Corrective Action & Being Broken

[freespirit]

Has anyone ever had the shoe on the other foot? There are times when my keyholder comes hone from a real bad day at work and is NOT in a good mood. She is looking to pick a fight, just because of the pressure she is under from work. So I slip into the bedroom and strip except for my collar and come out to her with the ping pong paddle. I am always naked and her dressed when put over her knee and spanked. She does not always take me up on the offer but when she does, I get an extra long and hard spanking. But it does turn her mood around. Probably because she realizes that there is control in her life that she has and that is over her chastised husband. Only problem is sometimes she uses a wooden spoon and that hurts most of all. But afterwards she is back to normal and I feel that I went above and beyond to help her out. I love her and would do anything to make her feel better! Unfortunately I have not been in chastity for a while, have needed medical tests, doctor visits weekly, so no chastity device. I will not ask her to lock me up but hope she soon will, doctor visits are over for 3 weeks. How do people go on for months at a time, don't they ever have doctor appointments, or do they not care what the doctor might think? Please could you reply? Thanks

[Atone]

How do people go on for months at a time, don't they ever have doctor appointments, or do they not care what the doctor might think?

Thankfully, I don't usually go to the doctor all that often. The last time I went it was for something sinus related, no need to not wear a device. When I go for my physical I will remove it first.

As for your first question - I have never done anything like what you describe. I have however noticed when my wife is in a feisty mood (pissed off about something, usually involving a doctors office, she has to go a lot) though and encouraged her to use the cane or paddle. When I can get her to go along it usually ends up with a good session for me. Sometimes I think it helps her too. You do need to be careful though, you don't want your wife to lose touch with the reality of the current situation.

-A

[Atone]

We have been lucky to find one that works for us, basically it is:

• Her explanation of why she feels I need punishment
  My acceptance and admission of wrong doing
  The actual punishment
  Both accpeting the incident is dealt with and moving on
  Mutual re-assurance of our love and life together

Hope this helps

Thank you, yes this helps.

I am curious, can you give an example of something you might be punished for?

I really can't think of very many things that my wife would punish me for, especially if the punishment is a good whipping. I know it might be a real punishment at the time but I am pretty sure I would then crave it again (just as I do now) and I would hate to do something just to be punished. I like just being "punished" because I like it and she loves me so she does it. It would be nice if she directly benefited from it too but I don't see that happening.

-A

[freespirit]

I have been punished for being too insistant on being unlocekd and allwoed to cum.

Also not doing what I was told. She wanted me to go tothe mall with my collar on. My coat has a high collar to keep the wind out, she told me to unzip it a bit and let some of the collar show. I was afraid we might run into someone we knew or get some funny looks from others.

When unlocked not coming in the allowed time.

[celticqueens_sub]

Thank you, yes this helps.

I am curious, can you give an example of something you might be punished for?

I really can't think of very many things that my wife would punish me for, especially if the punishment is a good whipping. I know it might be a real punishment at the time but I am pretty sure I would then crave it again (just as I do now) and I would hate to do something just to be punished. I like just being "punished" because I like it and she loves me so she does it. It would be nice if she directly benefited from it too but I don't see that happening.

-A

Atone, CQ has set standrads of behaviour and respect that she expects me to achieve. if I fall below these standards too often she will take corrective action.

I would suggest that you try and draw the distinction between being puished for fun and really being punished for wrong doing. I like to be caned as it sends me into sub space and I am away with the thoughts and sensations. CQ does this becasue, like you, she knows I enjoy it and it is part of our overall love making, she gently builds these sessions from a gentle touch to more and more power in the blows giving me time to adapt and let the endorphins build.

Punishment has no such build up. The blows are swift, severe and delivered with no mercy until the punishment is complete. It is genuinely painful and NEVER pleasant at all. CQ normally administers this OTK and with a flat wooden hair brush. 3 or 4 full blows leaves me in no doubt as to the fact I have done something wrong.

CQ does not punish me every 5 mins, in fact it is quite rare and not something she enjoys at all, but she has no guilt as we have agreed behaviours and I am fully aware of the consequences, it is in my control not to be punished.

Typical transgressions are:

Dis respectful public behaviours - CQ expects every woman to be envious of my courteous behaviour to her and her friends, this is not submissive behaviour, its going to the bar, carrying the shopping, opening doors and the car doors, in old fashioned parlance, being as chivalrous as I possibly can be.

Answering her back too often - I am allowed to debate issues and family situtaions but I am not allowed to question her final decision, this is a pretty big one. This would result in immediate punishment at home or as soon as we got home. This is her major pat hate.

Making any jokes at her expense - get warnings but not many.

We also have a signal she uses in public to warn me of impending dissatisfaction with my behaviour, I get one warning, if she warns me again, that is effectively telling me punishment will be forthcoming.

The above sounds very prescriptive, but it isn't, this really works for us, the whole FLR we have has built us an incredibly strong relationship and our marriage has really benefited from this right from the day one. We had been practicing FLR whilst we were engaged.

[celticqueens_sub]

How do people go on for months at a time, don't they ever have doctor appointments, or do they not care what the doctor might think?

You just have to live in the real world sometimes. If you are going to the doctor and it is for something that is going to involve them examining your genitals you need to take the device off. They need to be able to do their job after all!

This week I have an appointment to discuss/have a vasectomy the device has to come off for that!

[Celtic Queen]

Just to add to what hub says here- I imagine you are actually craving control and attention Atone rather than "punishment" in it's strictest sense (pun intended!). I liken it to bratty child attention seeking behaviour so when I punish, it's something very, very different from play. I don't know if you follow our blog but there are a few entries on this which make the distinctions quite clear. It's my experience that men flourish with direct communication and boundaries so I make every effort to ensure that hub knows where he stands. For his part, he tells me exactly what he is feeling, yearning for and what he doesn't like. If you are misbehaving merely to get attention, you need to have a long hard think about this because you are probably making your KH unhappy just to get your own way (attention) so pull your big boy boots on and talk to her about it. It is in your power to make your KH very happy and also get your own needs met. Be very clear on what is unacceptable to her and what form punishment would be for you.

And then do all in your power to avoid it by making her happy

[Atone]

If you are misbehaving merely to get attention, you need to have a long hard think about this because you are probably making your KH unhappy just to get your own way (attention) so pull your big boy boots on and talk to her about it. It is in your power to make your KH very happy and also get your own needs met. Be very clear on what is unacceptable to her and what form punishment would be for you.

And then do all in your power to avoid it by making her happy

I don't intentionally "misbehave" at all. My goal is to make my wife happy. And to get my needs met as well. Increased communication has helped us immensely in meeting this goal.

I don't think my wife has it in her to really punish me. Maybe someday but that is a long way off. I don't know that either one of us would want that anyway. Like CQ_sub said, our dynamic is different than yours. I do appreciate your sharing though because there is overlap and a lot of the mental aspects still come in to play.

-A

[Atone]

The above sounds very prescriptive, but it isn't, this really works for us, the whole FLR we have has built us an incredibly strong relationship and our marriage has really benefited from this right from the day one. We had been practicing FLR whilst we were engaged.

Thank you. Like you mentioned in an earlier post our dynamic is rather different than yours. I do appreciate the insight though, a lot of it still plays out just in different ways.

This is some pretty advanced stuff, we are no where near where you are. We are enjoying the journey though and it is interesting to see where it is leading us.

-A

p.s. Sorry to have hijacked your thread Michael

[celticqueens_sub]

We are enjoying the journey though and it is interesting to see where it is leading us.

That my friend is the only thing that matters..