[SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

[sirmebane]

I just changed the title of my Journey thread because I'm very encouraged by the repeated conversations that I have had with my wife.

We had a brief moment last night after a family night outing (crazy running around until late) and I proposed several things that we could do as next steps. I had three in mind and hoped for at least two but would have been okay with just one of them.

First Ask
I'd like to try a 'ruined orgasm' and then explained to her what that was and why it was something that fit into our chastity play. My request and explanation of what I was asking for went on for 4-5 minutes, her answer was simple. "OK"

Approved.

Second Ask
I know you didn't want to make this an everyday thing but since you're going out of town for Saturday and Sunday, what do you think about locking me up as you walk out the door and we'll unlock when you come home on Sunday. We can have another 'special session for you' while I'm locked and then unlock for whatever comes for me. "Yeah, ok."

Really? "Yes."

Approved.

Third Ask
The 'experiment cage' that I bought has a lot about it that I don't like and has taught me what I do want. I'd like to buy another cheapo cage but only with your permission. This one would be much lighter and not enclosed like the one I have now. It is coming from China so it would be 10-14 before it would arrive but I want to go ahead and order it. "Sure."

Really? "Yes, go ahead. Just don't do it tonight, you need your sleep."

Approved.

I'm three for three and absolutely gobsmacked that she is on board for everything. I ask her again to confirm that she just said yes to all of it. "Yes." I'm still amazed and I'm looking for a facial expression that tells me that there is underlying anger or disappointment. Not there, she's serious. GREAT!

The following day we had an opportunity to talk in the car while running an errand and I told her how surprised I was that she agreed to all of it. It was then that she offered up, "I was going to suggest the lock up over the weekend but I didn't have an opportunity to bring it up before you did."

Uh..... really?

I was so disappointed that I had inadvertently stolen her thunder but excited that she was thinking that way without my prompting. Such a milestone! My blood pressure had jumped 15 points and I told her so, which brought a smile.

My morning was spent composing an e-mail praising her, telling her how much I love her and sending her information on what a 'ruined orgasm' is and how to do it. My new cage is on order and I'm hopeful that it will be in the mail when the sun rises over there.

We've come so far, so fast and I owe much of our success to you people on this forum. Such a good resource on the topic and lots of helpful commentary.

[sirmebane]

Ruined Orgasm

So last night we made the attempt to edge three times and end with a ruined orgasm which I wasn't confident would be successful. I explained it to her earlier in the week, I sent her wife-appropriate reading material (which she read) and she still had questions as we started.

It wasn't a question of willingness but one of technique and since I hadn't made the attempt before, I could only tell her what I'd read. We started off the experiment with me more than ready for some attention because we'd done the chastity lock up and I was spending my time taking care of her needs. It has been about 10 days and I wasn't sure how long I could last but I did what I could.

There wasn't a lot of time so there wasn't a lot of cuddling or romance about it. She just went to work on me and I swear it wasn't 30 seconds before I was breathing heavily and 90 seconds when I had to call her off for the first edge. Yep, I was ready.

The plan was to pause for 60 seconds and go back to work. It took a little longer than that to get my arousal down to a level where she could touch me again without fear of immediate orgasm. The second was even shorter but I was really enjoying it and my heart rate was climbing fast. She loves to suck and chew on my nipples and I had to remind her that all stimulation had to stop because that alone could have pushed me over at this point. (IDEA for another night.)

The third became problematic as I was losing my erection even though my excitement was through the roof. Her rhythm had to increase significantly and the hope of 'just pushing past' was falling apart but I wasn't involved other than trying to breathe and letting her know when I was close.

I got there after several minutes of her careful administration and many re-applications of the lube we used which was water based and a poor choice in hindsight. She stopped everything for the final edge and everything in my groin was buzzing, my heart was pounding and all I could do was squirm.

