Masculine Male Chastity

Living the real life under lock and key
User avatar
Tom Allen
Site Admin
Posts: 5422
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Southern New England, USA
Last orgasm: April 1st, 2018
Orgasms this year: 0
Contact:

Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Tom Allen »

I just happen to be having several different discussions about the idea of being locked as inherently emasculating. I think that my writings for years have indicated that while one can perceive it that way (and indeed, quite a few guys seem to have a kink about that), in my own relationship neither Mrs Edge nor I see any loss of my masculinity from being locked.

Similarly, we do not see "foxing", that is, the man using a strapon dildo to have sex, to be inherently emasculating either. Yes, you can play it that way, but we never have.

The topic rarely comes up here, and I think that is because the demographic of this forum tends to skew both more mature in age, and married/partnered. Reddit, Tumblr, and to some degree Twitter skew younger and single, and I think that there's some kink-cultural thing that has developed along the lines which puts being locked into the same drawer as humiliation.

I'm just looking for thoughts on this.
4 x
User avatar
Mr Pickle
Posts: 832
Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:58 am
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Mr Pickle »

emasculating
1.
deprive (a man) of his male role or identity.
"in his mind, her success emasculated him"

2.
make (someone or something) weaker or less effective.

"the refusal to allow them to testify effectively emasculated the committee"

OK. So on count one it's a resounding No from me, but I can see why it might look this way from outside the box.
OK. So Tom. You have a unique setup. One that is so vanilla compared to the stereotype your almost normal (sorry, had to add that) 😂, and I'll stick my neck out and say most on here are on the vanilla side too. All unique in there own way, and unlikely to feel deprived in any way except in the way they choose. So is choosing to be less of this, or denied that a case for emasculation.. No.

There are however a few journeys here that would tick the deprived of his male identity box.
But they chose this and are are blatantly happy with the path they have taken. So still No.

On count two.
There's a hard one... Get it :)

Weaker or less effective?
If we were only discussing the penis. Yeah.. Maybe.
I'd argue it's more effective but I'm not allowed to play with it.
But. This is about the person right? And my experience is totally opposite to weaker or less effective.
The reason it works so well is because in many ways (that count) I'm stronger and more effective.
If I stuck my neck out and stood my ground C would take me seriously. I have more of a voice and it is more effective.
In a word "Strengthened".
Which I believe is the opposite of emasculated?

Anyway, that's my ten pennies worth and you don't get much for 10p these days.
0 x
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
whoami
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2022 9:18 pm
Location: California
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by whoami »

Chastity does not equal humiliation for me, and I don’t think the Mrs. thinks of it that way either. They are obviously often connected in porn, but that always strikes me as something quite different. I am probably further out on the submissive spectrum than most here, but humiliation has never factored into it for either of us.
0 x
User avatar
slave d
Posts: 1499
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:33 pm

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by slave d »

While I’m very happy that many here don’t see humiliation or submission part of their story in chastity it very much is part for me. I think MsM would be happy for it to be less so, she generally just likes the fact that as a 68 year old women she can have 3 “playtimes” a week and cum at least once in each and not have to worry about me !! I on the other hand get my thrill from being controlled and to some extent humiliated by her. Neither situation is wrong, it’s just different strokes for different folks. I think overall the big PLUS in whatever way you play the game is it allows an extension to a relationship that might have become a bit “boring”. I know from others in our age group that there aren’t many who still have much of a sex life after nearly 50 years of marriage and certainly there aren’t many women in that position who are more sexually actively now than they were 20 years ago !!

Any way, different folks, different strokes, but maintaining a relationship and keeping it fresh after many years is an aim that can’t be bad !!

MsM’s ld
4 x
New Zealand
After a year post covid of “freedom” I am trialing a good old HT V3 nub modified by me to have a glans ring so no pullout. Working well so far.
Engineer
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2020 1:40 pm
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Engineer »

I would not describe male chastity as inherently emasculating. I think its nature, like many sexual aspects, is in how it is utilized.

