Place for wife to meet and talk to other wives

[WildWally69]

I have been under self Chastity for a week now with only wearing it while I am out of the house trying to get the device fitted correctly. I am writing a letter to the wife about my feelings for the need for chastity (masterbation). I am trying to get information together for her like NON BDSM, not cuckolding... We have very good sex life. Just want help to control my issue. We already share the household duties. So I am looking for a place for her to talk to like minded wives/gf/keyholders.

[slave d]

There is a separate Keyholders section on this forum. You can't see it because you're not a Keyholder !! Get your Keyholder to join the forum and ask in Her introduction email to join the Keyholder section and the moderators will arrange it. Of course you will not know what's discussed there !! My Keyholder MsM is a member !!

d

[Michele]

There are some good books out there (I have a post on our blog with a few book recommendations and then there are wives like me she could talk to. I often teach, mentor, explain and help along other wives on this journey. I think I have a gentle approach and am a good teacher. We have gone from a very vanilla version of chastity to a much more intense version so I have experience all along the way and can help her get to where she is comfortable. just a thought!

The keyholder section is here but it's not very active, to be honest. Once in awhile we get tho chatting in there. There is a ton of info there though if she did join the forum.

Good luck!

[WildWally69]

Lady M - Thank you for the info. With our situation I am not looking to be sissied, cucked, or any of that stuff just started this to help the marriage by controlling my masturbation issue. I have look at your stuff and I don't think we would ever plan on going that deep into it. I do know that just in the time that I have been wearing it I have been wanting my wife more.

[slave d]

You need to realise that if you really get "into" this AND in order for that to happen your wife MUST be involved, it won't be up to you any more how far it goes or what happens, that's the whole point of giving up power !!

The thing i love most of all about chastity after a year is that i NEVER know what MsM has planned or will want to do next !!

d

[TwistedMister]

You need to realise that if you really get "into" this AND in order for that to happen your wife MUST be involved, it won't be up to you any more how far it goes or what happens, that's the whole point of giving up power !!

When getting involved in power exchange play, many/most sensible people discuss and agree on 'limits'. Both people need to agree on "how far it goes." Those 'limits' may change over time, but people generally do not simply give up any and all control and submit to 'whatever may happen'- to do so is often unwise and can end badly, especially when just starting out.

[jfenoffti]

The "thing" that made the difference for my KH to become actively involved was I told her that "it's important to me." And she said "if it's important to you, then it's important to me. What is it?"

Additionally, I started focusing on her MONTHS before we had the above conversation. KH did not know that my attention to her was related or associated with anything. She just knew I was actively taking care of her, paying more attention to her needs. I wrote the daily attention behaviours into our "game rules". NOT a contract, it's a set of rules (highly tilted in her favor) like for a board game. It's all about "what's in it for her." In order for her to lock me up ( which at first she did not like at all - would still rather see me loose, not in a tube) there has to be something in it for her.

[Michele]

Lady M - Thank you for the info. With our situation I am not looking to be sissied, cucked, or any of that stuff just started this to help the marriage by controlling my masturbation issue. I have look at your stuff and I don't think we would ever plan on going that deep into it. I do know that just in the time that I have been wearing it I have been wanting my wife more.

I hope you know there is no you MUST do this or that with Chastity - just because our journey took us to a muh more intense place does not mean that anyone's chastity adventure has to look the same. You choose and do what you like a enjoy - I have written many times about that - if you want to wear your device and be unlocked for sex and orgasm daily so be it - if you are to be locked and never released for orgasm ever again - hey, do it!

There is a wide range of how to "do" chastity and no one can say what is right for you. You can learn from others experiences and draw from their strengths but I would never expect people to follow and do all that we do - I'm far too intense for most people and thats why my husband is MINE and I am HIS! We work together like this.

[Michele]

The "thing" that made the difference for my KH to become actively involved was I told her that "it's important to me." And she said "if it's important to you, then it's important to me. What is it?"

Additionally, I started focusing on her MONTHS before we had the above conversation. KH did not know that my attention to her was related or associated with anything. She just knew I was actively taking care of her, paying more attention to her needs. I wrote the daily attention behaviours into our "game rules". NOT a contract, it's a set of rules (highly tilted in her favor) like for a board game. It's all about "what's in it for her." In order for her to lock me up ( which at first she did not like at all - would still rather see me loose, not in a tube) there has to be something in it for her.

One this I think is important, for reluctant wives especially, is that they know you boys arent looking to be locked up because you dont want sex from them - THAT was my first thought and I freaked a bit. Like WHY the fuck doesnt my hubby want sex with me? When I realized that it wasnt that he didnt want sex and that it was all about ME controlling the sex - when and if he received any pleasure - then I was much more open to the idea. It still took me months of reading and research to say ok lets try this.

[Tame Lion]

There are a ton of resources online. Our blog is aimed at both the keyholder and you. We are not very extreme at all. My wife has been unwilling to reach out to other keyholders. Some have even sent her email offering her the help. She's gotten very good at it now, so the help isn't needed, but bear in mind that a lot of women are not necessarily willing to discuss this with "strangers".

There is a lot of good stuff out there for her to read that doesn't require direct communication.