Love/Hate relationship with masturbation

[wettie]

Well, I’m not sure what the point of this post will be other than to put something out there and see if anyone has similar experiences and/or solutions, although I’m not even sure solution is the right word.

I have a love hate relationship with masturbation. I guess the real problem is that my sex drive is just much higher than I would like it to be, and my time is very flexible, so I sit alone at a computer most days, and can work at my own pace, and as a result, masturbate whenever I want to, which is often.

I’ve done chastity before, and in fact just locked myself up again today and gave my wife the key because I am wasting so much time, and since she’s not that sexual, I just masturbate and then don’t try with her. I was taking birth control for several months in an effort to lower my sex drive, and it was actually very effective, but had some other side effects that prevent me from trying that again.

I’d love to do something like Depo shots, but it’s just not practical. The chastity thing is fun, and prevents masturbation for the most part, but I’d really love to just find a way to not want to masturbate so much, it’s worse now than when I was 16!

Anyway, that’s my story, at least for now. I’m thinking about trying a long term in chastity, since when I did it actually got easier after the first two weeks, but right now the thought of that seems impossible.

[Jake148669]

Wow I can totally relate I am into day 11 of a 14 day lock up. Self locked. Because ... I waste way too much time and energy on masturbation. Hours a day , usually ejaculating 3-6 times per day.
I have tried all kinds of self discipline measures to varying degrees of effectiveness. I am truly finding this to be an eye opening experience. It's been an adjustment. But I feel that I may want a very regular schedule of chastity and that my partner will be in board.
I still have the urge to look at porn etc. and have allowed myself my usual habits. Except the stroking Bt find that I get too frustrated and then look for a distraction.
THis is the longest I have gone with out an ejaculation since i was 12
I am quite proud of that.

[wishful4]

I can relate, as well. We seem to have a problem starting another chastity cycle once a current one ends. Once I am granted an orgasm, she usually leaves me unlocked for a few days. This last time, due to unforeseen circumstances, my unlocked period stretched on for several weeks. During that time, old habits returned, and I started to sneak a little self-help when the opportunity presented itself. It advanced to the point, rather quickly, where I was back to my old habit of masturbating a couple of times per week, not being attentive to her, and not helping around the house, etc. She got rather upset with me when she found out and said just forget her participation in MC. After a couple more weeks passed, I locked myself up and told her that the frequent orgasms I was having didn't compare with the ones she gave me after a chaste period and would she please reconsider trying MC again. She said to remain locked and she would think about it. I guess you would call this situation a love/hate relationship with masturbation. I love to do it and think about it a lot while unlocked, but hate what it does to our relationship.

[wettie]

Yah, we’ve had the same problems with cycling, good for a while, come out for sex, and the thing doesn’t go back on for days, or even weeks. I locked myself up yesterday and gave her the key, and it feels so good to not have access to my penis. It feels so good to desire her instead of just kinky porn. Now of course, I miss looking at kinky porn and jerking off a lot already, but we’ve set at least a week until I can get out, and even then it is her choice and I’m not to even ask.

And I wish it was only a couple of times a week for me, when I have free access to my penis I usually masturbate 3-5 times a day.

Has anyone actually tried any medication to lower their sex drive and did it work?

[fuzzydunlop]

I can relate to hating the wasted energy. When I was in school, I wanked all the time because I could. I was good at it and enjoyed it. The last several years, I have used it as a sleep aid and anxiety release but don't like how it interferes with my drive. Here are a couple of random thought:

Will power is overrated. Few of us can make lasting changes without changing out circumstances. I have sorted out my sleep issues and now have wanked a lot less. Do you really need the computer? Can you direct your energy elsewhere?

I would really hate losing my sex drive. It is a source of motivation and energy got me. But I am curious about your experiences with this.

3-5 times a day? That's a lot. Do you climax every time? Just curious.