Ultimately, my wife and I utilize it to drive all my sexual desires to her. I would argue there is something inherently masculine about utilizing all of ones sexual energy on their wife. As a data point, We're both in our upper 30s

I do enjoy the element of being controlled this way but do not find it humiliating in any form. She had learned that she is capable of far more orgasms than me and knows that limiting mine makes me so much more willing to play longer with her. There is absolutely a level of domination/submission at play but in others ways it's simply our dedication to each other. She enjoys all the attention she gets when she is driving me crazy and I enjoy the enhanced state of horniness I stay in plus all the sex I get.

I do laugh at the discussion around "vanilla" versions of chastity play. Outside of kink circles, telling any one that you allow your cock to be locked full time and practice orgasm denial would be considered at least decently far along the kink spectrum. That is the nature of how we normalize things that we are used to. I think the nature of male chastity being able to be a full time activity makes is inherent kink level relatively high.
1 x
User avatar
Tom Allen
Site Admin
Posts: 5422
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Southern New England, USA
Last orgasm: April 1st, 2018
Orgasms this year: 0
Contact:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Tom Allen »

Engineer wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 8:51 am Outside of kink circles, telling any one that you allow your cock to be locked full time and practice orgasm denial would be considered at least decently far along the kink spectrum. That is the nature of how we normalize things that we are used to. I think the nature of male chastity being able to be a full time activity makes is inherent kink level relatively high.
My wife does not see this as an especially kinky activity. Like, at all. :lol:
1 x
CagedKC
Posts: 136
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 7:28 am
Location: Sailing the East Coast USA and Caribbean
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by CagedKC »

Well, I don't feel emasculated. I still do all the typical guy things I did prior to being locked 5 years ago, except jacking off of course. 😎 So rather than taking away power from me, I see it as a way to empower my wife through key holding. She has clearly verbalized having that physical symbol of control makes her feel powerful.
2 x
Locked 24/7 since July 2018
MM Jailbird
Key Holder "Sexy Red"
Hussman767
Posts: 345
Joined: Sat Feb 29, 2020 1:15 pm
Location: Birmingham, AL
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Hussman767 »

Bring emasculated isn’t part of our chastity lifestyle…neither is humiliation really, unless you count when my wife/keyholder tells her friends about me being locked or shows them my cage.
I’m not against humiliation, I actually kind of find it hot, but it is not high on her list.
She just enjoys me being attentive to her needs first and foremost and she enjoys teasing and edging me.
2 x
I serve at her pleasure
User avatar
Mr Pickle
Posts: 832
Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:58 am
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Mr Pickle »

Tom Allen wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 10:38 am
My wife does not see this as an especially kinky activity. Like, at all. :lol:
How odd. Just had to check.

I just asked C if she thought we were a kinky couple in any way. She looked genuinely puzzled and said "No? "
"What about the cage?"
Again, that puzzled look. "It isn't kinky. Just another way to keep you in line.
It's no more kinky than nagging you and making your life miserable until you do as your told" perfectly sensible, just not normal.

Looking back.. Now that would be imasculation. Nagging, putting us down, refusing to talk, sleep on the couch.
I'd love to say "Ah the good old days". But I'll take this life thank you so much.
3 x
Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
Critter228
Posts: 68
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:26 pm
Gender:

Re: Masculine Male Chastity

Post by Critter228 »

I’ve never felt emasculated. Never cared for the “sissy” comments in some memes and captions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I do enjoy the power dynamic. Do I feel less like a man? Rarely. But do I feel somewhat controlled sometimes? Yes. It’s a fine line that Is determined by the people involved. I think part of the fear of sharing this kink with others is the fear that others will see us as emasculated or less of a man or the shame that comes along with it. I had a few female friends I was able to talk to about it and while they never understood exactly why I’d want that, they never treated me with disrespect or as less of a man. Once I had a fiancée it’s not appropriate to talk to female friends about that stuff anymore. Though I really wouldn’t mind much if she talked to her sisters or cousin about it. I feel we are close enough they could get a laugh and then there’d be legitimate curiosity.
4 x
Post Reply