[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

We both agreed that we didn’t want the stereotypical dominatrix and slave relationship.
To be clear that hasn’t changed, but I feel a real change in myself towards a more submissive nature.
I find myself longing for opportunities to please her. I have no desire for changing my appearance and being more feminine in any way, but I find myself fantasizing about being humiliated and restrained.

Same here. My more submissive nature is really more about understanding and taking care of her. I don’t track mud and sawdust into the house. And I get a real joy from cleaning her (my) floors instead. I have even started laundering my muddy sawdusty bibs at my shop where I have a washing machine to help reduce dirt in the house. The back porch is less like a mud room every day.

As I have taken on more housework she is feeling more liberty to walk the dogs and relax more in the evenings. It’s quite rewarding to see her do this.

Humiliated isn’t always degrading. Just being told I’m a good boy is enough to make me tingle. Being given demerits for misbehavior and the possibility of a paddling has been exciting as well. Sometimes she recognizes that I get the horny jitters and will ask me, do you need a spanking to help you calm down? The answer is always yes. Sometimes I’m bound and left to think about it sometimes I’m not. But I’m always cuddled afterwards.

Sorry to overload y comments, just letting you know you’re not alone.

[Chosen_Jackal]

A good read and there are aspects that I recognise in my own situation.

Firstly, I smiled at the “freedom in the Nub” comment. For me, there is vitually no sensation when I wear the Nub but then again, I haven't got a flat cage so my experiences of moving into the Nub aren't those of finding new spacious surroundings.

The more submissive side? Yeah, me too. I hadn't wanted or expected it, but it has happened, maybe because my kh, Miss Emmie, had done her research, knew what she wanted, and saw it through. Our lives are much like they were, no outward show of feminism from me, but she is in charge for sure.

Well written post. Looking forward to the next episode.

I’ve spent many years shedding my insecurities that kept me from being true to myself. Looking back it’s fair to say that I suffered from a bit of toxic masculinity even though I convinced myself I was as open minded and liberal as they come.
Me and Red have experience from the kink community and bdsm from back to 2012 and we had more of a Dom/sub relationship back then, but the roles were switched. I was the dominant, but I can remember how I secretly wished the roles were switched. I didn’t dare to say it out loud because I guess I was afraid of how other men might view me? I’m not really sure why. All I know is that it was rooted in insecurities.

Now that I’ve opened up to Red about how I wish to submit to her and hand over the literal key to my penis I’m happier than I’ve been since we first started dating.
It feels like everything is okay to talk about now. There’s no judgement.
I truly hope we can make this lifestyle work for us. It just feels right.

I’m rambling now, but I’m glad to hear that you find some enjoyment from my writing. Reading yours and KHEmmie’s journals has been eye opening and inspiring to say the least, and I know Red has enjoyed reading them as well.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I was originally writing a much longer and detailed (almost a short novel) about yesterday’s events and what transpired throughout the night and this minoring.
I realized it read like a bad smut novel and didn’t focus on what I truly wanted to communicate so I’ll try this approach instead.

Yesterday was a special day for Red and me in a way. I’m having major surgery in two weeks and last night was the last time I can eat a normal meal for a long while, so I cooked us dinner and we had a lovely evening.

Highlights include us fooling around under blankets on the couch like a pair of teenagers after I gave her a good long massage that ended in her instructing me to finger her to an orgasm. It was hot, intimate and felt so rewarding. We’ve actually done this three times in the last two weeks and hopefully it’ll become a semi regular afternoon activity.

Red was teasing me all day about what she’d do to me when we got to bed later, but when we eventually got to bed she’d apparently forgotten all about it.
I’m not gonna lie. I was disappointed. I had a moment where I felt locked and forgotten, but I reminded myself that this is completely within her right to decide. She’s under no obligation to give me anything if she doesn’t feel like it, so I accepted my fate, hugged her and prepared to sleep.

