Page 1 of 2

Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 8:43 am
by addadayplease
Poetry Poem Humor

A groom, known for sexual rapacity
Suggested to his bride “Let’s try chastity.”
On the night of their vow,
She locked him, saying “Now,
Let’s see if you have the tenacity.”

A groom, shared his kink – the audacity!
Had suggested to his bride “Let’s try chastity.”
On their wedding night
She locked him up tight,
Saying, “Let’s see if you have that capacity!”

A man – he’d been married for ages –
Started buying various chastity cages.
His wife found them, you see.
She has collected each key.
His arousal, once slaked, now just rages.

He’d tried Viagra, Cialis – and such.
They helped, but it wasn’t very much.
Now his stiff erection
Aims just her direction
In the chastity cage she won’t touch.

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 8:59 am
by Tom Allen
I have a weak spot for naughty limericks.
Take my upvote!

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 5:13 pm
by storywriter24
Clever and fun! Thx.

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 5:32 pm
by williebdenied
I'll try:

When the man can't control his own dick
The woman knows just what's the trick
She'll reach for the lock
That will trap his bad cock
Then he'll know that's it's high time to lick.

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 4:50 pm
by LockedByBD
There once was a man from Salinas
who for his wife was libidinous.
Though she thought him a dandy,
he was really too randy,
so she promptly locked up his penis.

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 5:06 pm
by LockedByBD
Apologies in advance... this stuff has got into my head!

There once was a man of desire
who for chasing his wife didn't tire.
She wrapped up his dong
while singing a song,
with steel, and glue, and barbed wire.


There once was a kinky old fellow
who when locked would howl and bellow.
"Don't yell at me!"
Said his wife with the key
"or I'll break it." So he became mellow.

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 5:14 pm
by LockedByBD
... and I'd better stop this and go do some useful work...

There once was a woman so wicked:
every penis she saw she restricted.
She put glue in the locks
of hundreds of cocks
'cause she love how they stayed so constricted.

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 10:10 pm
by addadayplease
My love wears a chastity cage
There are odors of urine and sage
And arousals clear drippings
And pubic hair clippings
It is steel. I think twenty gauge.

I’ve a husband that is truly ideal.
His cock is locked tightly in steel.
He obeys my commands
He is skilled – tongue and hands.
It’s a marriage both normal, surreal.

You know, I think it’s fantastic.
That my husband’s cock is locked in plastic.
His scrotum gets wrung.
He’s so good with his tongue.
And at times I am quite orgiastic.

I like it when I close the lock.
That renders, quite useless, his cock.
I like how he leaks.
All the time for some weeks.
And it alters the way he can walk.

As I pull out the key from its hole.
I say “Your cock is now in my control.
You be locked all fourth quarter.
In that tube that’s quite shorter,
And be chained every night to this pole.”

As I fastened the cage on his schlong.
I said “Boy, to me you belong.
I receive your devotion.
You can start with this lotion
For a foot rub that’s a whole hour long.”

He suggested they try F.L.R.
The first thing she took? His cigar.
She got a cage for his dick.
When she heard the lock click.
She exclaimed “Yes! I like this so far.”

She said “I’ll make every decision
I’ve arranged your adult circumcision.
And some piercings, some jewelry.
There’ll be no more Tom Foolery.
And you’ll be watching no more television.”

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2023 6:38 am
by addadayplease
Chastity Limericks
2/14/2023
addadayplease
All Rights Reserved.
Some have multiple 5th lines.

========

A kinky thing has become all the rage.
Locking his cock and his balls in a cage.
One inventer can measure
The internal pressure
With a built-in blue digital gauge

A kinky thing became all the rage
Locking cocks and their balls in a cage.
Their partners soon found,
By their sad subbie sounds
They’d regressed to the genital stage.
They’d returned to Freud’s phallic stage.

A hermit of the mountains, a sage
Live his adulthood in a chastity cage.
It was not his intention
To do such abstention
But, oh how he f****ked when teenaged.
A victim of his dead wife’s rampage.

At the ladies review, up on stage
Danced a hunk in a chastity cage.
Hear the deafening hollers.
See the fast flinging dollars.
Towards that man who was just legal age.
A shout!: “You need a narrower gauge.”
One quipped “Look, a new iron age.”
He earned way more than minimum wage.

The wife said “Since you’re married to me.
I’m gonna secure this thing where you pee.
It will work for that fine,
But your orgasms are mine
You’ll no longer get off, babe, for free.”

She ditched the church’s “male headship” class.
Thinking “I’ve always been a dominant lass.
My husband’s big cock
Is controlled by my lock.
So about “male headship”? We pass!

The groom on their second married night.
Was grabbed by his bride; balls held tight.
“It would be so fantastic
To lock these things in plastic.”
She was a virgin, but no neophyte!
Then she did it in a device of pure white.
Then she did it, taking full oversight.
So, he let her, being agreeable and polite.
And thus began the groom’s subbie plight.
So she did it in the soft candlelight.
“PIV, babe, is no human right!”
Hard to fathom, they were both Mennonite.

He was shocked, on their Valentine date.
She pants him; locked a ring and a grate
On his cock and his orbs.
“I read this in Forbes.
Now your assets are mine to frustrate.”

It was a video-chat kind of date
She said “Lock the ring and the grate
On your penis and balls.
Answer all of my calls.”
She was in Cleveland, and he in Kuwait.

He gathered his courage, so brave!
“Babe, I want you to know what I crave.
My junk in this steel.”
She answered “Then, kneel.”
He was in it from then…to his grave.

The Mother Superior’s ring
Has a key to a very special thing.
It’s to a novice’s cage.
He is one fourth her age!
She’s in Rome, and he’s in Beijing.

A monk was kept in sexual smolder
His chastity vow was taken when older
But every five years
He came to clapping and cheers
The whole nunnery was his keyholder!

Re: Poetry - Limericks

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2023 9:49 am
by Atone
addadayplease wrote: Wed Feb 15, 2023 6:38 am
One inventer can measure
The internal pressure
With a built-in blue digital gauge
Is this really a thing? I am so out of the loop, sounds kind of cool. So much potential.