh and not my style, you might find your way to something really good if you can resolve the fumbled introduction. Your feelings of “excuse me, WTF” are reasonable. Ultimately, her proposal will only work if you are game to play.
Menopause is a mind trip. My libido said See Ya! for years. Went on HRT with testosterone and she came roaring back, hungry and bossy AF.
ALSO, we did a second round of marriage counseling with a sex specialist due to the poor sex life. Three years of my therapist banging on me about why I always centered his pleasure. Umm, because I was raised Catholic? And I’m a woman raised in the western patriarchy? And isn’t sex not over until and unless the man has his orgasm? (Narrator: umm… nope)
She even had us take sex off the table for a bit. A long bit because in the middle I got really sick (better now) and he stuck with it. And it paid off.
And trying to figure out how to center myself I was poking around Reddit. Came across Femdom and other stuff, then somehow saw a chastity cage. TINGLES! Then I ran across the idea of Devotional Sex. Appealed to both of us. But it wasn’t quite doing it for me- and hubs isn’t just naturally going to start worshipping me.
And don’t call me princess. 
Remembered the cage. Found Tom Allen’s blog (thank you!) and then this site. So fucking hot. But how do I make it happen? As Mr Pickle has previously advised, I need to CALM TF down and go slowly. Entice. Affirm. Seduce. And listen, most of all. (Then I’ll lock him up and make him long for it.
)
I’m writing all this to share my path to this idea — it may or may not be in some small way parallel to your wife’s but she skipped the part where she shared it with you. I’m getting better at admitting what turns me on, and better at talking about sex. And spoiler alert, talking about my secret desires, and teasing his out, is so SO hot. Maybe start there?
It’s not fair that you might have to be the one that makes this new phase start working. But if the choice is shut down, no sex, or she’s the boss, if you can wrap your mind around it there might be a chance for some hot sex in it for you.
I hope this helps in some small way.
I agree with others in that while her introduction was harsh and not my style, you might find your way to something really good if you can resolve the fumbled introduction. Your feelings of “excuse me, WTF” are reasonable. Ultimately, her proposal will only work if you are game to play.
Menopause is a mind trip. My libido said See Ya! for years. Went on HRT with testosterone and she came roaring back, hungry and bossy AF.
ALSO, we did a second round of marriage counseling with a sex specialist due to the poor sex life. Three years of my therapist banging on me about why I always centered his pleasure. Umm, because I was raised Catholic? And I’m a woman raised in the western patriarchy? And isn’t sex not over until and unless the man has his orgasm? (Narrator: umm… nope)
She even had us take sex off the table for a bit. A long bit because in the middle I got really sick (better now) and he stuck with it. And it paid off.
And trying to figure out how to center myself I was poking around Reddit. Came across Femdom and other stuff, then somehow saw a chastity cage. TINGLES! Then I ran across the idea of Devotional Sex. Appealed to both of us. But it wasn’t quite doing it for me- and hubs isn’t just naturally going to start worshipping me.
And don’t call me princess. Remembered the cage. Found Tom Allen’s blog (thank you!) and then this site. So fucking hot. But how do I make it happen? As Mr Pickle has previously advised, I need to CALM TF down and go slowly. Entice. Affirm. Seduce. And listen, most of all. (Then I’ll lock him up and make him long for it.
)I’m writing all this to share my path to this idea — it may or may not be in some small way parallel to your wife’s but she skipped the part where she shared it with you. I’m getting better at admitting what turns me on, and better at talking about sex. And spoiler alert, talking about my secret desires, and teasing his out, is so SO hot. Maybe start there?
It’s not fair that you might have to be the one that makes this new phase start working. But if the choice is shut down, no sex, or she’s the boss, if you can wrap your mind around it there might be a chance for some hot sex in it for you.
I hope this helps in some small way.
New KH introducing Hubs to the possibilities