being denied her orgasm harder than being denied your own

[coffee2sugars]

Just letting of some steam really.

We are 4 days in to a lockup where I am denied my own pleasure but I have experienced in the past a kind mind orgasm when my wife has hers.

So yesterday she teased me alot with the insinuation that I could give her an orgasm. It was denied but she promised me that she would let me give her one that night. I was gutted but obedient.

That night she said she was tired, she still managed to tease me to absolute bursting point but again denied me her orgasm. She did promise though that the morning would see me giving her a good tounging.

This morning she said she had changed her mind again and I could only lick her nipples for a moment.

that is when I made my mistake. I know its her choice but after 3 promises I just said theres no point if it is only going to lead to more broken promises. I walked out of the house and went to work feeling like I was being punished for being good.

We have talked and sorted things out but I am curious should promises be kept as long as you have exhibited good behaviour? Is it harder to give up her orgasms than it is your own?

Your thoughts.

I certainly would never expect her feel like she has to perform. Its her choice completely.

[notbeinfringed85]

Not exactly like your situations, but after some play, she will send me out of the room while she uses her vibrator. It really is hard on me because it love watching her cum so much. After she lets me back in, she has me lick her and her toy clean. It's kinda heartbreaking.

[locked4her55]

IMO, a couple times doing this is a tease. If it went on for weeks then it's "getting old fast".

With only the two of us in the house I will sometimes while she is making dinner or working on something else begin to caress her and within minutes we are both worked up. I'll suggest that maybe she needs a little "servicing" and 90% of the time she replies, "not now, later when we go to bed". Well when we do retire for the evening she is usually too tired from the works she's brought home that she crashes.

So I'm with you that being denied in giving her pleasure is usually harder than my own denial.

[LockedUp24]

My god i can relate to this coffee2sugars

For us its been

[*]4months 23hrs since i was allowed to give my KH oral.
[*]4months since ive masturbated her.
[*]2months since any PIV sex.

If she does masturbate its when im getting the kids sorted for school in the morning..Not fair.


notbeinfringed85 Im jealous of you on this one.

[KydenHeart]

My wife and I had a similar problem even before we started OD. I work late almost every night and over text she would be saying how much she missed me and how she wanted to jump my bones as soon as i got home. Needless to say by the time i got home i was ready, however usually once 930 hit she would be shutting down ready to sleep. Eventually we just came to realize that if she didn't say "We are going to have sex tonight" and instead said "I MIGHT be up to it tonight" my expectations weren't as strong and there wasn't as much of a let down.

On the other hand if its purposeful teasing, I would agree that a couple promises to do something, wile getting you all worked up and then leaving you high and dry, is fare.

[coffee2sugars]

Hi Guys and thanks for the reply's.

We have spoke and I told her how I felt that I was being punished for trying to do everything she asked and she did say that she understood that.

From what we talked about I think she was trying to teach me that I should never expect anything from her and that she was trying to establish her control but when I said I wouldnt have expected anything if she had not specificly promised it she understood that it felt more like a rejection and punishment than just having to comply with her wishes.

Not exactly like your situations, but after some play, she will send me out of the room while she uses her vibrator. It really is hard on me because it love watching her cum so much. After she lets me back in, she has me lick her and her toy clean. It's kinda heartbreaking.

That would be a real toughy for me and I would struggle. One of the main reasons I love chastity play so much is because I am leraning so much more about my wifes likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Since starting this she has become so much better at directing me and helping me to help her acheive her orgasm that if I was removed from this service I would feel rejected. On the other hand if I am work or just not available a text to say what she is doing is a massive turn on because I know that I and the chastity play is making her extreemly horny.

IMO, a couple times doing this is a tease. If it went on for weeks then it's "getting old fast".

With only the two of us in the house I will sometimes while she is making dinner or working on something else begin to caress her and within minutes we are both worked up. I'll suggest that maybe she needs a little "servicing" and 90% of the time she replies, "not now, later when we go to bed". Well when we do retire for the evening she is usually too tired from the works she's brought home that she crashes.

So I'm with you that being denied in giving her pleasure is usually harder than my own denial.

