Chastity and PTSD

[GayBear]

You see - the locked boy is still NOT in charge of his penis and the penis is not in charge of him - the keyholder/dominant is though. This leaves the boy able to focus on his mental health and other areas of life where he may be lacking.

I think I understand now. We are just not there yet. My husbear has strong dominant fantasies and wishes, but he also has needs alot of time to adjust. I was the dominant in our relationship, mostly because I am very extroverted and he is introverted and it just happened, and he is still very insecure about chastity. I also guess, it is a very difficult thing (but hopefully rewarding) to be in a relationship with someone with severe ptsd and all the different personality states that I can go through in a day. You see, people with PTSD react really harshly to being upset, and he still feels that he is upsetting me alot. Who can blame him? Normally, I am not in a good mood when I whimper and beg for something.
So, as long as that is the case, it is gonna be different. I do not mind if the adjustment period takes alot of time, we are already having fun and progress and he already starts to express his wishes more.

For now, I think I could say, I am in charge of the whole thing, so that he can relax and orient himself.

Just two days ago he told me, that he secretly always pushed away his sexuell fantasies in favor of mine, because his social anxiety gets triggered by sex. That was a huge step for him to admit to himself. For a long time I had made peace with the fact that he just did not appear to like sex very much, it is not unheard of, and now I feel stupid for not realizing this sooner. Yesterday and today he was much, much more relaxed and let me help him relax. It was very nice.

Another thing that I fought very hard against, but still managed to creep in, is that because of my illness my needs sometimes overshadowed his. I fear he has gotten a bit used to it. <- Wow, I am proud of this sentence. Now I know what I gonna talk to him about first thing. I have this "woah, breakthrough" feeling.

edit: some new thoughts, avoiding double post

[Locked by LRC]

It sounds like you're experiencing the hardest thing for us men to overcome, communication. Women seem to be so much better at this then men. I guess as boys we're told to "suck it up" and women are encouraged to "let it out". It was hard enough with a female and me, I can only imagine what it's like with two men.

As you are finding out, communication and talking about things can enrich your relationship. Why it took chastity for me to discover this I'll never know. Keep your talking about the changes in your relationship; that will help Husbear to understand what you want and hope from him. I'm sure he's reluctant, because your past, to push the wrong button. When he finds the right one be sure to tell him.