The time between the final edge and the attempt to climax was much shorter, 10 seconds and she tried to coax it out but I was having no part in it. So she increased the frequency and duration of the strokes waiting on me to call her off at the end. What happened was a series of mini-edges that had me climbing the walls and more than ready to either call it off or climax NOW! I have no idea how long that went but she found the right combination of touch and timing and I let her know. STOP!

All contact ended and I now had what 'felt like' a vibrator on high connected to my prostate. Semen started to push its way out and literally drained from me without the heavy contractions and spurting associated with a traditional orgasm. It didn't take any longer to evacuate but there was no sense of relief and there was a near-continuous sense of muscles pushing for a good couple of minutes.

Someone turn off the vibrator! The only problem was that there wasn't one and there was no switch. The constant buzzing of my prostate and lack of any other pleasure put me into a curious state. I didn't get the wash of relief, the desire to sleep or any of the normal relaxation I normally associate with a traditional orgasm. I was still aroused (annoyingly so) but I had a puddle to clean up that clearly showed that it should be otherwise.

The buzzing slowly subsided over the following hour but the arousal took much longer to go away. We had kids to pick up, tasks to complete and luckily for me, I felt like I'd just had three cups of coffee with a Mountain Dew chaser. My wife noticed that I kept taking a single deep breath and exhaling which she asked about. "I'm still trying to catch my breath and calm down."

So two complete newbies hit gold and got the ruined orgasm right the first time. There was no dump of prolactin and while it would be better than a brick to the head, there was no relief as such. The stimulation was very pleasant (no surprise), the stopping at just the right time was a challenge but it was wonderful up to the moment when it all ended. Then it was... all I can say is unprecedented.

I get locked again tomorrow morning and I'll spend the weekend under lock until she comes back from her trip on Sunday night. We plan to take care of her in grand fashion when she gets home (foot rub, back rub, orgasm, orgasm, orgasm) but then to turn it back to me for the unlock. I have to give it some consideration whether I ask for another ruined orgasm or just reset everything and start over.

I want everything about this to continue and I'm very happy with everything we've been able to accomplish so far, but I don't think she'll want to let the fantasy persist. She has surprised me so far so maybe she will, we'll just have to see.

What I have to decide is whether I want to even ask for it. I don't know what to do with all of this energy that I have the next day. I ran 5 miles this morning and considering going to the gym tonight or tomorrow morning.

What have I gotten myself into here?

[sirmebane]

Weekend lock just started as she was gathering her final things to put in the car, she said, "We have some business to attend to, don't we?"

Getting the base ring on was a bigger challenge this time than any other because I was excited and I had recently come back from a run so it was higher and tighter than average. I had to give up and come back to it a few times over the span of 20 minutes but then I got it on. She disassembled the lock and handed me the cage.

"I have a gift for you," I said with a grin on my face. I handed her a simple silver chain that I bought the day before, "If you're up for it, I'd like you to wear the key on it." She made an 'ewww' face and shook her head. "I don't think so."

I was hoping to go 'full stereotype' with that purchase but she wasn't going for it. Darn it. She looked at me trying to gauge my disappointment and suddenly changed her mind. "OK, but I don't want it to be obvious." I dropped the chain over her neck and showed her how it fell right between her breasts, not that I had planned it that way.

She locked my cage, put the key on the chain, we kissed long and hard and off she went. I laughed and said, "You just don't understand any of this do you?" We had a good, happy moment over that one and my weekend began.

[Jasmic68]

I am REALLY enjoying reading this. So often I read about how a woman doesn't get it and refuses to participate. You are one of the lucky few who has a wife who doesn't get it but is doing it anyway.

Hopefully she will have a click moment like my own Wife did, one of those times when something happens and she is all 'ohhhhh, I get it now!' When that happens be prepared, all sorts of interesting things can happen. My Wife's sudden understanding came one evening when she made me collapse in the shower from over stimulation, and then found that even breathing on my nipples had me writhing. She couldn't stop laughing and hasn't looked back since.

Please keep us updated and, just one piece of advice, don't get overenthusiastic and rush her. Women seem to take longer to assimilate and process all the information you are bombarding her with. The last thing you want her to do is give up because it all becomes too much for her.

