[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Chosen_Jackal]

I’ve noticed a pattern in myself that I’m not proud of. Whenever there’s a quiet period with less sexual activity, not intimacy (I’ve gotten better at recognizing the difference), I start feeling like I’ve been forgotten. Like I’m not desirable anymore.

That feeling sometimes turns into resentment. And when it does, it leads me to lash out in ways that make Red feel bad.

The truth is, none of this comes from her. It’s all internal.
She’s just as loving, affectionate, and engaged as ever.

I’m working on myself. I’m learning to remind myself of how incredibly playful, kinky, and satisfying our life together is most of the time.
I know full well that there are plenty of men and women who would do anything to have even a fraction of the sex life Red and I share.

I’m also working on breaking the habit of tying my sense of worth to how recently I’ve been used, played with, or sexually engaged by her.

It’s slowly working. I’m not “cured,” and I still struggle with the emotions sometimes, but I’m getting better at regulating my behavior.

One thing that really helps is checking in with Red in small, meaningful ways as soon as I notice these feelings creeping in.
Not necessarily to dump the problem on her, but just to talk about us. To give her space to share how she feels about me.
That calms my nerves almost every time.

And when things feel heavier, I’ve learned to be direct and to tell her exactly what’s going on. And she reassures me, like she always has. Thankfully, it’s been a while since it’s come to that.

The feelings are here today.
They’re not fun, but I know they aren’t rooted in reality, just in my old insecurities.

So today, I’ll keep moving forward.
I’ll remind myself of what’s real… and refuse to listen to the lies my neurotic brain tries to sell me.

[Tongue+groove]

Yes,been there, feeling forgotten. That may be another reason why some of us masturbated so frequently. It’s times like these that I have come to believe that it’s men who are the more emotionally needy of the sexes.

Hang in there, it will turn around soon.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Thank you, but this was more of a reflection than meaning to say that things are hard right now.
I feel the feelings of insecurity and inadequacy , but I know them and don’t let them affect me nearly as much as I used to.

But you’re right, we’re just as, if not more needy than women a lot of the time.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Red surprised me last night. She went upstairs before me and when I entered our bedroom she was already ready and waiting for me.

When she told me to drop my underwear and lean over the bed with my legs spread, it wasn’t a request. I was blind sided. I didn’t expect this.
But I was also excited.
Nervous.
Eager.

She picked up the riding crop and began to strike me. My thighs. My ass. Even my balls. I thanked her for every hit. Not because I thought I was supposed to, but because it poured out of me naturally. Gratitude not for the pain itself, but for what the pain represented.
Her power. Her control. Her right.

She went easy on me at first. Especially on my balls, but she quickly realized I could take it.
So she hit me harder, and as each sting bit into my skin, something inside me unraveled. My body reacted uncontrollably.
I got hard.
Rock hard.
Trapped, helplessly, behind the cold unforgiving bars of my cage. And I realized that this isn’t just something I tolerate or enjoy. This is something I need.

The only disappointment was how quickly it ended. I would have stayed there forever if she wanted me to.

But that wasn’t the end.

Afterwards, I gave her a long back massage as we listened to an audiobook together. The contrast between the sting of the crop and the warmth of her skin beneath my hands was profound. From pain to service, from service to tenderness.

And just when I thought we were settling in to sleep, she pulled me down, cradled me between her thighs, my head resting against her breasts, and began to lovingly massage my chest, my neck, my face. Her hands were oily and soft, but her energy was powerful.
I’ve never felt so safe.
So owned.

We ended the night with her taking her pleasure. I held her close, whispered dirty fantasies in her ear as she worked herself with her vibrator. I could feel her pleasure rising through her body, felt her muscles tense, heard her breath quicken, and all the while, my cock strained uselessly against the cage, desperate, irrelevant, denied.

When she finished, my cock was ignored. As it should be.

There was no resentment. No bitterness. Only the deepest sense of purpose. The feeling of being exactly what I am meant to be: her submissive, her partner, her property.

And now, something is clear to me in a way it never has been before.
The more I offer my submission to her, not just sexually, but in every way, the more she rises. The more confident she becomes. The more powerful she feels. I was afraid for so long that if I let her see the depth of my desire to submit, she might think less of me.

