[tongue+groove] From vanilla to spumoni

[Chosen_Jackal]

It appears that Mrs G has two dogs

[Tongue+groove]

. It appears that Mrs G has two dogs

Nice analogy. It appears you are correct in so many ways. I might note that one sleeps in a kennel the other in a cage. The one in the kennel needs to go on a diet. The one in the cage appears to have been starved.

She’s been too busy to exercise either one.

[Tongue+groove]

I think my penis is withering away.

Last night when it was unlocked for my shower it didn’t want to emerge. As I washed mr. Wanky he just looked so pathetic and there was no excitement from him when I touched it. No problems with reinstallation either.

I’m beginning to wonder if this is all worth it? Mr. Wanky used to hang so proud and admirably. He used to create a bulge when I wore jeans. Anymore about all he seems to be good for is taking a piss.

It doesn’t help that I woke earlier than normal with absent penis syndrome. No morning wood today. There was also a remembrance of a dream I had. Mrs. G was much younger, she was standing at the stove stirring something, our little girl was sitting on her hip that was kicked to one side. Oh how her round bottom looked in those jeans, she knew how to hold her babies. I want to ride that bottom sooo badly.

When Mrs. G asked why I was up so early I confessed my dream and to having a case of APS .

Her what is that?

Absent penis syndrome. It’s like not having a penis because I can’t feel it.

Her: oh? I’m sorry.

She didn’t sound very sympathetic, nor did she even make a tease about helping me get over it.

I need to feel an erection. I want my skin stretched tight. I want to caress it, oil it, stroke it, plunge it into her from behind like an animal and let it spew wildly.

Oh if I could only find a cure for APS.

Sorry for the pathetic rant. If anyone finds a cure other than working feverishly all day I’m open to suggestions.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I’ve been through a period of that myself lately, but it has shifted to a phase where I’m overly aware of it being there, constantly trying to grow in the cage at the slightest provocation.

I honestly don’t know what’s better or worse.

[Tongue+groove]

I came in from my shower and she says,” you have something new to learn “

Me: Ok?

Her: The rice in the instapot is done. But you need to learn how to let the pressure off. You have to work the knob slowly, if you let it spew rapidly then you will have nothing but trouble. You need to let the pressure off slowly. Now twist the knob slowly.

And I did as instructed.

Her: see how it spews slowly. Give it time to do it’s thing. This is yet another example of how men create so much in this world.

At this point I’m speechless. She came home so stressed and vanilla and then she does this to me.

She can be so twisted at the strangest times. After this morning all I can think about is ruining myself at her direction.

[denied_one]

.

Her: see how it spews slowly. Give it time to do it’s thing. This is yet another example of how men create so much in this world.

At this point I’m speechless. She came home so stressed and vanilla and then she does this to me.

She can be so twisted at the strangest times. After this morning all I can think about is ruining myself at her direction.

This is amazing!

@MrsLockNkey gives the best ruins (I'm biased, but I only have myself and She to compare to), and this post of yours has me so freakin desirous of a ruin at the hands of my lovely Wife.

Alas, I am not allowed to be uncaged presently

[Tongue+groove]

. Alas, I am not allowed to be uncaged presently

I’ve been so exhausted the past two days I don’t know if I want to be released. She drug herself off to work hoping to be home early. It’s time change weekend, uuhhhgg! I wish the powers that be would could just leave the clocks alone. It’s just another head game.

It’s fixing to be a rainy day and my plans are to do a cleaning number on the house for her this morning then go burn a massive brush pile from some ground clearing I’ve been working on.

As for her erotic talk over supper preparation. She can be so surprising with this.

A little back story for the bored out there.

We met in college in an economics class. We were both in pre engineering classes it at different stages. We both had agriculture childhoods also. As a result she has a great understanding of physics, tools and basically how things work. She can get real playful with her rants about the world being engineered by men. Keep in mind she’s always playful about it. Some examples of some things she says at times.


Why is there always a male and female end to every connection? A plug in, a water hose, and most hand tools? Then add a sexy woman to an add for a garden hose shooting water and every man who sees it will go buy a new water hose hoping to get lucky.

Or

Why is it a man has to screw everything together. Then add in an impact driver and he grins like he’s getting his rocks off.

Here’s one.

So you’ve been pounding nails all day and tomorrow you will brag about nailing your wife last night.

Another,

Why do screws and nails have heads? Does it make you feel manly to have boxes and boxes of little penises to drive and screw with?

I’m starting to add on to her chicken house this weekend, I’m looking forward to some playful comments when I ask her to hold my wood (board) while I screw it up.

[denied_one]

Oh wow...just wow...

I read most of those "Mrs. Groove quips" with my mouth agape wide open, like this...

[Tongue+groove]

She’s pretty sharp you never know what she will come off with. Probably one of the first things I fell in love with her about.

[Tongue+groove]

It’s been a long week for us both. Spring time on the farm, so much happening. We both had a good sleep last night. Woke this morning to both of us realizing we needed the rest. I was feeling playful and throughout the morning I made a few comments that got her to give me “the look”. You know , the one that says back off you’re pushing it.

She was making lunch and I hear her start ranting about the chicken tenders she was using to make wraps with. When I inquired as to her frustrations she holds up a chicken tender and says “look at this, how am I supposed to eat this?”

I busted a gut laughing, it was a perfect replica of an erect penis with a well defined head on it. All I could say was “just shove it in your mouth and bit into it.”

Yep, there’s that look again followed by , “careful buster you might not like that”. Followed by “you’ve been quite a character today it may be time to paddle you back into order.

I don’t know if she’s ever talked like that and she looked serious too.

I love her playful come backs. Just not so sure about the paddle after the last time.