Then she spoke softly. Asking me if I was frustrated and if my cock was aching after all she’d talked about earlier.
She was teasing and even a little condescending in tone. She spoke in a way that made me feel both humiliated and aroused at the same time. She was embracing her dominance over me.
She told me she hadn’t forgotten about me, but was too tired to do anything this night so I should be happy about what I got.
I was completely okay with that. The fact that she hadn’t forgotten, but put her own needs before mine was all I wanted and I felt seen.

Now here’s where Red got too clever for her own good. She got so into teasing me and talking dirty about how useless my cock must feel in the cage that she got rather horny herself.
It didn’t take long before I was allowed out of the cage and told to fuck her.
She loves the various dildos we’ve bought but she wanted to feel me inside her, but I was told sternly not to cum.
I managed to last a lot longer than I’d thought, but I had to stop eventual I felt the pressure build up.
I took care of her with fingers and a dildo and then it was back in the cage for me.
Red actually said I could sleep with the cage if I wanted to, but I told her I was so horny I didn’t dare take the risk.
She seemed pleased with that.

This morning started with me massaging her back and shoulders for almost two hours. She’s often irritated when I wake her up so I made sure to give her the best morning I could. She’s so beautiful when she just lets me work on her sore muscles and her face and closed eyes is locked in a mix of pain and pleasure.
To my surprise she wanted another round this morning. She’s never been into morning sex so I was eager to help get her off once more.
All three times, on the couch last evening, last night and this morning, had the common theme that we took our sweet good time. No rush. We built up the excitement and pleasure and she seemed to enjoy herself more than normal.

I guess this got long as well, so I’ll try to wrap up.
I have thought a lot about what chastity has given us. Take this morning for example. I was happy to spend as long as Red wanted massaging every square centimeter of her back several times over. I told her I’d keep going for as long as she wanted.
In the past I’d give it maybe ten minutes, get hard and try to be smooth about maneuvering my cock nether thighs.
She’d likely let me fuck her. That would be pretty underwhelming for her and lead to less than mediocre orgasm for me. Looking back at those times it’s clearly not worth it.
I’d much rather focus on her needs and pleasure. I’m confident Red agrees.

She’s also so much more comfortable being a little dominant.
The fist thing she asked when she got down to the kitchen this morning was why wasn’t her coffee ready?
We’ve never had an arrangement where I’d make her coffee unprompted (I don’t drink coffee myself), but she rightly pointed out that I could hear her walk down the stairs and should have known she always wants coffee immediately.
I won’t forget that in the future, and I should probably start thinking about other areas where I can be more proactive in meeting her needs without her having to tell me.

I love you Red. Thank you for giving me the chance to be better.

[Tongue+groove]

cage that she got rather horny herself.
It didn’t take long before I was allowed out of the cage and told to fuck her.

I finally figured it out. This is why I don’t get edging sessions more. She gets so horny playing with me that she can’t stand it. She can’t edge me without a good fucking for herself. My goodness a woman who gets hornier than her man by playing with his cock.

Life is good. And better in a cage.

[Chosen_Jackal]

cage that she got rather horny herself.
It didn’t take long before I was allowed out of the cage and told to fuck her.

I finally figured it out. This is why I don’t get edging sessions more. She gets so horny playing with me that she can’t stand it. She can’t edge me without a good fucking for herself. My goodness a woman who gets hornier than her man by playing with his cock.

Life is good. And better in a cage.

Indeed! But it does present a particular challenge when trying to stay chaste

[Tongue+groove]

Code: Select all

. Indeed! But it does present a particular challenge when trying to stay chaste :lol:

Yes it does, but she’s the reason I’m staying chaste. And i have resolved to being her sex toy. So,what she wants she gets.

This reminds me of a recent conversation we had. Where she stated that she can’t really change who I am. The fact that I wanted to change who I was is what made chastity work as a tool for making that change happen.

[denied_one]

All good stuff here

[denied_one]

This reminds me of a recent conversation we had. Where she stated that she can’t really change who I am. The fact that I wanted to change who I was is what made chastity work as a tool for making that change happen.

