I now feel like it's wrong for me to orgasm
Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 7:57 am
My wife has come to appreciate keeping me in chastity. But she still will occasionally let me out. She did the other day after 45 days of having me locked up.
And it was weird. She gave me privacy to masturbate and I did. But several times while doing so I wanted to stop and go find her and give her an orgasm. But I knew she was not in that mood so I powered on through.
And it was pleasurable, both the masturbating and the orgasm. But it didn't come close emotionally to when we make love with me locked up and only she orgasms. It felt wrong to be focused on my orgasm.
And then the following morning we made love. And I brought her to several orgasms. But then she said she wanted me to orgasm and so we're making love and I'm focusing on her, but I can tell she's focusing on me. And that felt so wrong to me that I had to stop.
She wants me to cum. And a loving relationship is a two way street so even if it's all about her (FLR), that can include my getting to orgasm when we make love. Logically this makes sense. It is pleasurable for me. She wants it. But emotionally... For me...
Has anyone else evolved to this point? It's very different from how I used to approach this and is not something I expected. And I wonder if I'm screwed up - it's very weird to feel it's wrong to cum in my wife.
I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. And I think it's two fold. First, the ultimate sign of submission in a FLR is for my wife to take away my orgasms. It's so central, major, etc. to a guy - it's the ultimate way of showing every second of every day that it's about her.
Second, making love with her when all the focus is on her is extraordinary. Making love where I get to cum too doesn't even come close. For about a year now, after we make love with only her cumming, I feel satiated. It used to be afterwards I wanted to cum more. Now afterwards I feel complete and just want to hold here and be swallowed up in our love.
Third, I love the constant ache I have from not being able to orgasm. And that is all focused on her. Multiple times during the day it hits me how much I want her, and how much I love her. The longer I'm kept in chastity, the more often and more intense this becomes.
Fourth, it feels wrong to not be focused on her. I used to be a somewhat selfish guy and I like who I am now a lot better. I'm a much better husband, but also a better father, friend, co-worker (ok maybe not much better there), etc. That's not to say it's 100% a focus on my wife - a loving relationship is two way. There is a lot she does for me and there are things I ask for and occasionally push for. But orgasms are the fundamental selfish act and that feels so wrong to me now.
Anyways thanks for listening and welcome any thoughts on this. Especially anyone else who's hit this point.
And it was weird. She gave me privacy to masturbate and I did. But several times while doing so I wanted to stop and go find her and give her an orgasm. But I knew she was not in that mood so I powered on through.
And it was pleasurable, both the masturbating and the orgasm. But it didn't come close emotionally to when we make love with me locked up and only she orgasms. It felt wrong to be focused on my orgasm.
And then the following morning we made love. And I brought her to several orgasms. But then she said she wanted me to orgasm and so we're making love and I'm focusing on her, but I can tell she's focusing on me. And that felt so wrong to me that I had to stop.
She wants me to cum. And a loving relationship is a two way street so even if it's all about her (FLR), that can include my getting to orgasm when we make love. Logically this makes sense. It is pleasurable for me. She wants it. But emotionally... For me...
Has anyone else evolved to this point? It's very different from how I used to approach this and is not something I expected. And I wonder if I'm screwed up - it's very weird to feel it's wrong to cum in my wife.
I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. And I think it's two fold. First, the ultimate sign of submission in a FLR is for my wife to take away my orgasms. It's so central, major, etc. to a guy - it's the ultimate way of showing every second of every day that it's about her.
Second, making love with her when all the focus is on her is extraordinary. Making love where I get to cum too doesn't even come close. For about a year now, after we make love with only her cumming, I feel satiated. It used to be afterwards I wanted to cum more. Now afterwards I feel complete and just want to hold here and be swallowed up in our love.
Third, I love the constant ache I have from not being able to orgasm. And that is all focused on her. Multiple times during the day it hits me how much I want her, and how much I love her. The longer I'm kept in chastity, the more often and more intense this becomes.
Fourth, it feels wrong to not be focused on her. I used to be a somewhat selfish guy and I like who I am now a lot better. I'm a much better husband, but also a better father, friend, co-worker (ok maybe not much better there), etc. That's not to say it's 100% a focus on my wife - a loving relationship is two way. There is a lot she does for me and there are things I ask for and occasionally push for. But orgasms are the fundamental selfish act and that feels so wrong to me now.
Anyways thanks for listening and welcome any thoughts on this. Especially anyone else who's hit this point.