This sounds like 90% of what can happen with us. We are both very sexually charged and excited before bed but at bed time, we are both pretty much so tired we are asleep before we hit the pillows.
We are not full time chastity players she enjoys the Vannila side of our relationship and freedom it gives her just to enjoy me pulling her into my arms and initiating our intimate times together. We share our time in chastity 50 / 50 with our vannila lives and it works out well for us keeping the chastity thing pretty exciting for us but also allowing us a little freedom.
During the times we are not playing a broken promise isnt really an issue but when your horny as hell with balls the size of basketballs a broken promise is like the worst thing in the worst thing in the world lol. especially if it is offered and not requested.

[*]4months 23hrs since i was allowed to give my KH oral.
[*]4months since ive masturbated her.
[*]2months since any PIV sex.

If she does masturbate its when im getting the kids sorted for school in the morning..Not fair.


notbeinfringed85 Im jealous of you on this one.

This deffinatly would not work for me lol, I guess I am just too sensative but for me I would feel compleetly removed the relationship and that has never been what I wanted from chastity. If was to play this way before long I would become disinterested in the chastity lifestyle all together and one way or the other it would be over.

Please do not think of this as judgment. One thing I love about this forum is wide range of people and the way they play. This aboviously works for you and I think you are a lucky man for finding someone that wants to play the same as you.

I hope at least she building up to one almighty release day wher you feel like a kid in a sweet shop with an unlited supply of chocolate.

It makes you realise how diffrent people are, whilst we love the chastity lifestyle it is so important to find the right partner with the same goals, likes and dislikes as you.

My wife and I had a similar problem even before we started OD. I work late almost every night and over text she would be saying how much she missed me and how she wanted to jump my bones as soon as i got home. Needless to say by the time i got home i was ready, however usually once 930 hit she would be shutting down ready to sleep. Eventually we just came to realize that if she didn't say "We are going to have sex tonight" and instead said "I MIGHT be up to it tonight" my expectations weren't as strong and there wasn't as much of a let down.

On the other hand if its purposeful teasing, I would agree that a couple promises to do something, wile getting you all worked up and then leaving you high and dry, is fare.

KydenHeart

We have have through similar patches like that and things were very tense between us. We were very close to bringing things to an end in our relationship. Luckily we both realised how close we was pulled through it.
I agree that terms like we "might" rather "we will" make a huge diffrence. It does not help either that I have a much higher sex drive than she does.

Purposful teasing, I think she is becoming a pro. Her moto is small but intense amounts very often instead of large amounts in 1 go and a long break. I am frustrated 24 hrs a day

[Grizzly228]

Never had a keyholder situation like that but I was refraining from orgasms at the time I was with my ex and love going down on her. However she didn't want me to and wanted me to cum instead. I felt like a failure for cumming when I didn't want to (even though it felt amazing and shot about five feet) and she didn't get to cum even if it was her choice.

[coffee2sugars]

Never had a keyholder situation like that but I was refraining from orgasms at the time I was with my ex and love going down on her. However she didn't want me to and wanted me to cum instead. I felt like a failure for cumming when I didn't want to (even though it felt amazing and shot about five feet) and she didn't get to cum even if it was her choice.

I have momwnts outside of chastity where I feel similiar and long for the type sex we have when I am locked. I am lucky though because I know that type of sex is just round the corner.

[danj]

Yes. When I'm denied, I really NEED her orgasm. I mean, I always want her to cum, but her orgasm becomes our orgasm when I don't cum, and I tend to bask in her afterglow. I really want that so badly when I can't cum. Any intimacy we have is thrilling, of course, but her cumming is a big deal for me.

[coffee2sugars]

Yes. When I'm denied, I really NEED her orgasm. I mean, I always want her to cum, but her orgasm becomes our orgasm when I don't cum, and I tend to bask in her afterglow. I really want that so badly when I can't cum. Any intimacy we have is thrilling, of course, but her cumming is a big deal for me.

I remember during our purely vannilla times when we were having a frank conversation she told me orgasms took alot of her and often at times it could take an hour or so to regain her energy. She said then that although she would cum most of the times on the occasions that she didn't she was still left with a sense of fullfilment knowing I had cum and that sometimes that was more pleasing than having 1 herself.

I never understood that until now and at the time felt like I was a failure for not performing 100 % of the time.

Now though having experienced the head/mind orgasm through chastity I fully understand what she was saying and how satisfying it can be.