And I have difficulties using the word submissive...I think my husband would agree with you on that although he wouldn't use the term matriarchy. For some reason he doesn't like that word--not sure why. So, instead, he sometimes calls himself submissive but he isn't, really, and he knows he isn't.
But if you become all stern and commanding, aren't you still conforming to what the other person wants? I think this is a classic "heads you lose, tails I win" situation. If you're solicitous in bed, if that's how you relate to the person besides you, then that's your prerogative now. As Lucy said to me the other day, "you've given me control, but it sure comes with a lot of instructions." I had no response to that.Belle wrote:Yet in relationships I conform to what I think the other person wants.
Dude, that's because she loves you. Take it and run with it.jnuts wrote:Exactly what Belle said. Her assertiveness is one of the things that attracted me to her. She is a very strong willed person, but when it comes to me, she turns to mush.
There are whole sites basically premised around fucking-the-patriarch in the ass. OWK and English Mansion comes to mind.Dev wrote:Still, it's a unique perspective.
Actually, I do think some of the blogs are real, but I sometimes wonder if they are ghost written by the male partner -- they hit all the right would-be-male-sub fantasies (my area of expertise) too well. The female counterpart to these males must exist -- a woman who is fulfilled by living out the "Female-Acting-Like-a-Man Led Relationship" as envisioned by a man. (The old "every shoe has a mate" theory combined with a heck of a lot of shoes out there.) I guess I was wondering if it was the mere existence of such women that offended your feminist sensibilities and made the blogs annoying. [I hope that didn't come out wrong.]So are you saying that the blogs are fantasy, written by men? That's what Ab tells me they are. But I wonder because of the amount of details as well as photos. They seem real to me.
The way I understand the cuckold dynamic is that the wife values her inferior husband because it makes sex with her lover more intense, both emotionally and physically. The dynamic actually values the cuck, as without him it would be run-of-the-mill screwing around.But then, why would one want to marry a man if he is so inferior? And purport to be in love with him? And take on a male lover who can provide a level of sexual service far beyond what the husband is able to provide?
This is a great big world and we're all sorts of people on this planet...no, their existence doesn't offend me. I am, however, puzzled by their worldview. Supposedly they have taken on a leadership role but what I see is that they have traded one patriarchy for another. That's progress? Not to me but then, I live the freaking life without thinking about it. I am coming to realize I have a very hard time putting myself in a different mindset.I guess I was wondering if it was the mere existence of such women that offended your feminist sensibilities and made the blogs annoying. [I hope that didn't come out wrong.]
Really interesting thread, and I'll have more to say when I'm not on the verge of falling asleep. What Shane said is important, but it is also true that you've both just started at this. Keep going and it will transform both of you. The only question is how much, and over what period of time.jnuts wrote:Exactly what Belle said. Her assertiveness is one of the things that attracted me to her. She is a very strong willed person, but when it comes to me, she turns to mush.
