Permanent denial

[velcrofist]

So, I've had the common fantasy of being permanently denied and expressed the idea to my wife who likes it so much she'd like to help me make it real. While the concept is amazingly hot and we're using the next 12 months or so to get me weaned, I can't help but feel it's also kind of drastic and I'm losing too much. I mean, no_more_ever_ever_ever_again? Not even one?

My concern is not whether I can do it or not or how realistic or unrealistic my expectations may be. Obviously if one or both of us isn't happy as time goes by we would talk about it and renegotiate. My concern is, how do I deal with the conflict of wanting to do this more than anything I've ever wanted before while at the same time worrying I'm doing myself out of something that's actually pretty good and I'm giving up too much?

[coffee]

I might be reading this wrong but why do you want to take such a huge step at once? Why not start with long term denial for a few times and if it feels like a disappointment every time you're allowed to orgasm have a look at permanent denial.

[WifeIsVanilla]

I agree with coffee. What is the longest you have gone so far? Maybe try something like doubling it. Then, if as coffee says, it feels like a disappointment, double that, until you find a length of time that is the sweet spot or decide to go permanent.

[velcrofist]

Thanks guys. Too true, and I have the next 12 months to do just that. It's just so breathtakingly hot thinking that's at the end of it, and I do have enough prior experience to know that I love the rush of denial far more than an orgasm, and I love the idea of getting them out of the way so I can focus all of my attention on her rather than being motivated by an eventual orgasm.

But, we're adults and we understand life & needs change. If either or both of us decide it's not working out we can always change tack. I just need to ensure I'm in the right head space to give this the right shot. ie there can be no regrets or it probably will fail.

[Oldtimer]

I knew some ex-priest and from what they said, all the priest they knew could not remain chaste for very long periods. It is an unnatural state and one of those things that may sound good as a fantasy but not in reality. I know that I had a lot of fantasies that never turned out as good in real life.

Just a word of caution, never base your decisions on what you read on the internet. Most is fantasy, although there are true practitioners to be found for sure. The problem is sorting them out. The truth with chastity, as with many fetishes, is that the majority who try it as a 24/4 lifestyle, do not continue it that way, at least those that I personally know. There are many reasons for this. The first is that none of us have any idea of how we are going to feel after a month of no orgasm. Then there is real life that gets in the way. Skin problems from wearing a device 24/7, inability to sleep in one, doctor's visits, etc.. The only people I ever met in my life who practiced a fetish 24/7 were not those that had 9-5 jobs or kids.

My suggestion is to start off slow. I know about problems with sex drives due to medications as I am in that situation and decided to make it a positive through T&D. My suggestion is to set a more modest goal for yourself rather than shoot for the moon without having even gone a month in chastity. You may find, that the majority of people end up using chastity in the short term. After all, the only reason any of us are here is that our genes are really good at wanting to make us ejaculate into women. If that were not true, we would not be here at all. My point, is that the desire to have orgasms is a very powerful one and you may find that to deny it forever may not be a realistic goal for most. Go slow, try it for a week or two at first and see how it goes. The people I personally know do not do it 24/7 or for very long periods of time. It can be lots of fun to just go a few weeks with lots of T&D inbetween. There are no trophies given out for anyone who goes the longest nor is there a rule book. Take it slow and see how you react.

[Finn]

2 words...Gloopy Semen. I went well over a year with only ruined orgasms, and sometimes a month to 3 months between those. I was hoping for once a month, now that I'm in chastity most of the time, but at some point, if the semen does not look right, I feel better (being in my mid 40's and all) having a good enough ejaculation, and enough of them, to get back to proper semen, both colour and consistency. If I knew I could just quit orgasms entirely, I probably would. We do Tantric based things in our sex/kink life, and I am able to focus on sharing the woman's orgasm, especially when denied for long periods. This does allow me to get some relief from giving. When aroused now, my urge is to give, rather than have an orgasm. The trick is that if my cum doesn't look healthy, the fantasy, no matter how doable, goes out the window in favour of health. I've had my first "full" orgasms in over a year lately, and to be honest, I don't enjoy them that much. I would much prefer to be edged, and simply have cum dribble from a denied cock, but if that cum is off colour, or jelly like, then I just have to give in and have that prostate pumped clean. I absolutely loved not having proper orgasms, and giving them instead, and will return to longer denial, but health comes first.

[Oldtimer]

I must be different because for me, ruined orgasms are enjoyable (just not as enjoyable as a regular one) and I consider them a break in my chastity period as they are not involuntary orgasms but deliberate. Just not full intensity ones. YMMV. From everything I know and read, there is no harm in not ejaculating. Excess sperm is absorbed into your body. Google it and read the medical websites instead of the sex one as the sex website all make it seem like you have to cum, when in reality you do not without any harm. Cumming does make for a more healthy prostate though.

[Finn]

I must be different because for me, ruined orgasms are enjoyable (just not as enjoyable as a regular one) and I consider them a break in my chastity period as they are not involuntary orgasms but deliberate. Just not full intensity ones. YMMV. From everything I know and read, there is no harm in not ejaculating. Excess sperm is absorbed into your body. Google it and read the medical websites instead of the sex one as the sex website all make it seem like you have to cum, when in reality you do not without any harm. Cumming does make for a more healthy prostate though.

I've read the various views on not ejaculating, but it's just a matter of not being comfortable with what comes out, being of a jelly like consistency. I also had some discomfort in the prostate region, during a ruined orgasm, mid-ejaculation. I had always squeezed the pc muscle, to stop the orgasm, and first few ejaculatory contractions, before relaxing and allowing the cum to pump out. Between the sharp feeling, and the consistency, we decided to go full orgasm for a few times during the month, just to clear it back up. Probably doesnt help that I take hot baths rather than showering. Poached nuts and all..lol.

[velcrofist]

Thanks guys. I must stress again though, my concern is not whether I should or could do it. (I'm not exactly a novice at this and it's easy enough to go back or do something else if it doesn't work out). What I want is to remove any negative feelings about it to give it the best chance of success.

[Atone]

The first is that none of us have any idea of how we are going to feel after a month of no orgasm. Then there is real life that gets in the way. Skin problems from wearing a device 24/7, inability to sleep in one, doctor's visits, etc.. The only people I ever met in my life who practiced a fetish 24/7 were not those that had 9-5 jobs or kids.

I do, it's great.

I wear a device 24/7, normally for months at a time. I don't have skin problems and except a couple of times early on don't have problems with pinching or whatnot that might require removal.

I have been to the doctor many times wearing the device but would be allowed out for a physical or something that required an examination below the belt.

I sleep about the same with it on as off. Certainly hasn't caused sleep deprivation or anything like that.

I have a job, rather physical, that is at least 9-5 if not more.

I have four kids, the youngest was about 5 when I started wearing 24/7, the oldest is now early 20's.

I don't know that I want permanent denial but I have gone over two years without an orgasm. We don't do many ruined orgasms either, last time was back in mid July. I would be surprised if there is another anytime soon.