How do you guys deal with no orgasms?

[Lockedup84]

For the sleeping you just have to find something to think about to calm down. The first few weeks are the worst with the excitement of it and the ball stretching. Some people say your first lock up should be month or more so you get use to these problems and learn to deal with frustration. It helps me at night to use lube around base ring and sleep on belly with everything pointing down, this make erections less likely.

As many have said you learn to love the frustrated. I am on a week between O's and wish she would extend it cause the frustration is good and ready till mid week. Sometimes she gives a ruined O but I can hide them and get a little satisfaction. I almost got her to try milking me. Also we are ordering a strap on so that she can still enjoy sex while denying me, and that excites me cause I hope it will lead to longer lock ups

[practicinghetero]

We practice similar periods of denial. I've usually found that days 4-7 are tough, a little calm, then it picks up again around 2 weeks.

Ask for what you need in terms of aftercare. Giving someone a great orgasm is something worth thanking them for. I don't think falling asleep, leaving, etc..after cumming is a guy thing, I think it's a "this experience was a different tone/intensity for you than for me" thing. So I'd talk to her about your feelings around that.

See if there is a pattern about what makes it particularly fufilling to give her an orgasm. I've found that some feel better than others...and the best are often when I wasn't sure if I wanted to do so when we started. I've also found it helps to mix it up in terms of approaching the task very gently/submissivly, and more dominantly...fucking for my pleasure, just with my finger instead of my dick. That all of course, depends on his/her's mood...but it can help scratch a mental itch without ruining the fun of denial.

[finallyhappy]

Lol. After I cum, I am sleeping. Not even a question about it. GF understands this completely. Just looks at me and wishes she could.

[wishingandhoping]

I don't miss them at all! I actually enjoy being denied!

[Linus]

I don't miss them at all! I actually enjoy being denied!

I agree!! I suppose this is the 'true-and-total' submission to your KH.

[pandb]

Hi, p here. B has me on once a week o. This works well for me as I don't really lose the feeling of attentiveness towards her with that length of time (not long I appreciate). She offered me the chance of an o midweek this week and used some cards to give me some odds. The card I picked went in favour of an o..... Much as I loved the release I lost the attentive feeling towards her for a while. My point being..... Coping without release is only frustrating if you have in mind that the big o is the only goal..... For me and most others here the goal is to maintain the feeling of attentiveness, devotion and so many other emotions that being denied gives....

[Oldtimer]

See my post below. Is there anyway to delete a post?

[Oldtimer]

I have a tendency to go off topic because I post and work at the same time and I have problems with focusing due to ADHD. This has offended some people on another board but they do not have any feature to edit your post after 3 minutes or delete it so nothing I can do about it after the fact.

To answer your questions directly. My wife an I do the same as you do. We T&D all week and have sex all weekend but once in a while she will surprise me in the middle of the week if she is real happy with me or simply gets hot enough to want to have normal sex. When I am teased, and she is real good at it, and left with a raging hard on, I find that doing something to take my mind off of it works best. I will usually go to my computer, do some work, update my various websites and Facebook pages, etc. That works.

As to your second question, I have no answer yet. Yesterday she teased me for an hour, had an orgasm and then denied me. As soon as we got out of bed we watched the Victoria's Secret TV show while I massaged her feet which was in effect another hour of teasing. As soon as I was done I ran to my home office and got busy working. However, I woke up three times during the night despite a sleeping pill. Perhaps there is nothing people like us can do to prevent that. Even my wife knows that I sleep much better after an orgasm. It is evident after 41 years of marriage. Since we are not really into chastity as a goal but rather as a means to an end, we may add Wednesdays as a regular orgasm day also. I am dealing with chronic insomnia for most of my life so adding another thing that keeps me from sleeping is not a good thing.

If you solve the sleep problem, let me know. I am currently on the honor system which is not much of a problem since I work at home and my wife is always nearby except for Bingo night. I only get horny late a night anyway so it is not much to deal with and definitely easier to handle than quitting smoking was for me.

[Tom Allen]

See my post below. Is there anyway to delete a post?

The upper right corner of the Edit window has several button. The red one with the X is the Delete button.

[Oldtimer]

Apparently it is only there for a set period of time as it is not there for the post I want too delete.