Rambling From A New Member

[Ruhtinatar]

Thank you, Lucard! For some reason I do not think I would have difficulties doing that. It's a great idea! When we have sex, if possible, I always let her come first (some few times she just wants me to come). I love when she is satisfied, and her satisfaction just turns me on a hundredfold more, but I guess I do not have to explain that to anyone here If I actually have the courage to try out any of these ideas, I will write back to you here. I really, really appreciate all the inputs!

[Michele]

From my experience some women find this very strange at first but others love it from the very beginning.

When my hubby told me about his interest in chastity, I was not completely unaware of it. I at least had some idea but I did think it was weird, I mean who wants their dick locked in a cage and not have sex?

It took me four months and lots of research to realize that chastity is not at all about NOT having sex! This was very important because that's what I thought... I was wondering why my hubby wouldn't want to have sex with me - not knowing that chastity actually weirdly has us having more sex than wee every had before haha. Go figure!

[Ruhtinatar]

Yes...that is why I want to do this one baby step at a time. I am afraid that my gf will think that there is something wrong with her, which is definitely not the case. And I have the impression from a lot of posts made on this forum that for many women (maybe men too), the idea has to mature for some months. Since I am only seeing my gf one month at a time, I cannot drop a bomb on her and then just leave.

[TwistedMister]

Since I am only seeing my gf one month at a time, I cannot drop a bomb on her and then just leave.

Dropping bombs, verbal or otherwise, tends to have a destructive effect. Best to ease into it gradually. I have always been one to make sure that the lady gets off first, at least once, it just seemed the polite thing to do. Plus, it seemed to me, that the anticipation built up while delaying my own gratification made it that much better. In part, 'chastity', using a device is an extension of that.

You might could begin with a bit of fun sex-play, in which you indicate that you have a desire to please her several times before you get *your* jollies, and that you would like her to 'tease' you a bit before she gets you off- and she gets to decide just how much teasing and how long you wait before she 'allows' you to orgasm. In another step along this path, you could express a desire that she restrain your hands and 'tease' you for a period of time before 'allowing'/causing you to orgasm. If she is at all 'playful', she may find this approach appealing...and if she does, then you have paved the way for further exploration- extending the time and expanding the concept, allowing her to slowly realize the pleasures and benefits available to her (in addition to the sense of 'control' that she may enjoy), allowing her to gradually come to terms with the fact that you find this sort of play pleasurable and desirable. Eventually, when she has become comfortable with the concept of enjoying her own pleasure while teasing, delaying, and controlling *yours*, she may be more likely to be receptive to the idea of using a physical device/restraint to enhance this play.

Of course, your approach must be tailored to her and your personalities and there is no way that we can advise you on how to best accomplish this.

[Ruhtinatar]

Thank you for your input, TwistedMister! I could not agree more with you on chastity being an extension of delayed gratification.

I would love it if I could just see a hint of joy in her eyes when teasing me, because she knows that she has the control. I would love even more if one day I could log into this forum and tell all of you that "today she put me in chastity". I am trying all the time, however, to factor into my hopes that she might not like any of this at all, and in the end she is infinitely more important. But wow....I'd be happy if she'd be happy with this.

[locked4her55]

Ruhtinatar,

Ever heard the phrase "slow and steady wins the race". Don't be in a sprint to get locked up, and you have a special circumstance dealing with the lack of time spent together.

I believe I speak for many here that would tell you that this won't happen overnight. Took months for us.

[Ruhtinatar]

No, hehe, I will not rush anything, locked4her55. I doubt I will even bring up the idea of a chastity device before we live together, and even then I will (try to) be very patient.