"coasting" along

[Atone]

It took a little while for my wife to understand that what I really wanted was to be denied. Now that she better understands this it is easier for her to not let me cum.

I don't think my wife has any idea or thought that not coming could possibly have any negative effects (I don't think it does). She just doesn't think about it and because I am not concerned I don't bring it up either. She does worry a little about the cock being contained all the time. She likes to let it out for a "stretch" and good cleaning every now and then. She doesn't have any need for a "performance" check though.

[J Random reader]

Atone,
J Random, if you believe this should not have been split let me know and I will merge them back together.

No problem. This is a separate topic. The opposite side of my question. I do hope folks will still also reply to my thread, too. I asked my question, because we're new to all this. And we're trying longer "breaks". A few weeks instead of a few days. I notice a change at the 3 week mark. Waiting gets harder. Not easier. 3 weeks in, I start to wonder. Do I want to wait? But I do love how I feel. And I do look forward to the teasing. It's more rollercoaster than coasting for me so far, down at the low end of long term.

Dan, is there a rhythm to your breaks? Would she be willing to try it and see? Try adding one day in February?

[kpb57]

Why does she want you to cum?

I think it's a couple of things. First, even after more than a year of playing with chastity, she worries that going too long isn't "good for me". That 3 week stint took about a year to happen. Second, I think she enjoys making me cum. She enjoys seeing my reaction and feeling me cum, whether inside her or on her, and once in a great while, in her mouth. Like your wife, mine does not have orgasms from penetration...so that isn't an issue.

I'm thinking maybe I need to have a talk with her to let her know I really want to experience longer term denial if she can do it without feeling she would be denying herself. I do not want to deny her something that is important to her.

It's very much the same with us.

Although she relies on me to make sure that I take care of the "good for me" part (by telling her if somehow I don't feel well) and does not have that particular concern, she DOES like it when she makes me cum, period. And she can have orgasms from penetration. Like you, I do not want to "force" something on her that ultimately means that she denies herself.

K

[danj]

Dan, is there a rhythm to your breaks? Would she be willing to try it and see? Try adding one day in February?

If by "break" you mean, how long I'm kept chaste, yes. For the past several weeks she's wanted me to cum about once a week. This month has been almost like clock work that she let's me cum once on the weekend. She often hints she might have me cum again on the weekend, but it never seems to happen. I want her to be in control, so that's fine.

I think one of the other challenges is that our physical intimacy has had a lot of ups and downs. Some weeks, it's very good...I make her cum a few times, she teases me in and out of the cage, and all is well. Some weeks are hard...maybe only one orgasm for her, and not much intimacy. Those weeks are harder. If I'm giving her orgasms, I'm better than good. When she's not having orgasms, I struggle. I need to feel her cum...I need to hear her pleasure. Kinda weird...it'a not my orgasms I need, it's hers.

[Tom Allen]

From a mental state I don't find it to be any different once I went past about the 60 day mark. I don't really think in terms of when I last had an orgasm but rather from when I last had some stimulation time. Same goes for looking forward, I am looking forward to my next "play" date, tentatively next week, not to when I might be allowed an orgasm. I think I could go on like this for a long time, my point of reference stays fairly consistent. I do occasionally really crave an orgasm but that usually goes away pretty quickly.

This is pretty much how it is for us, too. Mrs. Edge has long gotten over the idea that I "need" to have an orgasm, and while she prefers PIV, we manage between short unlockings for me, and my wearing the strapon. I also have a sleeve made from the same material, so that gets some play, as well. We're pretty diverse.

But like Atone, at some point several weeks in, I'm in some kind of zone, and I'm okay without the orgasm as long as I get to have the physical intimacy.

[TwistedMister]

Some studies seem to indicate that men who ejaculate on a regular basis (at least once every one to three months) are at less risk for prostate problems- abnormal enlargement and/or cancer. I was reading up on this some time ago and. regrettably, did not save any links to this information, sorry. IIRC, 'ruined' orgasms and/or 'milking' satisfy the 'ejaculation' requirement for this.

