26 Days...Grrrrrr and Angst

[fuzzydunlop]

What was a goal of 14-15 days has been stretched out to 26 days due to some minor health issues and other stresses. Neither of us has been feeling good, so I am not feeling the perk I usually get. I have avoided going for the comfort wank, but it is tempting.

We are going to be spending time with the in-laws, so it may be feast due to childcare or famine due to the time involved.

I am concerned that after the long wait, the climax is going to be anticlimactic. It is also hard to know how many more days we will need to get our energy back.

Any one ever have this worry?

[Locked by LRC]

The concerns you state is one of the problems we found with setting a specific time for orgasm. Sometimes life will give you a "ruined orgasm". This is why LRC and I agreed that the date is the earliest I am eligible for orgasm. This defiantly helps mentally with the problem of an orgasm expected at a particular time and then it doesn't happen.

If you are fretting about your orgasm it may put unintended pressure on your KH. Keep in mind that when you ceded the key you gave up the right to an orgasm when you wanted or expected it. It will happen when the KH wants it and it is convenient for them.

LRC will tell me on a Friday morning that she thinks I need an orgasm and this looks like a good weekend. All I can think about is the orgasm and I can fell my cage getting tighter. Then sometime during the weekend, maybe multiple times, she will take the cage off and just edge me or allow an orgasm. This mind game really does intensify the orgasm me. There is this uncertainty for me "Is it going to happen or not". LRC enjoys it because she says it still makes her feel like she is in control and doesn't have to give me an orgasm. Being a KH is always being in charge of the orgasm.

The best I can say now is just accept it mentally and don't think the orgasm will be anticlimactic. When in chastity ANY orgasm is great. Some are just better than others.

[wettie]

Or you could barrel through and see how long you can go, I think it actually gets physically easier but mentally harder around a month. I don't know your history, but if you haven't done that length, it's a crazy head game knowing you haven't had any access to your penis for that prolonged a period, and also knowing that the release is probably not going to be worth the wait.

But then again, I'm a little crazy and have been really enjoying the great non-sex that me and my KH have been having since she locked me up more than I enjoyed the lousy sex we were having before.

[fuzzydunlop]

Thanks of the comments. To clarify, there was never a promise of any orgasm at any point. It was more a discussion of what seemed reasonable at the outset, but life gets in the way sometimes. We usually just take things a few days at a time. Really, we just do plow through things. What has been a drag is not so much fretting about an orgasm but a drop in sex drive and erotic tension due mostly to mediocre health and fatigue. I would totally be up for some orgasmless intercourse, which we have been experimenting with. I once went 50 days, and just didn't think we'd now be over halfway there again, albeit with more sex. I have had only one orgasm in almost 6 weeks. This is only the second time I have gone long enough to have an evening out of physical sex drive---so then I guess I do start to worry a little about having an orgasm at the wrong time (eg wanking for stress relief) which is mediocre and a bad habit. By the way, we *mostly* do the honor system with a little role playing D&S.

[Atone]

am concerned that after the long wait, the climax is going to be anticlimactic.

The only time I had a problem with an orgasm being anticlimactic was when my wife let me out for a little T&D and then decided she wanted me to come. I was expecting to go back in the tube for at least another month until we got to our "not before" date. We had agreed that even though we had a "not before" date she still had the final say, so I complied. At the moment I wanted to come so once she said to it only took about half a second, maybe less. It then only took about another half a second to realize that was really not what I wanted. I was not mentally prepared to go back to the beginning and start over.

-A

[fuzzydunlop]

Atone---that is kinda actually how my only other marathon that was longer went.

[kinkywife]

A month sounds interesting, I haven't locked my hubby up for that long yet but am working towards it. When you lock up for that long do you still allow brief unlocks for cleaning etc?

lockeduphubby.blogspot.com

[Tom Allen]

I was not mentally prepared to go back to the beginning and start over.

This is one of the reasons that we stopped trying to set a new record with each session. After several months, is going for a year any better, except to say "Oh, we went for a year"?

It's hard to stop playing the "can you top this?" game; after having gone for several long periods, we now just go for fun.

[Atone]

I was not mentally prepared to go back to the beginning and start over.

This is one of the reasons that we stopped trying to set a new record with each session. After several months, is going for a year any better, except to say "Oh, we went for a year"?

It's hard to stop playing the "can you top this?" game; after having gone for several long periods, we now just go for fun.

I agree and now this is generally what we are doing thanks in part to your sharing of previous experiences. It is nice to be in a place where I don't really even know how long it has been. Of course I still keep track so I can go back and look if I want.

-A

[fuzzydunlop]

We don't exactly keep trying to set a new record each time---although I can see why it fun to try to do so. It is all going to depend on what is fun for both people. Pushing things long can be fun to experiment under the right circumstnaces. I'am almost 40 (that's what my wife reminded me the other day), and I've been interested in chastity about half my life. It's been the last couple of years that my wife has been more into longterm denial, which seems like a common pattern for a lot of folks around here. We have both noticed a sweet spot when I get past 7 or 14 days. A year and a half ago I thought 14 days was some kind of invisible barrier.

This time around, life circumstances have conspired to push things longer. We had a little more time for some affection at bedtime last night, but neither of us are completely over a bout with some misc. virus. I try to not be annoying when I remind her that it's been 28 days as of today, and only one in the past 42 days. It's a little pathetic but I am mostly fishing for complements. I asked her how long she thought it was going to run and she gave me a simple "don't know" and "don't feel good". I had to apologize later and tell her that I wasn't fishing for an orgasm. She told me to go put on some panties, and that was the night.