[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

If I may input here. Exhaustion seems to hit Mrs. G harder than me. In years past if she was too tired for intimacy I would get irritated with her. I myself have always taken every opportunity I get for intimacy of any nature. Maybe I’m a slow learner but I have figured out that when she has weeks like you have just experienced then she needs time to rest and recover.

Mrs. G is in the middle of a two week stretch of exhaustion too. Last night I went to an event with her . On the drive home she gently stroked my non driving forearm. She never said a word but her actions said, I miss you, thank you for being here right now, we’ll get reacquainted soon.

The brain is the number one sex organ and it seems that with women if their mind is cluttered they struggle with intimacy. At least that’s my understanding. When Red provides an opportunity for you today, tomorrow or whenever just know it’s not out of guilt, it’s out of love, reprioritizing and reconnecting after such a busy season in her life.

Keep in mind distance makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes you can be in the same room, yet be mentally or emotionally distant. That’s ok. It’s just a season. You two are growing through it.

In closing my dad would say, when you’re green you grow, when you’re ripe you rot. So don’t work so hard to ripen.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I appreciate your input as always.
You’re speaking from a place of patience and experience, and god knows I could do with some more patience sometimes.

But it’s not as bad as it might seem from my post. Like I wrote it’s good 90% of the time, and I tend to sit down and write when I’m in the 10% that’s not as good.
I find that getting the thoughts down in writing helps me get them out of my system and that’s a much better way for me to deal with things than taking it out on Red.
Today has actually been really good and she’s acted in a way that makes me think I’m due to get some fun soon.
I’m trying not to get expectations going, but it’s hard when I’m as horny as I am these days

[Chosen_Jackal]

It’s becoming clearer to me that in some ways, Red and I are the opposite of what people expect from straight couples.

The common stereotype is that women crave emotional openness while men struggle to express their feelings, raised to believe vulnerability makes them weak. That’s not us.

In our relationship, I’m the one who needs to check in often. I crave frequent connection, emotional transparency, and the reassurance that we’re aligned. Red, on the other hand, is more relaxed. She doesn’t feel the need to talk about things unless something is clearly wrong. It’s not avoidance on her part, it’s just her rhythm.

And I’m starting to see how I’ve put pressure on her to meet me where I am, instead of respecting where she is. I want to connect deeply, but in my eagerness, I often bring up the next thing before she’s had time to fully process the last. That’s not fair to her.

So when she messaged me today, clearly and firmly, telling me to back off and let her lead, I was strangely relieved. She said I need to stop trying to steer the ship from the sidelines, and trust her to do it her way. That I need to be more respectful, or there will be punishment. And that more rules are coming.

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Because it tells me she’s watching. That she sees me. That she’s stepping into her authority and holding me to a higher standard. And when she does that, I feel safe. I feel owned. I thanked her for the message and told her I’m looking forward to the rest of her rules.

I could write about all the amazing sex we’ve had this weekend. Her teasing, her control, my aching denial, but this shift felt even more important. Because what happened today wasn’t just hot. It was grounding.

[Tongue+groove]

. The common stereotype is that women crave emotional openness while men struggle to express their feelings, raised to believe vulnerability makes them weak. That’s not us.

A little something for you to ponder.

I think that this common stereotype you mention has developed over time from men because they are emotionally vulnerable. There are numerous examples I could give. Like dads who bail out on families or a girl that got pregnant. Or how about how widows will out live widowers just to name a few.

Here’s the big reason why I believe men are emotionally vulnerable. Not to go all religious on you, but if you follow the creationist perspective you will see that when God created man that God himself recognized that “it was not good for man to be alone” so He created woman for a companion. Here again not trying to shove my beliefs down your throat. Just giving you something to think about.

Yes women are probably more emotional or have greater emotional swings than men, but who is the more needy?

I guarantee you that I am, and I’m not afraid to own it either.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I am also much more needy than Red

But she rightly pointed out in a message to me that she’s not the one who’s locked 24/7 and has to witness her partner having two to three orgasms a day

Right now I’m trying my best to keep from pestering Red about the rest of the rules she said she had for me. She’s told me that she will do things at her speed and damn it’s hard to be patient sometimes. I’m just too eager.
I’m sure an orgasm would cool me down some…

[KnownAsHerbert]

and damn it’s hard to be patient sometimes. I’m just too eager.
I’m sure an orgasm would cool me down some…

I know that feeling well.

Sometimes Miss Emmi will notice me getting jumpy and needing that 'cooling down' that you mention and she'll say something like "I bet you'd love to relieve yourself right now if you could, wouldn't you?"

Unfortunately her comment doesn't actually help the situation.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Is that what they refer to as female intuition? :lol

[denied_one]

Yes women are probably more emotional or have greater emotional swings than men, but who is the more needy?

Clearly you are drawing a point that men are more "needy" than Women. I would have agreed before. However, I would disagree now and submit that both men and women are equally needy...just in differing ways

[Tongue+groove]

. .just in differing ways

Good point. But the fact still remains that men are needier than society permits.

[denied_one]

. .just in differing ways

Good point. But the fact still remains that men are needier than society permits.

Without a doubt!u

BUT ....which, male or female helped engineer those societal norms, majorally, Teach'?

(Apologies @Chosen_Jackal)