How foolish I was.

She doesn’t think less of me. She thinks more. Because submission isn’t weakness. It’s a gift. A demonstration of trust, love, and devotion at a level most people will never even understand.

Red deserves to feel confident. She deserves to feel powerful. She deserves to know that she is the most important person in this house, in my life, and in my heart.

This is not just play. This is not just sex. This is the foundation of who we are becoming together. A relationship where her pleasure is central. Where her comfort, her happiness, and her dominance are what I cherish most of all.

I belong to her.

[Tongue+groove]

That was beautiful.

[Chosen_Jackal]

We were watching Rogue One last night, curled up together the way we always are these days. We’d just finished watching the second season of Andor so we decided it was a good idea to see the movie again.
Her feet in my lap, my hands automatically rubbing, scratching, and worshipping them like it’s second nature now. I stared at her while she laid back and I was hit with how insanely sexy she is. I told her, probably a little too bluntly, “You’re so fucking hot. You’re pure sex. I want you.”

She smiled and replied, “Maybe we should have sex tonight then.”

When we went to bed, I climbed in beside her and we started kissing. Without a word, she tossed me the key, her silent order to unlock. And of course, I did. I kissed her and whispered in her ear, “How far am I allowed to go tonight?”

Her answer?
“I want you to cum. A proper orgasm. I’ve given you so many disappointing orgasms lately, and you’ve been so good to me. You’ve earned it.”

Hearing that? God. That alone could’ve made me cum.

She told me to eat her out first. From behind. It’s not something we’ve done much, but we figured it out quickly. It was insanely hot. I could feel my cock swell, straining harder than it has in a long time, like it was somehow bigger.

Then we switched. I ate her out the “normal” way, the way we both know drives her wild. And then came the order:
“Fuck me. But slow. Deep. Not fast. Just the way I like it.”

It’s wild how much better it is when it’s the way she likes it. Slowing down put a lid on my eagerness, and I lasted so much longer. She was moaning, close, shaking beneath me. Then her command shifted. “Now. Hard.

Loud, desperate moans. Her body trembling under me. I came spectacularly. One of the most powerful orgasms I’ve had in years. Fifteen, twenty seconds of shaking, throbbing release. A real orgasm. A proper orgasm.

When I was done, I realized she hadn’t finished yet. No way was I letting that stand. I got to work with my fingers and brought her to orgasm not long after.

When we were both spent, she said maybe we should relax a little, listen to an audiobook, and go for another round later. “Feels like you need another release.”
I smiled and said, “I’ll do my best.”

But it was late. She scrolled Instagram reels while I drifted toward sleep. My body’s still on work schedule, while she’s fully in vacation mode. She told me to go to sleep and I slept like a baby.



This morning I woke up with solid morning wood and sent her a picture, captioned “It’s freeeeee!”
She was upstairs within a minute. “Don’t touch!” Half joking. Half serious. Fully her.

She teased me with her mouth, made me swell so hard it felt like I might burst. Then “Eat me.” Back to work. I brought her close with my tongue again, and then she ordered me inside her.

This time I had more control. We made sure she came first, loud as hell, shaking and moaning. Nothing, and I mean nothing, boosts my confidence more than hearing her fall apart like that.

She was surprised I hadn’t cum yet. “Why?”
“I wanted to make sure you were happy first.”

Her smile in that moment. God. Then came the next order: “Take me from behind.”

I did. And just like last night, my cock felt bigger. Heavier. More. When I bottomed out in her, she gasped, half pleasure, half pain, and I came quickly, overwhelmed. Perfect way to start the day.

I’m unlocked for the day. A small blemish on the skin of my cock means we’re letting it heal a bit before locking back up.
She told me she wants me to “take her” again later today. And obviously, I’m not saying no to that. But even when I “take” her, we both know the truth. It’s her decision. Her body. Her cock. Her rules.

[Tongue+groove]

. But even when I “take” her, we both know the truth. It’s her decision. Her body. Her cock. Her rules.

Yes it’s all hers but there’s something to the word “take”.

Especially when she uses it.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Red says she occasionally misses being “taken" by me. I get that. The feeling of your partner overcome with lust and just wanting you is something everyone can appreciate from time to time.