Introducing Chasity to vanilla wife

[male_toronto_in20s]

I know this topic might have discussed over and over again but since its my first time so want to post it and get real life replies/advises from fellow members.

I basically have two fantasies : Cuckold and Chasity. Problem is that My wife is super vanilla. However I am taking first steps and on this weekend trying to initiate the conversation. I read many blogs that you need to take baby steps by introducing this to your wife when she has no clue of this side of human sexuality however I am planning to take different approach. I want to expose all my fantasies (cuckold + chasity) to her and then choose chasity as experiment. I am not sure how she will react and what she will say. Things are tough for us now because she is doing job like me and we have small baby too. So its hard.

Senior members please provide some advise or links, it will be very helpful.
Also, If you are in (toronto/Canada), what is the best way to get birdlock ? Online ? I am thinking to start with it but not sure the ring size. Please comment that as well.

Thank you

[TwistedMister]

I read many blogs that you need to take baby steps by introducing this to your wife when she has no clue of this side of human sexuality however I am planning to take different approach. I want to expose all my fantasies (cuckold + chasity) to her and then choose chasity as experiment. I am not sure how she will react and what she will say.

So, according to you, you have already read many blogs and summed up their advice as needing to "take baby steps".

Then, you say you want to do something different, to whit: Dumping all this shit on her and then trying to get her to explore 'chastity' as an 'experiment'.

Then you say that you aren't sure how she will react.

Then you ask us for more advice.

My first reaction, is to want to reach through my screen, grab you by the front of your shirt and shake you so hard that your head bounces back and forth from your chest to your back while screaming "Are you completely fucking stupid??!!"

I will, however, attempt to be a bit more cordial.

First question: Since you appear to be bound and determine to completely ignore all of the very good advice that you have already received, pray tell, why do you think any of us here should be inclined to waste any time by giving you any more advice, which you are apparently determined to ignore anyway?

Second question: You say that you "aren't sure" how she will react. See my first inclination. If you aren't, then you know that the odds are hundreds to one (or higher) in favor of her freaking out, hence all of the advice to "take baby steps". I have a bunch of graphics depicting various characters :facepalm: , imagine that I have taken the time to find them and post them all here.

I'm going to type the next bit very slowly:

If you aren't sure how she is going to react, then you damned well better take "baby steps" and get yourself some clues.

Do not just dump all this shit on her and then expect that everything will be fine and that she will want to go along with some of it.

Read and re-read the above as many times as it takes for this advice to sink in.

You have a ("super vanilla") wife, who has both a JOB and a "small baby", and you want to suddenly tell her that you have this desire for her to lock your dick in a cage and fuck other men. AYCFS? She is most likely stressed out to the max, and you want to dump a boatload of kinky shit on her head and stress her out even more? WTFIWWY? DO NOT DO THIS.

OK, I tried to be cordial but I wasn't very successful. I think you need to get slapped upside the head, and don't be surprised if your wife does it for you if you ignore the advice about baby-steps and continue on with your ill-considered plan to dump your kinky fantasies on her. If you are very, very lucky, that will be the least of your problems.

[poptart1200]

What TwistedMister said is right on.

I would also add that whatever you do, make sure that you convey the benefits *she* will see as a result of your chastity. I can't stress enough how important that point is. If you make chastity all about you and it's your "fantasy", then she might not be so willing to go along with it. And don't expect her to agree to lock you up after the first conversation. You might have to take baby steps and educate her on how chastity will benefit her, not you.

And I wouldn't bring up cuckholding at all. Chastity will be strange enough for her, especially if she is very vanilla, you don't want to blow the whole thing up by throwing in cuckholding too. That's a conversation to have after you're in chastity for several months, and even then you have to tread lightly.

Again, chastity is all about the woman and how she will benefit, it's not you or your fantasies. If you call it a "fantasy" and make it all about you, she will get freaked out.

[Tom Allen]

...

[Locked by LRC]

TwistedMister; I'm sorry, you were so subtle I didn't understand, could you be a little more clear?

Agree 100%.

[locked4her55]

OK, I tried to be cordial but I wasn't very successful.

IMO, this could do irrefutable damage to your marriage.

[knighterrant]

You can tell her "I was going to do something that now in retrospect seems really stupid, but thankfully I got some great advice and I didn't do that. It was all about how much I love you, but it was kind of misdirected. Sometimes I am really selfish and think only of myself, I'd really like to talk with you about how controlling my behavior could benefit you and I both...I really could use your help and understanding...."

[CagedWestley]

Text removed.

[JBStok]

"Senior members please provide some advise or links, it will be very helpful."

... I'm new to the forums, but I will say to listen to the advice above. ALL OF IT!

And I may be new here, however I am now two weeks plus locked in a Holy Trainer after having my Vanilla wife turn me down a couple times to take the chastity and use it to her benefit. But hey, what do those with the most recent experience of making this work, now about anything...

Good luck on your endeavor... I will give you some valuable advice though:

Stop being selfish, chastity and serving as a cuckold is supposed to be selfless. Learn the definition of these words and practice how to be selfless to your wife before even thinking of introducing her to chastity.

Just my 2 cents worth.

And Twisted Mister, that has to be one of the best responses I have read in quite awhile to that question...

[Lockedchef]

If you don't take this advice might I suggest looking into the barrel of a loaded shotgun.