Male Chastity Fantasy vs Reality

[Tom Allen]

I N C E P T I O N

[fuzzydunlop]

My wife and I have been together for many years, and it has been the last few years that we have actually practiced orgasm denial more than just fantasize about it. It has been the silver lining to various circumstances sapping my wife's sex drive (we are hoping for a rebound soon). I've been trying to explain the balance to her like this----I'm totally fine with taking my sexuality off the front burner and letting it simmer on the back burner. I just want to make sure we avoid wrapping it up and sticking it the back of the refrigerator. Some times still, I can feel a little "locked and left" but then other times, just a little bit of playfulness on her part is a spark that gets my motor going. The reality is that she isn't making me do any of this, and if I take the laboring oar of chastity myself, there is usually a payoff with patience.

[Edgewood]

The feeling of being locked and left has been the biggest issue for me so far. I can put up with having to sit down on the toilet, the occasional pinch, the discomfort of morning wood, the cleanliness issues of the plastic CB, and the (slight) worry of being discovered wearing a chastity device, but the thought that my KH is just ignoring me or quite simply has forgot due to the stress of day to day life is the one thing that can get me thinking twice about chastity.

"You're not getting any today" is totally different than "Oh yeah, that's right..."

And since we now know that the brain is a huge part of sexual pleasure, the difference in the mental state makes all the difference.

There are so many dimensions to this chastity thing that all lead to one thing: patience. (Closely followed by communication.)

[fuzzydunlop]

The frequency of individuals on this board in longterm, committed relationships, but who are also very creative sexually, is of great appeal to me. How do does anyone negotiate these intensely personal issues and tastes for many years? It's not always easy, but it seems that a lot of people here are committed to it. Taking sex off the table for periods of time has definately led us to better understanding and communication.

[Tom Allen]

"You're not getting any today" is totally different than "Oh yeah, that's right..."

And since we now know that the brain is a huge part of sexual pleasure, the difference in the mental state makes all the difference.

Nothing to add, just acknowledging a good insight.

[fuzzydunlop]

I agree with Edgewood and Tom above (quoting doesn't work well on my mobile). Maybe it shouldn't matter, but human psychology beong what it is, it does matter.