The Big question.

[Weaponx]

If you are like me, then you get horny when you or denied because it confirms what you already know. That you are incapable of pleasing her and that you are better off locked up. Having her control your ability to have even an erection shows your submission to her and to her happiness.

[Mr Pickle]

I got to say my bit. It went OK...
I think C understands it a little better although understanding doesn't make much of a difference.
If anything, it has given rise to more questions than answers.

[Sam3655]

Glad it went well. Questions are good. Knowledge is power and what we understand, we don’t fear. Except spiders. You can know everything about them but spiders still creep you out. lol

[goog]

I'm really new to chastity (and I'm very new here), so I may not have anyplace good to come from.

But, if my wife asked me similar questions, I'd tell her what I've already been telling her -- and it's absolutely true -- I look as two things: 1) that it as an amazing gift to her. I'm literally giving *myself* to her by going into the cage, under her lock and key. It's an indescribable expression of love, devotion, and trust. I can't think of any other way to show the extent to which I love her. (As I was typing that, I just realized that it's also an expression of love that she accepts the key and the responsibility of "keeping me safe" in return. I never realized that until right this second.)

But also 2) It's also super hot to surrender myself to her and give her that kind of control. Her telling me no, keeping me locked, taking charge, denying me when I want her so bad, etc. Why is it hot? It's **because** I love her so much and I want her so much. That I can keep pleasing her without fear of "getting weak" or something.

Both go hand-in-hand. I love her, so I want her to own me. I love her, so I want to please her, and pleasing her pleases me.

It's really hard to explain.

[slave d]

I certainly wouldn’t be trying to tell MsM that it was an “amazing gift to her” as regardless of what we mere males think that’s not how women see it, at least at the start. They think “here we go, hubby has another sex bee in his bonnet” !! I started by “showing her” that I was changing, by doing more housework, offering to bathe her, stopping asking for sex, DOING more to give her more time to do what she wanted. If she she was going to do something I would say “I’ll do that for you” etc etc. THEN I talked to her about chastity and showed her the device, she already knew then that it was of benefit to her and just needed the cost to her explained.

What I’m saying is men need to stop deciding what they’re doing is a marvellous gift to their wives, their wives aren’t the ones with the sex problem, they just want a better life !

Not sure I’ve explained this well sorry.

MsM’s ld

[goog]

The thing of it is, our relationship is one that I've *already* been all of those things. There is no change. I *already* don't pester her for sex (very often), I do all the cooking and cleaning, most of the laundry, etc. I'm a stay-at-home/work-at-home dad. Going into chastity will change exactly nothing that way. I'm also the mechanic on the cars, the fixer of the house, the mower of the lawns, the creator of art, the piano player, the dog trainer and groomer, the planter and keeper of the garden, main parenter of our kids, the primary point of contact for the school (which I'm also highly involved in), etc, etc, etc.

I hate TV, so there's no worry about me being lazy and wasting my life sitting in front of it. We don't pay for any services.

Even without all of that, she is very turned off by the notion that "this will change me" for the better somehow. We've read a bit about that, too, and she hates it. She says, essentially (and she has a point), "You do all of that already. Why do you need a cage to make you do it? And even if you didn't do more to help, why would you need a cage in order for me to 'make you?'" She hates feminism and the notion of FLR. She hates the superiority stuff. If I had a "sex problem" (I don't), she would internalize it and feel like it was her fault, even if it wasn't, and there would be little I could say to convince her otherwise.

What *does* resonate with her is that we do feel closer to each other already. She *does* like the "amazing gift of me" aspect of it. When I put it to her that way, she was very touched. She does like the "fun" part of it. She likes the "game" aspect of it. She likes that I find it "hot" on top of all of that.

So, a lot of men have a so-called "sex problem," but not all men. That's not our relationship and it isn't me.

(I'm not taking offense, or anything, just in case my response sounds like it. )

[slave d]

All good we all come from a different place in our lives and perhaps chastity just isn’t for your wife. Perhaps you could just ask if she’s happy to just hold the key and give it to you when you ask and start from somewhere like that. The thing i would ask though from all you say is why chastity anyway ? Doesn’t seem to be the usual need for it and if your wife is completely anti any form of FLR then I can’t see what either of you have to gain ?

MsM’s ld

[goog]

I get that it's different for you and your situation, but my wife does indeed see it as a gift. She really does like that part of it, and she likes the "fun" part of being in control, and the ability to "punish" me for whatever.

It's a game and it's fun. And it brings us closer together. Believe me, I check in on her often and give her as many "outs" as possible.

So, what do we have to gain? We are close already and have an amazing marriage. This brings us even closer. Also, it's fun, and she seems like she's getting into it. As long as she's being honest with me -- and I try to provide the safest space humanly possible for her to be honest with me -- she seems like she's having fun with it and enjoying feeling closer to each other.

So... if it's a) fun and b) brings us closer. Why not?

[slave d]

Well I don’t get what your original post was all about then ? If everything is fine then that’s great, no problem ! but that’s not what you appeared to be saying.

MsM’s ld

[ARK]

Back to the original question. Why? My go to answer is ‘Stone Cold said so’ Then smash to beer cans together and drink what every is left.

I am sure you will not see the key for several months.