Good luck!

[sirmebane]

So my lock up began on Saturday morning as she walked out the door. I had been for run earlier in the morning and my body hadn’t reset ‘back to normal’ which meant that my sac had drawn up and tight. No way to run with the half pound of cage on me so I knew I had to get it knocked out before she left.

When she gave me the signal to meet her upstairs, I struggled to get the base ring on since everything was drawn up to my body. The clock was ticking and then she would have to go. We loaded the bags in her car and I made another attempt with the base ring and still couldn’t get it on. Now I’m excited (erect) and everything is still drawn up.

I gave it a few minutes to calm down and helped her go through her checklist. Her friends were inbound and there was a schedule to keep so I had to get this done. I went back upstairs and everything was still tight but I was able get it on and in a hurry she joined me and locked me up. We had the exchange that I described about the key in the previous post and off she went. I was locked for the weekend and she was three hours away with the key around her neck. *heaven*

The first time I went to the bathroom, I realized something was very wrong with the alignment of the base ring and the cage. It was a mess even while I was sitting down. My penis wasn’t lined up and couldn’t properly enter the depth of the cage, I still don’t know how that happened. There was an emergency key in a sealed envelope but I wasn’t about to open it unless I was in pain or there was a health emergency. I went most of the day, out to lunch, played golf, had a little family time and decided that I needed a warm soak in a bath. My legs were tired from all of the activity and maybe I could get things to loosen up and adjusted in the warm water. The soak felt great but no matter how I shifted, re-arranged or adjusted, I couldn’t get everything to line up the way it was supposed to or how I needed it.

Since my penis couldn’t go down, I reasoned that perhaps it could go up and the next trip to the bathroom, I worked on slipping it back out behind the base ring. The pulling and tugging resulted in effecting my escape and I was able to urinate without a horrible mess. Getting it back into the base ring wasn’t as challenging and I was able to get a glimpse of the smaller than normal gap. I tucked it back as far as it would go and adjusted to my new reality. Not a big deal, but not ideal either. Haste makes waste.

Saturday night I got an e-mail from her about the key around her neck. She hadn’t been excited when I handed her the new necklace and wore it only because I wanted her to and because she is a loving wife who puts up with me. I asked her to wear it, if only until she left the house so I could enjoy the fantasy while she was gone. Her e-mail let me know that she didn’t take it off all day and only removed it to go to bed that night. She was self-conscious about it being seen and questions being asked so keeping it on in a very public event wasn’t a given. She wrote that she felt the key throughout the day and thought of me, “Dual Purpose, I guess.”

I immediately read it again. I could feel my heart pounding. I read it again. I KNOW she didn’t mean for that to be a sexual tease, but it was for me and I read it again. Her e-mail was three sentences in all and I was craving her like a madman. My cage being out of alignment made any erection or semi-erection simply impossible and I felt amazing. I read it again. Wow. I replied and let her know that she had stirred me up and I wanted to touch her in the worst way. Now I’m left with an active libido, a missing wife (or a wife I’m missing) and I need to go to sleep because I have to get up early on Sunday. Why am I doing this to myself? I would have to say for moments just like this.

She came home the next day, later in the evening and once I welcomed her home and got the bags into the house, I let her know I needed her to unlock me for a quick adjustment. “Something didn’t line up and I have been ‘sideways’ for the last day or so.’ She immediately asked me why I didn’t use the emergency key and I told her it wasn’t that big a deal. I neglected to tell her that I was trying to remain faithful to my chastity to her and not open the envelope. Maybe I’m taking this too far and too serious but I really don’t want to touch the lock or the key because I consider those her property. If it was really bad or painful, I would have used the key, I assured her. A quick unlock and re-lock and everything was exactly where it should be. Ahh.

