Chastity Forums

Quick background, wife and I are in our early 30s, we've been playing these games for a while, and it switched to a more permanent lifestyle about a year ago. I love it, and so does she. She has really grown into the role as the dominant sexual partner in ways that I could only fantasize about a few years ago. She likes to be the one in control, I think it's surprising her how much she likes it.

I think she is a bit uncomfortable in that role outside the bedroom, however. That's fine, but I also think that her desire for control manifests in her wanting to do everything herself in order to make sure things are done exactly the way she wants them. She almost never accepts offered help. If she is overwhelmed with work and obligations, I'll offer to cook her weekly meals for her(she is a meal prep Sunday enthusiast), do the laundry, do the shopping etc. One aspect of this is kinky, it makes me feel good to do things for her. But I also make these offers from a place of empathy because, well, I love her and if I were in her position I would probably appreciate someone lightening the load. She refuses every time.

We've talked a little bit about it, but it hasn't led to any changes yet. One thing I have done is to just start doing things around the house without needing to be asked, which I suppose is a solution. We're both adults after all and I don't want to burden her by basically being a teenager that needs to be told to do his chores. It seems to please her, but she doesn't communicate very much how she feels about it.

I guess I'm making this thread to see if anyone could offer me some insight, or a better way to approach her when she genuinely needs help but won't accept it for next time I broach the subject. Thanks to all who read this, and cheers.

Do the simple menial tasks first, without asking, making it part of your routine, but take them on slowly.
I took lots of chores on and learned to cook, wash clothes etc. C nearly lost it in the end and nearly called the whole thing off. I was stunned at her reaction.
It seems she enjoyed doing these things and I was steeling her job, especially where it meant caring for the kids.
Occasionally C would tell me to do something and say "hop to it". But not often.
I downloaded a simple 'good boy points' app called 'behave' for my phone and that made a big difference. C saw my earning points as a reward or payment for doing tasks and enjoyed my reaction when I earned one. It also allowed her to take them off me if I slipped up, or spent them on time out, edges etc. (when permited).
Basically it gave C another means of control she could use during the normal day, and now often says "I'll give you a good boy point if you do this for me/them". It made it easier for her to ask/tell me.

i also just started doing things but found there were areas MsM preferred to do Herself so in the end we sat and did a list after i explained i really wanted (and got aroused by) to do as much around the house as possible, particularly being ordered to do those things when She is out with friends etc. So a list was created and slowly added to and some tasks allocated specific days etc, we both enjoy it and i have to keep a daily diary of what i’ve done which MsM checks each evening and uses to decide on discipline etc. So, i feel you’re at the point where you need to explain how doing these things turns you on and create a list as a start point to work off. i find it incredibly arousing to have MsM check my diary and say “The toilet is not as clean as i need it to be, get into your uniform and clean it again and then I’ll check it and discipline you for doing a poor job in the first place” !!!!

MsM’s ld

slave d wrote: ↑Fri Sep 02, 2022 6:52 pm i also just started doing things but found there were areas MsM preferred to do Herself so in the end we sat and did a list after i explained i really wanted (and got aroused by) to do as much around the house as possible, particularly being ordered to do those things when She is out with friends etc. So a list was created and slowly added to and some tasks allocated specific days etc, we both enjoy it and i have to keep a daily diary of what i’ve done which MsM checks each evening and uses to decide on discipline etc. So, i feel you’re at the point where you need to explain how doing these things turns you on and create a list as a start point to work off. i find it incredibly arousing to have MsM check my diary and say “The toilet is not as clean as i need it to be, get into your uniform and clean it again and then I’ll check it and discipline you for doing a poor job in the first place” !!!!

MsM’s ld

Excellent idea!!

Um, what exactly is "your uniform?"

WifeIsVanilla wrote: ↑Sat Sep 03, 2022 7:03 am
Excellent idea!!

Um, what exactly is "your uniform?"

i recognise it’s not to everybody’s taste here but it is literally frilly pink knickers and a matching collar with ribbons, bows and a bell or a red and white checked apron with frills on the edges and straps (usually the knickers though).

MsM’s ld

slave d wrote: ↑Sat Sep 03, 2022 11:56 pm

WifeIsVanilla wrote: ↑Sat Sep 03, 2022 7:03 am
Excellent idea!!

Um, what exactly is "your uniform?"

i recognise it’s not to everybody’s taste here but it is literally frilly pink knickers and a matching collar with ribbons, bows and a bell or a red and white checked apron with frills on the edges and straps (usually the knickers though).

MsM’s ld

So long as it works for you and your keyholder is what matters.