THIS blew my mind. Chastity changed me, but it was because I WANTED to be changed.....crazy....didn't realize it in the moment

[Chosen_Jackal]

Frustrated today. I’m so horny I could explode and Red is obviously enjoying seeing me struggle.
She’s naturally adapted to her new role. I wouldn’t call her sadistic by any means, but she’s clearly getting some satisfaction from seeing me this way. And she’s obviously enjoying all the attention and pleasure she’s getting.
We have sex every day and we’re both having the best time of our lives.

Today is hard, but I don’t think being allowed to have an orgasm is worth it at this point.
I’d take one if she offered because her wish is my command, but I enjoy feeling the arousal throughout my entire body. I enjoy feeling like a school boy staring at his crush whenever I look at her.
I love how much I just want her to be happy.
And she’s assured me she is happy.

I don’t know if she’s made a conscious decision to change, but she doesn’t add please at the end of everything she asks me to do any longer. She tells me what she wants or needs and I do my best to accommodate her.
It makes my knees weak.

Earlier today she was standing in front of me while I was sitting in a chair. Looking up at her made me feel submissive and almost a little embarrassed. Not in a bad way, but it became so apparent to me that this woman, who I could manhandle without effort if I wanted to, have this power over me. It’s not about the physicality, but the mental and emotional power she holds.
I don’t know if she’s fully aware of this yet, but I see her manifesting it more and more.

So as she was standing there, towering over me and telling me something (I’ve honestly forgotten what. You’ll understand soon), she must’ve seen how I stared at her.
She placed her knee, not forcefully but firmly, against my cage and balls.
I felt this shiver going through my entire body. Almost like an orgasm, but everywhere except my penis.
She applied more pressure and the feeling came over me again.
She smiled and walked away.

I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m loving every moment.

Comments and input are as always welcome.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Quiet and relaxing day yesterday.
Red seemed happy and content with Saturday’s multiple orgasms and seemed to be in the mood for keeping it cooled off for Sunday.
I was of course off the rails with my hornyness, but I kept it under control.

We had some interesting, exciting, but also a bit concerning conversations this weekend.
We’ve talked and fantasized about threesomes or adding another person or couple to our sexlife in the past, but the conversations has never gone beyond loosely talking about during foreplay and such.
We talked a bit about this again this weekend while walking the dog together and the way Red talked about it this time made it sound like she’s thought about this without me. The way she talked about it was much more detailed and thought out.

I’m not gonna lie. It excited me a lot, but it also scared me.
I don’t want to deny her anything. After we started this journey I’ve felt myself becoming more and more submissive towards her and I really put her needs and wishes in front of my own.
To be fair, she made it sound like I was going to be able to play with someone else also, but how will this work with me in chastity? What can I offer someone who doesn’t have control of my key?
And I should also mention that I was equally active in bringing this topic up as her, so it isn’t like she brought it up out of nowhere.
I’m honestly unsure what I think about this and what I want.
Then again, it’s her wishes that really matters.

She did reassure me last night though. She told me that with my recent turn towards being more submissive and eager to please her, it becomes her responsibility to have one foot on the brake pedal and make sure we don’t advance too quickly into territory we can’t come back from unmarked.
I was happy to hear her say this.

I also learnt a valuable lesson yesterday.
Red asked me if I needed to be unlocked for a proper wash.
I said that would probably be a good idea.
Now my monkey brain got excited and got ahead of itself.
Last time she asked if I needed a supervised shower she gave me an edging session that felt amazing, so I got hopeful that another was in store for me.
Well, when the time for my shower came I diligently cleaned myself and the cage, and immediately after that was done she told me to lock back up.
That’ll teach me not to expect anything from her.
She continued to tell me in simple terms that I shouldn’t expect to be unlocked for anything in the near future.
Last time I was locked it was for eight days.
She told me, lovingly but also with a hint of a condescending tone, that next Tuesday would mark another eight days and that would be far too short. She continued to say that it would probably be best to wait until the 14th, the day before I go into surgery so I had a pleasant experience to remember.
So that means 18 days if we count the accidental orgasm I had last Monday.

I’m excited and a little concerned if she’s planning on increasing my time locked each time.