When we got the house down for the night and things got quiet, I started my “Sex You Up” playlist that I had been working on with every free moment over the weekend. We normally leave the TV on in case little ears are nearby but the TV didn’t come on, Barry White, George Michael and Marvin Gaye did along with others from the Billboard 50 Sexy Songs of All Time. I rubbed her feet, I rubbed her back, I did all I could to relax her and romance her. She was wearing leggings and I love her in leggings, I don’t know who started that fashion trend but I’d give that person the Noble Prize. We took care of her needs for over an hour (80 minutes, I think based on the where we were in the playlist) and I seriously, considered letting her go to sleep at this point. She was adamant that I get some attention this time but was happy to leave me locked throughout her session. Now it was time to unlock and take care of me.

She was groggy and tired from a busy day, the travel and being relaxed from my most recent attention. She had tried to unlock me a couple of times in the previous hour and I told her to not be so impatient to let me loose. Now it was time to show me some attention and I was going to make a play to keep things going. We had planned to keep the cage on only through the weekend so I knew I couldn’t extend that way out but I also knew that I didn’t want to orgasm yet because I was loving this.

“How about you edge me three times like we did last week for the ruined orgasm but instead of pushing me over on the final tease, you lock me back up until the morning?” There was a sigh and she reminded me that I was supposed to orgasm tonight because it was my turn. “This is what I want you to do, I don’t know about you but I’m having a great time. You’re in charge, you can do what you want but this is what I’d like.” She made a comment about me and my curious ways and summed it up with, “This is your mid-life crisis, isn’t it?” We shared a smile over that one and she went to get the key. “Do you mind if I edge you with these satin panties? The lube was a hassle last time because it kept drying up.” That option was always welcome and I told her I’d love that. When she removed the cage, it was clear that I had been leaking pre-cum as I took care of her and was proud of my response. No matter how I thought I’d done, my body was on body with the appropriate physiological response. She made no comment about it but she didn’t have the angle or the view that I did.

She took me to three close and very quick edges, I may have called her off too early on the first two but I wasn’t going to spoil this now. The last edging nearly went too far and I leaked (maybe a drop and a half) and had to breathe my way through not climaxing. My wife was proud of her work but now saw no way to get the cage back on. We’d just have to wait for the excitement to die down which it eventually did and the cage slipped back on with only minor cajoling. I kissed her passionately and we both rolled over and went to sleep. It wasn’t the fantasy girl, power exchange of my most intimate dreams but I was happy with what she was willing to do for me. More importantly, I was proud of the attention I had showed her for the last two weekends which she has appreciated. I’ve given her more satisfaction in the last two weeks than I had in the last year. As sad as that is, I’m making steps in the right direction for our relationship if I don’t scare her to death with this stuff.

I woke up this morning promptly at 4:20am with my daily dose of testosterone and a morning erection that couldn’t go anywhere thanks to the cage. While it isn’t comfortable, it isn’t unwelcome either. I feel a pulse in my groin as the erection tries to build and can’t while my now awake brain assembles the memories of the past week and makes my situation even worse. I want to wake her up and start last night all over again but I know better than to wake a happy woman from her precious slumber. My brain goes back to sleep until her alarm goes off the next morning.

We cuddle for a bit and I allow my hands to roam her body before she starts getting ready for her day. “Down boy. When would you like to be unlocked?” I remind her that she should be making that decision for us but I had already pushed beyond the negotiated terms and wasn’t going to say anything but ‘you can unlock me now, if you want.’ She unlocked me and an erection chased the cage away as it was removed, the base ring would have to wait until my blood pressure could come down some. I was energized and ready to roll, no Monday regrets for me. I need to cum soon just to give my wife a break. I don’t want to but a reset is probably in order and I know she’ll worry about me otherwise.

My thoughts for now is that I want to give chastity a break to let her process the experience so far and remove constant attention I feel compelled to give her. A new cage is on the way and I’m sure that will spark a new session just because it shows up in the mail she’ll know I want to try it out. I’d like to have her suggest the next lock up which she almost did for this weekend, but I jumped in front of her and stole her thunder. I want her to assert more control and I’d like to get her teasing me on a regular basis, but baby steps… we’ll take these one at a time.

