A solution to Vulvodynia
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 5:09 am
Ok, so I'm not exactly new to chastity. I've played with previous girlfriends before. At one point 2-3 week lockups were not uncommon. But's it's been some years since I actually did anything serious. (and that goddamn sleep has always been very, very difficult!)
Fast forward to now. Two years ago I met my beautiful girlfriend. At this point I was the dominant one, I was looking for a more submissive woman. My girlfriend is a very sensitive woman and she really liked me. So she tried her best to be what I wanted. The sex was never really good, we never managed to meet spritually and emotionally. We never really connected sexually. But everything else was amazing!
After half a year, she unfortunately developed vulvodynia and PIV became non-existing. It's been really tough the last year. We have non-PIV sex once in a while, but the very sexual woman I met two years ago has never really come back. Yesterday she told me that something sort of broke around the half-year mark. She feels she has become more asexual. Part of it is definitely also because a lot of people (mostly women) lose some interest in sex in a LTR.
But for me it has been really, really tough. Man, I miss fucking!!! So tough that I've considered breaking up many times. But I love her and what we have together is incredibly rare to find. I'm 44 and I've been dating quite a lot. I really, really want to make this work.
Of course I thought about chastity before. But I never thought it was something for her.
Yesterday I sat down with her and told her how hard it is for me to have a relationship like this without PIV. We have talked about opening up the relationship before. And yesterday I was thinking about this again. She has talked about soft tantra experience she would like to have with others and I have talked about finding submissives girls to play with. We have talked a lot about this earlier.
But in a way, this has always been the easy way. Plan B. Something that might work, but also might divide us further.
Anyway, after some talk about our relationship, some hugging and kissing, I thought 'why not'. I guess I was a bit desperate. I told her about a fantasy I had a long time ago. "In this fantasy I had a girlfriend who had a lot of pain from vaginal intercourse. So she would keep me locked up in a chastity cage and be very insisting on it because normal sex hurt her".
This was a true fantasy I had long time ago. The feeling that this fantasy-girlfriend really wanted me to be locked up the whole time was incredibly sexy for me! Quite a weird situation to be in this exact situation now, but with a girlfriend who I didn't think would like it at all! She has been almost afraid to see what I keep in my toy box.
But when I told her about this she wasn't closed to the idea. When I told her that all my sexual energy could only come out through massaging her and giving her pleasure, she smiled and said 'that sounds quite nice'.
Another reason why I tought there was a slight chance she would embrace chastity is, that some months ago I was working with some tantric self-stimulation with the purpose of becoming multi-orgasmic. Some of those days I was incredibly horny and she said that she liked that very much! I abandoned that project for other reasons but that memory stuck.
I was electric and very happy all day yesterday! Didn't sleep too much either for exitement. But I try very, very hard not to overwhelm her now. From all I have read this is a very critical moment. But damn, it's hard...
This morning when we woke up and talked about the day she also said 'we should also look at this cock-cage thing...'
Very, very difficult not to push! I think right now it's mostly my fantasy for her. Something that might make it a bit easier that we don't have PIV. And she's probably mostly into it right now because she could see the happiness in my eyes.
But seriously, I think it could do a lot of good for her too. She has told me that it's very difficult for her, when she feels pushed to sex. When she reacts to my expectations. Or the expectations she thinks I have.
Wish me luck. I think there's a chance I'll be in a cage soon... I hope I don't mess this up!
Fast forward to now. Two years ago I met my beautiful girlfriend. At this point I was the dominant one, I was looking for a more submissive woman. My girlfriend is a very sensitive woman and she really liked me. So she tried her best to be what I wanted. The sex was never really good, we never managed to meet spritually and emotionally. We never really connected sexually. But everything else was amazing!
After half a year, she unfortunately developed vulvodynia and PIV became non-existing. It's been really tough the last year. We have non-PIV sex once in a while, but the very sexual woman I met two years ago has never really come back. Yesterday she told me that something sort of broke around the half-year mark. She feels she has become more asexual. Part of it is definitely also because a lot of people (mostly women) lose some interest in sex in a LTR.
But for me it has been really, really tough. Man, I miss fucking!!! So tough that I've considered breaking up many times. But I love her and what we have together is incredibly rare to find. I'm 44 and I've been dating quite a lot. I really, really want to make this work.
Of course I thought about chastity before. But I never thought it was something for her.
Yesterday I sat down with her and told her how hard it is for me to have a relationship like this without PIV. We have talked about opening up the relationship before. And yesterday I was thinking about this again. She has talked about soft tantra experience she would like to have with others and I have talked about finding submissives girls to play with. We have talked a lot about this earlier.
But in a way, this has always been the easy way. Plan B. Something that might work, but also might divide us further.
Anyway, after some talk about our relationship, some hugging and kissing, I thought 'why not'. I guess I was a bit desperate. I told her about a fantasy I had a long time ago. "In this fantasy I had a girlfriend who had a lot of pain from vaginal intercourse. So she would keep me locked up in a chastity cage and be very insisting on it because normal sex hurt her".
This was a true fantasy I had long time ago. The feeling that this fantasy-girlfriend really wanted me to be locked up the whole time was incredibly sexy for me! Quite a weird situation to be in this exact situation now, but with a girlfriend who I didn't think would like it at all! She has been almost afraid to see what I keep in my toy box.
But when I told her about this she wasn't closed to the idea. When I told her that all my sexual energy could only come out through massaging her and giving her pleasure, she smiled and said 'that sounds quite nice'.
Another reason why I tought there was a slight chance she would embrace chastity is, that some months ago I was working with some tantric self-stimulation with the purpose of becoming multi-orgasmic. Some of those days I was incredibly horny and she said that she liked that very much! I abandoned that project for other reasons but that memory stuck.
I was electric and very happy all day yesterday! Didn't sleep too much either for exitement. But I try very, very hard not to overwhelm her now. From all I have read this is a very critical moment. But damn, it's hard...
This morning when we woke up and talked about the day she also said 'we should also look at this cock-cage thing...'
Very, very difficult not to push! I think right now it's mostly my fantasy for her. Something that might make it a bit easier that we don't have PIV. And she's probably mostly into it right now because she could see the happiness in my eyes.
But seriously, I think it could do a lot of good for her too. She has told me that it's very difficult for her, when she feels pushed to sex. When she reacts to my expectations. Or the expectations she thinks I have.
Wish me luck. I think there's a chance I'll be in a cage soon... I hope I don't mess this up!