[hot_toddy_dog]

I disliked the cycles so much I had to break them. My cycles are looong, drawn out and it seems to get worse as I get older. While I still do masturbate, I long ago gave up masturbating to orgasm. The only time I orgasm now is if I slip and tease myself too much while in the device, or if we are having penetrative sex (with the intention to have a child). Masturbation, teasing and sex are greatly enjoyed activities, but for me, I enjoy them much more if there is no orgasm involved. I used to have this same love / hate relationship with masturbation, but now there is much more self-control. The love / hate dynamic has now become focused on the orgasm instead. Frustratingly, while trying to make a baby, orgasm has become necessary again.

Today the fertility window is open, so unfortunately tonight (and the following 3 days apparently) are orgasm nights for me. Suggestions on how to "ruin" my orgasm while ejaculating are welcome. I've tried a few techniques so far, but none have been successful, I still get the same down feeling, just without the pleasure of the orgasm. If I'm going to have a down period, I'll take my orgasm with it, thank you very much.

[wettie]

Yah, when I'm not locked up I climax 3-5 times a day. Everyday I'm not locked up I do it first thing in the morning before I get out of bed. If I go to the gym, I do it again when I get home and shower. Then I do it at least once again while working at the computer during the day, and usually again at night before bed. Climax every time. Sometimes it's quick and over with in a few minutes, other times it takes a while as I hunt around for something "stimulating" onlne.

I'd love to find a way to get a depo shot and at least try it out for a few months, but I don't want to go to my doctor to get a prescription. I'm also not sure if it's the right idea either, right now I'm locked up again since Thursday, and I really do enjoy the intense desire, both sexual and what I would describe as passionate desire, for my wife and KH while I'm locked. If she were more strict about it I think I would be happy to be locked for the rest of my life with occasional releases of course. It’s amazing how quickly my attitude changes one the CB6000S goes on and the key gets locked away.

[danj]

I can relate, as well. We seem to have a problem starting another chastity cycle once a current one ends. Once I am granted an orgasm, she usually leaves me unlocked for a few days. This last time, due to unforeseen circumstances, my unlocked period stretched on for several weeks. During that time, old habits returned, and I started to sneak a little self-help when the opportunity presented itself. It advanced to the point, rather quickly, where I was back to my old habit of masturbating a couple of times per week, not being attentive to her, and not helping around the house, etc. She got rather upset with me when she found out and said just forget her participation in MC. After a couple more weeks passed, I locked myself up and told her that the frequent orgasms I was having didn't compare with the ones she gave me after a chaste period and would she please reconsider trying MC again. She said to remain locked and she would think about it. I guess you would call this situation a love/hate relationship with masturbation. I love to do it and think about it a lot while unlocked, but hate what it does to our relationship.

Yep...that's where we've been the past few weeks. I really do need to get back in...

[wettie]

So it's been almost two weeks locked up, and it's been pretty easy. I think I've hit the point where I want to stay locked more then I want to get out. I asked my wife to help with my weight loss, and not let me out until I was below 200lbs, which is about 10 pounds away.

This weekend we went out and had a nice dinner and lots of drinks, and when we got back home she asked me if I wanted to be released. I told her I would prefer not to get out until I was 200lbs, and despite her really wanting sex she agreed to let me fuck her with the strap-on. This was only the second time we've tried this, and it went really well this time, we both really enjoyed it. It's quite a sensation to be doing eveything related to sex and getting no pleasure out of it because you're locked in a CB6000s.

I figure if I got through that without exploding I should be good. Now I just need to work on the weight loss some more because now I think she's seriously not going to let me out until I lose the 10 pounds, and I think it may take a while.

So I'm off to the gym, working out isn't as fun as jerking off!

[wettie]

Ugh, today is one of those days where for some reason I am just extra horny, and there's nothing I can do about it. I've only been locked for about a week since my last release, but I'm home alone, and wish I could take it off and watch some porn. I even just tried to get off in my CB6000s, but for better or for worse can't anymore with the smaller ring on and mixing some numbing cream in with the silicone lube.

But this is why I'm want to e locked up, because otherwise I'd probably jerk off 3-5 times before my KH got home.

Anyway, just wanted to share my frustration. I need to get out of the house.