[sirmebane]

I am REALLY enjoying reading this. So often I read about how a woman doesn't get it and refuses to participate. You are one of the lucky few who has a wife who doesn't get it but is doing it anyway.

Hopefully she will have a click moment like my own Wife did, one of those times when something happens and she is all 'ohhhhh, I get it now!' When that happens be prepared, all sorts of interesting things can happen. My Wife's sudden understanding came one evening when she made me collapse in the shower from over stimulation, and then found that even breathing on my nipples had me writhing. She couldn't stop laughing and hasn't looked back since.

Please keep us updated and, just one piece of advice, don't get overenthusiastic and rush her. Women seem to take longer to assimilate and process all the information you are bombarding her with. The last thing you want her to do is give up because it all becomes too much for her.

Good luck!

I just posted the update from this weekend and I think I covered your suggestions but feel free to post any advice you may have. I know she isn't going to suddenly become a cock controlling tease wench anytime in the near future but a guy can dream.

An operational pause is in order now as I do need to contain my excitement and let her process all of what we've done.

[sirmebane]

So I have been unlocked for 36 hours and I haven't had more than a ruined orgasm (experimental) for 10 days. All I can think about is getting back into the cage and groping her thoroughly but I promised her that I would give her time to process the experience. MUST NOT BE SELFISH.

I sent her an e-mail telling her my thoughts about the weekend lockup and what I'd like to try next (if there is a next). No response. I know, it isn't her focus and she still doesn't get the whole thing so it is a lot more important to me than it is to her.

She has a night out with her friends tonight and the kids MIGHT be out of the house when she returns so I might great her at the door with flowers and a bottle of wine. No pressure, just a romantic gesture after what will likely be an early dinner with her buddies.

Craving intimacy and physical contact with her isn't a bad thing, right?

[sirmebane]

So just briefly, she came back from her night out. I did greet her with flowers and a glass of wine that I had allowed to properly breathe (don't forget that guys!)

We went to bed fairly early and I let her know that I was interested in 'making her day.' No talk of cages, no power play, just let me give you an orgasm. I didn't get an official answer but nor was I rejected. It wasn't a stellar night of sex but it was a brief window to show her a good time. She was tired and couldn't have held up for long anyway.

We never closed the door and the house was still awake which I think makes her much less willing but she enjoyed it for what it was.

As we talked about the day, the kids, the day yet to come she mentioned, "Maybe we need to 'reset' you tomorrow night." She was referring to my use of the word 'reset' to mean full orgasm and the tamping down of my interest. I asked her if she thought I "needed to be reset" to which she then asked, "Is that a bad thing?"

No, no it's not. Why is it that I (we guys) get so conflicted on this topic. I have read many accounts where the orgasm was seen as a sign of surrender, failure, ending. I don't want this ride to end and it doesn't have to but still... maybe I need some perspective.

So much to process. The more I explore this, the more I realize that while chastity is a physical act of restraint, it is much more mental 'mess with your head' fantasy than I ever realized.

[sirmebane]

Persist patience pays off. Last night I did the dishes (honestly because I wanted to, she had eaten out and didn't dirty anything. In the past, kitchen clean up would have fallen to her just because that's how we did things). I showed her a good time within the limits of the time and privacy that we had. She made the comment that it felt like she was worried about her parents catching us. <light hearted banter>

Today around lunch time I got an e-mail on our secret account and she proposed a couple of things.

a) A proper orgasm as a 'reset' because she thinks it is time and that I need it.
b) A new lock up starting Friday morning and lasting through the weekend.

This woman I married, she is properly wonderful.

I sent her a long reply with praise and appreciation. I also offered to let her off the ride if she wasn't entirely comfortable going forward because believe me, she's not. She got an honest look inside my head on why the cage, the key, the whole fantasy works for me beyond just 'not coming' as she thought would be sufficient when I first started talking about chastity.