In parallel with this, I have noticed that at about the two week mark I am awakened more frequently by nocturnal erections. As time goes on I seem to notice that the urge to urinate becomes more frequent, presumably due to prostate enlargement from a lack of expulsion. I have gone up to two months with no ejaculation of any sort. This last time (from the end of October to the end of December) I experienced something unusual in addition to increased frequency- a very peculiar feeling, not quite like the 'burning sensation experienced during a urinary tract infection, but close to it. However, this experience may be aberrant as I was ill at the time and taking various flu remedies, including decongestants and antihistamines. It is possible that this altered the experience. What I *do* know, however, is that after three 'ruined' orgasms in about a 60-second period seemed to relieve the symptom. More research and experimentation are obviously necessary.

I don't really experience 'coasting' (except when 'locked and forgot', when ill, or during times when we are both under a lot of stress and there is no desire for any type of sexual activity by either of us). Under 'normal' circumstances, as time goes on (past about the two week point) I get progressively more easily aroused and more desirous of physical stimulation. Sometimes this desire becomes so intense that I find myself squeezing/shaking the cage of the CB3k in a desperate attempt to feel *something*. Occasionally I resort to a Q-tip soaked in baby oil to stroke the underside, but this usually doesn't last very long as I rapidly become too enlarged in the cage.

Mrs. Twisted greatly enjoys PIV so I don't know if I'll ever go more than two months...unless she decides to bring in a pinch hitter. (Which, after the weekend after New Years seems to have become somewhat more of a possibility than it might have been previously.)

[Atone]

As time goes on I seem to notice that the urge to urinate becomes more frequent, presumably due to prostate enlargement from a lack of expulsion.

I have had the exact opposite thing happen, I have been meaning to post about it.

I have spent most of my adult life constantly thinking about where the next bathroom would be. I would typically have to pee about every two hours during the day. I never left home, the office, where ever I was without going to the bathroom first.

I tried everything I could think of. More sodium, less sodium, no caffeine, more water intake, less water intake and on and on. I went to my doctor, specialist, urologists. Have you ever had a camera inserted in to your bladder? I have. Prostate checked too many times to count. Sonograms. Other tests as well, cannot remember them all it has been a while. One real nasty x-ray with a metallic dye injected first. They never could find anything.

Since I started being in chastity it has been better. At first it was just a little better, maybe only had to go to the bathroom twice or three times during the work day. Then down to only twice. About 2 months ago there was an even more significant change. I didn't have to go to the bathroom all day. I went at about 8am and then not again until after I got home around 6pm. This happened a few times over the next several weeks. Today I went around 4pm and that was mostly because I heard traffic was bad due to an accident and I didn't want to get stuck in it. Most days over the last month were like today, one time in the middle of the afternoon.

I cannot think of anything that has changed. I am extremely consistent in what I eat and drink, especially during the week. I have almost the exact same thing for breakfast and have only one cup of coffee every day. For lunch I eat exactly the same thing, I pack a lunch and the only thing that changes is occasionally I have a banana instead of an apple, other than that exactly the same. Dinner varies but it is usually similar in quantity and general make up.

The only thing I can think of is that I haven't had an orgasm in over 6 months, ruined or otherwise. As far as I know I haven't had a nocturnal emission either but have no way to verify that.

[TwistedMister]

I'm a coffee drinker, I usually have two to five good sized cups between getting up and going to work. Then I usually have one close at hand while working, another 3 to six cups during the day. (And I've cut back some, that's less than it used to be.) I have noticed that how often I have to go depends on whether I've eaten anything, and what it was I ate...and to some extent, just how busy I am.

If I don't eat anything I'm going a lot. If I eat well, I don't need to go as much. And, of course, If I'm bored and not busy I have to go more. And, conversely, if I'm running around crazy trying to get stuff done, making sure everyone else has what they need to get *their* stuff done (and that they're not standing around bullshitting *instead* of getting their stuff done), then I don't even think about it for a while.

[J Random reader]

And, conversely, if I'm running around crazy trying to get stuff done, making sure everyone else has what they need to get *their* stuff done (and that they're not standing around bullshitting *instead* of getting their stuff done), then I don't even think about it for a while.

I don't think that's what Dan meant by coasting. But I bet the keyholders know exactly what that's like. But I don't think that's what you meant, either.