To those that can escape

[celticqueens_sub]

I never understand these threads... If you want to escape, or try. Why wear a device?

For some of us, there is an added eroticism from knowing that you can't get out without being unlocked by the KH (short of damaging the device or lock). It's about power and control.

We aren't all the same, it's a sliding scale. Some people are willingly and completely submissive and, for them, merely being *told* what to do (or not do) is sufficient. At the other end of the scale are those people who may not be [completely, or completely willingly] submissive and whose desire is *forced* control, a lack of choice, inescapable bondage, consensual non-consent, etc.

I am one of those who fall to the far right of the scale- *forced* control, etc. Normally, I am most definitely *not* submissive- Even as a young child I revolted against 'authority' (or those who *presumed* to have authority over me) and I have a bit of a masochistic streak as well. As you can no doubt imagine, these characteristics tended to result in a certain amount of conflict at home and in school, I was a rebellious little bastard. After entering the military, and rapidly gaining rank, responsibility and power I experienced the other side of the coin, and became accustomed to giving orders and expecting to be obeyed without question.

However, when it comes to women and matters sexual, I find it extremely erotic to be in a position of having no control, of being forced to do things and behave in ways that I ordinarily would not. If I know that I can 'slip out' and not be caught, the eroticism is significantly diminished. Tom's 'willing suspension of disbelief' is not sufficient- I *need* to *know* that I cannot get out without her unlocking me, that's how this kink works for me. (Yes, I know that tools would get me out...but our rules provide a certain deterrent against that.)

Does this help you understand the mindset a little better?

No

[chaste]

I never understand these threads... If you want to escape, or try. Why wear a device?

If you're not going to try to get out, or you're wearing a device which you know you can escape from if you tried - why wear a device?

[curioustncpl]

Again, I was just curious if I could. I'm happy to know that I can't. Makes it all that much more real.

[locked4her55]

Have you ever been in a very horny mood and wanted so bad to find the hidden key? I have, and as I'm searching I've thought "what will I do if I find it"? My answer usually halts my search. I don't even look anymore.

[Tom Allen]

I wrote a longish post on this a couple of years ago, Consent and Sensibility, which essentially says that chastity devices are sex toys that are meant to enhance the verisimilitude of our internal movie scripts. If you have a need for a more heightened sense of reality, then you will probably seek a more secure device because it makes the script in your head more aligned with your reality. If, OTOH, you can easily adopt what they call "the willing suspension of disbelief," then tweaking the security likely isn't as important, and you can go with a stock device.

This explains why some people prefer denial with a device, while others enjoy going without; your scripts play out in different ways. For example, Mrs. Edge really does like using a device on me because it completely (or, as near as possible) removes any aspects of my control, and gives it over to her (and in my own script, I want her to have that control). On the other hand, other people have the script that their mistress (domme, owner, whatever) can "force" their will upon them, so that they feel trained, or that their keyholder is so forceful that they no longer "need" a device. It's not that one way or the other is better, it's that they appeal to different styles of play, and again, to different mental scripts.

Those of us that kink on a loss of physical control want more secure devices - at least, without getting overly complicated and inconvenient. I mean, I'd love a Latowski because they look so awesome, but I know that the reality would be mainly unworkable for me for a variety of reasons: price, fitting, not using a urinal, not being able to bicycle, etc. My wife isn't crazy about them, but she does ask me to make the CB3000 as secure as possible, which is why I've spent so much time over the years modifying them. What we have now works for us because it meshes with the scripts that both of us have running in our heads.

So, asking "Why don't you pull out?" or "If you can pull out, then why bother?" are really asking the wrong questions. You don't pull out because you want to keep that internal script in your head as close to reality as you can - and vice versa. The better question to ask is "What part of this kink works for you, and why?"

Edit: Typos

[hot_toddy_dog]

I think Tom is pretty spot on with the script analogy. For example, I know that I can pull out, but I don't do it because it simply isn't in my script. Even more to the point, I don't have a lock on my device. Any time I want out, I'm out. My script says I have to be wearing the device for any heavy sex play of any kind, so that's what I do.

So I understand that some folks out there will be desperately trying to figure out a way to pull out, get a good wank and then stuff themselves back in the tube.

For me, that doesn't work because that line has simply been deleted from my script. I prefer all my sex play in the device now as opposed to out, so in my script, that's what happens.

[chaste]

So, asking "Why don't you pull out?" or "If you can pull out, then why bother?" are really asking the wrong questions. You don't pull out because you want to keep that internal script in your head as close to reality as you can - and vice versa. The better question to ask is "What part of this kink works for you, and why?"

Bravo. Spot on. That was what I was trying to say by reversing the question and throwing it back. We each have our own reasons and variations of the kink that drives us. There are those that can stay in their cage knowing it doesn't actually keep them chaste, there are those that can stay chaste willingly without even wearing a device... but there are others, like me, where the security of the device is extremely important, so asking me why I would wear a device I'd try to get out of is like asking why you'd lock up a criminal if he's only going to get out in 6 months.

Bottom line: to each their own.

[Curiousnotgeorge]

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