Chastity in all its guises

[Celtic Queen]

I didn't want to hijack Dev's thread but I thought there was a really interesting debate forming there that was worth kicking about just for the fun of it.

So, I would say that this forum is quite specific in both scope and audience as a sub set of a broader interest group namely people practicing chastity. I would say as a first punt that the main interest on here is the relatively "mainstream" use of chastity for its own sake as a sex game (Shoot me down on this if you like) I got to thinking OK, what's the broader spectrum of chastity?

1. Chastity as a fun sex game
2. Chastity as a tool of humiliation
3. Chastity as a mark of ownership
4. Chastity as a behaviour modification tool
5. Chastity within CBT practices
6. Chastity as negation of male sexuality

Within my relationship,we do operate an FLR with FemDom principles. Chastity started as a game as I ordered a cage because I thought it looked sexy. Hub then found that wearing the device improved his behaviour due to orgasm control. I also use it as a humiliation tool when I chain him to the ironing board with it. I don't particularly get any sexual kick from humilating him - but I do get out of the ironing win win all round.

He feels that the CB6000 that he wears -(til his MM device arrives) demonstrates ownership by me and the fact that he can't actually feel his penis enhances the feeling still further.I guess teasing him when he is wearing the device counts as a CBT practice!! The last use of chastity I add because I think that's where Forced Femm'ing, Cucks and Sissies sit- I can't see it ever having a place in my marriage.I am only a Domme to my hub and quite frankly you can argue the semantics of that anyway as I believe I "Domme" to make him happy (and get some help round the house ofcourse) and because it's an effective conflict resolution in a marriage between two alpha types.

Any thoughts on this, peoples?

[mikecb]

Hehe. I was thinking about this the other night. I was considering some kind of survey in the forums, but I don't think this kind of survey would fit. It would be something like this:

Check all that apply to your use of chastity:

Wearers:
( ) Occasional play to spice up the sex life.
( ) I wear with the expectation that my orgasms all belong to my partner.
( ) We do Dom/sub play, and incorporate chastity.
( ) I like cross-dressing, gender play.
( ) I like humiliation play.
( ) I am a masochist and like pain play.
( ) We do cuckholding.
( ) We do full Master/slave play.

I'm sure there are other categories, etc. I suspect the bulk of the people who joined this site at the beginning fall into the first few categories. I think the site has very recently attracted a few more people into Femdom and D/s play. I would be curious to see how the demographics grow and change over time.

mikecb
(x) masochist... Hell, ya! lol

[Dev]

I wrote my blog post today on the use of the word "game" with chastity and there has been an interesting discussion in the comments. For Ab and me, it did start as a game but it has quickly evolved to being much more---it is definitely a lifestyle. I consider us to be a chaste couple and I would use that term to explain our life to anyone who would ask (not that I am expecting to the question).

We've actually been playing around with some of the other things. Sort of based on your chaining to the ironing board idea, CQ, I bought a 10' length of plastic chain and a couple of locks. I chained Ab (with the lock hooked to the end of his device) to a kitchen (tall, bar style) stool the other night while he was cooking dinner. In order to do anything beyond the 10' area, he had to pick up the stool and carry it with him (ie, to go into the dining room and set the table). Did I mention he was naked during all of this?

It was fun and we got a few chuckles out of it, but in the end, he said he didn't get really turned on by it. He definitely didn't feel humiliated, he said.

If you saw my blog post from a week or so ago, the one where we had the realization that we were in a wife-led relationship or FLR or whatever you want to call it. Since then, we've been talking more about what that means and where chastity fits into our overall life. Interestingly, the WLR/FLR has been in place for our entire marriage and over the years he has taken on more responsibility for various activities. The last big one was cooking which I handed over in 2006. So now we discover chastity in 2010. Is that because I wanted more control? It is certainly not why I got interested in the first place but as we move down this path I find I am wondering where it will lead. I do like being in charge, that's for sure, and I always have. I like being in charge of his orgasms and I like being in charge of our sex life. Any you know the funny thing? Since I took over in the sex life dept., we've been having more sex than ever. LOL. Ab even said to me the other day that he thinks I have a higher sex drive than he does! That's not something I ever expected to hear!

I'll stop there for the moment. Thanks for this thread, CQ. I think this can be a great discussion.

D

[Atone]

I scored at least a 15, maybe 21. Not sure on the last one, probably in some contexts.

-A

[Celtic Queen]

We've actually been playing around with some of the other things. Sort of based on your chaining to the ironing board idea, CQ, I bought a 10' length of plastic chain and a couple of locks. I chained Ab (with the lock hooked to the end of his device) to a kitchen (tall, bar style) stool the other night while he was cooking dinner. In order to do anything beyond the 10' area, he had to pick up the stool and carry it with him (ie, to go into the dining room and set the table). Did I mention he was naked during all of this?

It was fun and we got a few chuckles out of it, but in the end, he said he didn't get really turned on by it. He definitely didn't feel humiliated, he said.


D

LOL,yeah but you got the meal cooked. Re the ironing, I think hub's kink on it is that he absolutely hates ironing but the fact that he is being FORCED to do it (and can't escape) is what turns him on.I confess that I dont "get" humiliation except as complex process of isolating ego (oooh, I feel another thread coming on). Question is - if humiliation is your hub's kink, then you need to get to the bottom of exactly what he finds humiliating as it is a very subjective thing. Cooking in the nude obviously doesn't phase him much :0) but perhaps if you had done more chuckling AT him, not with him, who knows?

Some guys are going to find the wearing of a device humiliating in its own right also.

[Dev]

I don't think humiliation is his kink which is why it didn't do much for him. He just took it in stride. He is a very easy going guy and he can find the humor in most anything, which is probably why we were chuckling more than anything as he toted his barstool around. LOL.

D

[bratboy]

This is an interesting topic, as I said in my introduction the chastity thing is really a thing my wife brought up and was interested in. So I at one point came out and ask what it was about chastity that interested her, her response was it got her hot to have me under her control and thought that I would find it humiliating (another thing that gets us both hot).
I really have an interest in our marriage becoming more flr so we have agreed to use the chastity as a tool to help us focus on making that transition.

[michaelnmelissa]

Melissa and I are new to this, but we both agree that it is more than a game. It is a change of how we do things sexually speaking. She is in the driver's seat and she likes it - and so do I. No humiliation and no one else but the two of us. Right now, we'd like to see this become how we are for always.

Michael

[Belle]

We are still very new to this as well, but what started out as a game is quickly becoming the normal lifestyle for us, and we are good with that. We are not into public displays or humiliation of any sort. Maybe some very mild bondage (him receiving) but that was true before we introduced MC.

Oh and Dev, I totally would have sat on the stool everytime Ab set it down. Not to humiliate him, that is just the stupid sense of humor I have.

[likes2blocked]

Some guys are going to find the wearing of a device humiliating in its own right also.

Interesting comment. I'm not much into the overall humiliation thing, but it certainly hits my sub buttons, and gives me a very strong sense of being owned, and seriously reinforces who is truly in charge here. Perhaps there is a bit of that going on...