Counting

[fuzzydunlop]

Long term denial has always been hot to me, and I love counting the days.

This has worked well when my partner has had a low drive. Not sure it turned her on, but I felt lucky that she would have fun with it.

Now, her drive is back, and short term denial and control seems to be her thing. And I am bouncing back faster. She's admitted to being a control freak when it comes to my release.

Hmmmmm. Another interesting turn.

[poor]

I never realised how fixated I was on counting until Chatelaine forbade it. It sounds ridiculous at first but I am not to refer to, or keep any record of, any kind of release that she gives me. It's another of her tiny mindfucks.

It's easy to have a rough idea the first week but as the device goes on and off and 'play' has various endings it soon gets lost and all I'm left with is a vague notion of the time that has passed and an acute awareness of how I'm feeling at any one time.

It has actually changed how I view orgasm. I now hope that they won't be too draining as it'll take me longer to get back to 'Chastity Nirvana' and, denied the 'achievement' of hitting a big number eventually, that's all I can look forward to.

Thanks for bringing this up - I'd wanted to but couldn't shape the post to launch it.

[cb6000s]

I'm so confused. The deal you made is KH desides. So KH desides you get lots. And your problem is what exactly? The majority of us are looking for more intimacy with our KHs.Your KH seems to be giving you lots. Most of us would like to be in your shoes.

[TwistedMister]

I'm so confused... And your problem is what exactly?...

I didn't get the sense that either of them was saying there was a 'problem'. Anticipation is often a major factor in eroticism.

I tend to count weeks rather than days. I actually started keeping a journal to record thoughts and feelings, a record of the journey. I've found that as I get older and have more experiences, things in the past have begun to blur. I'm not focused on counting, it just tends to happen. I find that writing things out also helps to clarify how I really feel about certain experiences I've had, and how I feel about things that may/might/could happen in the future.

(There is also a certain amount of eroticism in the risk that the Mrs. might find and read the journal, and decide to act on some of the thoughts expressed in regards to things that have *not* happened but which things that *have* happened have caused me to think about. Which did happen once. Fortunately(?), she only read a small portion of relatively tame material...I think.

[fuzzydunlop]

There is a lot more to the eroticism (at least to me) than just allowing a KH to decide. A lot of the time, I have been turned on by the "nirvana" that goes along with not orgasming for several days or weeks. Even I were outside a relationship, I would still enjoy that. A lot of other people have expressed that "control" is a big part of it even when there is not longterm control. This befuddled me until recently. How can you enjoy chastity if you are orgasming several times per week? With my wife's new found drive, I am understanding the control aspects better. The upside is that my feelings aren't as mixed when I do have an orgasm instead of worrying that it will take weeks to get back into the right mental state.

[kpb57]

There is a lot more to the eroticism (at least to me) than just allowing a KH to decide. A lot of the time, I have been turned on by the "nirvana" that goes along with not orgasming for several days or weeks. Even I were outside a relationship, I would still enjoy that. A lot of other people have expressed that "control" is a big part of it even when there is not longterm control. This befuddled me until recently. How can you enjoy chastity if you are orgasming several times per week? With my wife's new found drive, I am understanding the control aspects better. The upside is that my feelings aren't as mixed when I do have an orgasm instead of worrying that it will take weeks to get back into the right mental state.

I come from exactly the other way around. To me (us), the control factor was the decisive influence for the chastity game. In the beginning, I thought that staying chaste for weeks would simply drive me mad (she thought the same, and we were probably right back then). In the meantime, we have tried and found out that it is possible and, to a certain extent, desirable.
Like you, I do find that having several orgasms in rather quick succession increases the drive and helps one get into the chastity feeling quicker once a longer lockup starts.
She also has voiced concerns that we may fall into some kind of routine, so she will want to make changes and adjustments to keep this from happening. Like making me "take the lead" for a few days, where she will take the role of submissive to me. Or mixing longer and shorter chastity intervals.

K

[danj]

For me, control is huge. I like my wife to make the decisions about when to unlock the cage, when we play, and when I'm allowed to cum. Basically, I prefer sex to be focused on her desires first. I do count the days since I last came (currently at 10 days), and also tend to track the last time I was allowed inside her (also at 10 days).

I like the control, but I'm also finding I like it to be unpredictable. For a few weeks she became more steady on when I was let out and permitted to orgasm. Then, boom, she mixed it up! I like to feel powerless about my chastity. I was having trouble getting to nirvana this cycle, which is weird. I've always reached it by day 6 or so. I'm at day 10 and finally starting to feel it. Maybe due to work stress, and also maybe due to the fact that my wife has really been cutting back on my orgasms? Cumming less over time may be slowing down my libido until it is "reawakened"? Not really sure. I would say I was having maybe 6-8 orgasms a month for several months, then the past 6 weeks it's probably half that pace.

[Curiousnotgeorge]

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[fuzzydunlop]

I once did 50 or so days during pregnancy. I ended up feeling a little deflated when it ended. It seems like we have found different benefits and switched it up the last few years. I have gotten over the angst of feeling deflated as we have experimented.

[poor]

Another facet of this is that there are many counts one can keep:

Days since last orgasm
Days since KH orgasm
Number of KH orgasm since MIC last orgasm
Number of teases/edges since last orgasm
Days locked continuously
Number of KH orgasm since locked
Number of orgasms permitted YTD
Number of KH orgasm YTD
Ratio KH/MIC orgasm YTD
PIV YTD
Days since last masturbation.

These are just a few I pulled out of the ether. If you factor in that some players won't count ruined orgasms or milking as breaking a count and that PIV isn't always full sex and you can easily see how we've got so many varieties of the same thing it's hardly surprising when some confusion or disagreement arises over what is being quantified.