I belong to claimingwhatsmine

[lednlocked]

**My wife (claimingwhatsmine) was asked how chastity play came up in our marriage. Here is the
answer.**

A week or so ago, my wife said she wanted to speak to me. She completely
freaked me out when she told me what she wanted, an FLR and chastity play.
She sat me down and explained all the facets of FLR and male chastity that
appealed to her.

It felt like I was getting “the talk” again, only this time the birds had on
latex and were beating the bees with riding crops.

I got my thoughts together by having a three day anxiety attack.

I was initially tormented by thoughts of just becoming a live-in
eunuch/slave. The first two days were awful as I ran down multiple
irrational scenarios.

Then she spoke to me again and things got better. She described chastity as
a “game.” Telling myself it was a game certainly helped me to see that it
could be fun. Especially since I would be playing with the woman I love. She
also described how exciting certain aspects were and just how beautiful she
thought the chastity devices were. That calmed me down and changed my
perspective.

I considered how little fun I had brought to our bedroom. I had been rather
selfish and inhibited our entire marriage. The obeying her part was even
easier to accept because I could see how much of a liar I had been. My words
had always been “I’d do anything for you,” but I had rarely followed through
on that. It really started to appeal to me as I considered how good it would
feel to not only know what would please her, but to also have no option
other than doing it.

The fear of having to trust her and obey without question became arousing
and appealing.

The problem was I had to agree to submit to her by trusting her completely
and I couldn’t offer a bunch of preconditions without ruining the game. I
had to trust that she wasn’t into pegging me and that she knew my limits.

On the third day, when she expected an answer, I avoided her completely. I
went to work without telling her my decision.

I was going to say “yes,” but my chest got tight and I chickened out.

I used that bought time to reason it out. I played back how she’d told me
our relationship “had always been a FLR.” I went over it and had to agree.
She was the one who had called me and asked me out. She was the one who had
suggested we go “look” at rings. Throughout our marriage, there was a
familiar pattern of her taking the lead.

I finally decided to look at it as if I had never met her and she just
walked up to me on the street. I asked myself what I’d say if a gorgeous
woman stopped me on the street, forcefully grabbed my crotch and said “I
want to own you. You will be my toy. I will do with you as I please. I will
lead you around by your cock and teach you that belonging to me is very
pleasurable.”

After that, I felt silly making her wait three days for my answer. Now we’re
waiting six weeks for my cd to arrive so she can be my KH.

[locknload]

Great story. Roll with it and grow into your new role... you'll both be happy.

[WifeIsVanilla]

I am jealous and can't wait for the updates!

[wishful4]

Congrats to such a lucky man. You have what many on this forum only dream of. A spouse that wants to fully invest in this lifestyle. I suggest that you tell her you want to be the best sub you can be for her and what can you do to help the two of you get started. The main thing is to communicate, communicate, communicate. Suggest that one night a week, she evaluate your performance as her sub for the week. Ask her to tell you what you are doing that she likes and what you can do to improve. Talk to her about your feelings, both good and bad. She will have a learning curve too. Bottom line, I am excited for both of you and look forward to reading about your journey.

[TwistedMister]

Speaking of 'communication'...

I had to trust that she wasn’t into pegging me and that she knew my limits.

I think that most agree that [in most cases] limits should be discussed, rather than simply leaving them to 'trust'.

[kpb57]

I agree with Twisted. Setting the "ground rules" is an important step in making it enjoyable for both of you.
If you say "trust", I ask "trust in what?". If she has no idea that XXX is absolutely beyond you, how can she avoid forcing XXX on you, thereby ruining the game and possibly your relationship.
So it is your responsibility to be open about yourself and your feelings; who else can make sure that she does "know your limits"?
Even if she has the last word, the "ground rules" are the foundation on which trust is built.

-K

PS Thank you for the answer to my inquiry.