My long explanation wasn't a demand, it was an attempt to help her understand what has been rolling around in my head. What I'd like to maybe try in the near future. Why I'm so moved by her willingness to do any of this.

We'll see what questions or concerns my honesty gets me into but there is time to let her process that. No rush.

I do love her.

[sirmebane]

The Reset

The plan went forward last night with her bringing me to orgasm for the first time in nearly two weeks. I had one ruined orgasm as part of an experiment to see what it was like about a week ago but nothing else. Not a record and certainly not locked up the whole time but with all of the ‘taking care of her needs’ it seems like it has been a couple of months for me.

She threatened to make me come and then lock me up right away (the plan was the next morning) which excited me even more even though it didn’t happen. While we were still trying to figure out our moment, she asked me if she could be part of this encounter or was it going to be all about me. I explained that it was her choice and that I would welcome her being a part of the evening’s activities. Discussion ended quickly after that.

We found our quiet moment and went upstairs a little earlier than normal knowing we had a limited window to strike. Kids would need to be shuttled here and there later on so there was no time like the present to get it done. I stripped down and she didn’t. I usually have to work her out of her clothes since she is very cold natured and not going to show skin until absolutely necessary even in the summer months. We kissed deeply, passionately and our hands began to roam all over the place.

Her touch was utterly electric and I was breathing heavily in no time since I was more than ready, willing and able to do anything she wanted. I was on my back and she was being the aggressor which was great but then I remembered her question about ‘being part of it’ so I pushed her back and intensified my stimulation of her. She enjoyed that for a minute or so and then reversed the roles again and told me, “No, this is going to be all about you tonight.” <shiver> I knew better than to argue so I soaked up all of the attention she poured onto me and gave back to her in touches and kisses when I could catch my breath.

She pushed all of my usual buttons, sucked and chewed on the nearest nipple and stroked me until I couldn’t hold back any longer. It was one of those crashing wave orgasms that just kept coming, I was failing to keep quiet as worked me until the end and made sure there wasn’t a spasm left untriggered. I was done, I was worthless, I was ready to fall asleep and I had a few hours left of running around. Oh boy. That was truly welcome. She made no mention of putting the cage on as she had threatened to do a day earlier and the evening’s other activities soon asserted themselves. So tired now.

We had an early start in the morning so after a later than average night, we had an earlier than average start for the morning. My wife woke up in time to go down and make everyone breakfast after her shower. On the way downstairs, she gently woke me up and let me know that she’d be back after the kids were fed to “lock you up.” I hadn’t prompted her for any of this, it was all her idea and she was executing on it with precision. I jumped in the shower and by the time I got out and dry, she was in the door waiting for me. “Ready?”

Now she is fully dressed for the day and I’m stark naked. She takes the cage out of the felt bag and proceeds to remove the lock and hand me the rest. The shower and the cool air has drawn everything high and tight so now I’m struggling to get on the base ring (stark naked) while she patiently waits and watches me. I’m very self-conscious at this point and feeling very much the fool for wanting any of this now. I pulled and tugged and jiggled and finally managed to get both balls low enough to push them through the ring. Of course, now all of this contact has started to send blood that way and excitement is building. I push my penis back and down just in time to get it under and through the ring before a full erection happens while I pull the ring as far back as it would go. With no further stimulation and time being scarce as the day was starting, the erection subsided enough to get the cage on the post so she threaded the lock through and locked it.

Click. Why is that sound so satisfyingly sexy?

I feel hungover as opposed to energized, not a bad thing, just different. I’m now locked for the weekend but this yet another new experience. I’ve been locked up within 12 hours of a full orgasm so the wanton desire isn’t there. It feels good but it isn’t as stimulating as was when I was craving her. I’m sure that will change as time goes by. A new day and a new experience.

Got word from the DHGate folks that my new Chinese Cheapo cage has shipped so it should be here in about two weeks (give or take a week).

Here is to the expectation of the unknown and the wonder that has become my marriage. Woof.