Chastity Forums

Has anyone else seen any mention of male chastity in the mainstream media? In 2001 I ran across the "Locking Up For Love" article on Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,24820,00.html). At that time I thought male chastity was about to break out into the public consciousness. However, that didn't ever seem to happen. I haven't seen anything referencing male chastity in pop culture in recent years. Has anyone else seen anything?

I saw something in 2009 that Dan Savage, the sex advice columnist, was in talks to have a TV show on HBO. Apparently, in preparation for that, there was a call out to chaste couples to share their experiences. I don't know if anything ever came of this, though. I don't watch TV but I haven't heard Dan talk about the TV show on his podcast or in his column so I am thinking the project never got off the ground.

D

I don't see it happening for a long, long time, if really ever. Five years ago, even the meager "real-life" information available about chastity was nonexistent online. The vast majority of the public still think of chastity as too bizarre, and something (publicly, anyway), they are happy to denounce. Anyone who would willingly have their penis locked up is either crazy or deviant in some form or another. Look at how the article you linked to ends:

Alexandra Myles, a Massachusetts-based couples and sex therapist who has worked with clients who have used the belts, was less amused by the chastity-belt renaissance.

"As part and parcel of S&M play they can heighten the level of frustration and excitement," Myles said. "But it's not a healthy way to ensure fidelity in a couple. As a matter of fact, it's a pretty sick way."

This just perpetuates the stereotype that chastity and S&M are linked. Either way, neither is something that "normal" couples engage in. She may have been saying that a chastity device is not the best way to promote fidelity, which of course it isn't. But that gets overlooked by the 'pretty sick' quote. Just the kind of thing that scares vanilla wives and makes men who are interested in chastity feel like there must be something 'wrong' with them for having that interest.

The way the quote is worded, if not her entire comment, is frankly offensive.

Is the mainstream media ever accepting of anything having to do with sex that is beyond the range of "missionary position intercourse between married couples"? I don't think so. Look how up in arms people get about same-sex marriage which implies anal sex (gasp!) between men. I saw a survey somewhere that said that not all gay men have anal intercourse and as a matter of fact, lots of heterosexual couples do. Of course in that article, everyone (gay and het) was dismissed as being weird.

I think the best option for sympathetic coverage is going to come from someone like Dan Savage who is very accepting of kinks, fetishes, and alternative lifestyles. Don't know who else would do a good job. Even Dear Prudence is a bit of a prude.

D

Dev,
Wow, I hadn't heard about that potential episode on Dan Savage's show. I have seen stuff online by Dan Savage about male chastity, though: (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=20932)

Billus,
I agree that it will take a long time for the public to "get it." They will always want to jump to the conclusion that the chastity crowd are freaks and, what's worse, unhealthy. But, that said, why aren't there more of those mischaracterizations out there? If you watch CSI or Law & Order (or any other crime drama) for ten minutes you'll be bombarded with a litany of fetishes from infantilism to necrophilia, stuff that's way out there. Femdom, BDSM, and the whip cracking dominatrix are absolute favorites that these shows just keep coming back to. So why skip over male chastity? It seems strange to me. It seems like these shows could get miles and miles of coverage out of the topic, even if they are distorting or downright mocking the lifestyle.

I don't think it's considered popular enough to warrant that kind of interest, and as I suggested, it's usually seen as a subcategory of S & M, much like CBT or wax play, etc. The whip-cracking Dominatrix is a much more overt symbol of 'deviant behaviour'. Plus it gets a chance to show some usually attractive women in leather gear. CSI isn't about to show some guy who looks like us with a slightly odd bulge in his pants.

I blogged about Dan Savage:

http://devotedlvr.wordpress.com/2010/09 ... an-savage/

In that article you referenced, I think Dr. Pavlovich is grasping at straws with his Peyronie's possibilities. Like he said, no knows what causes it. It almost reads like he was asked to provide an opinion and had to come up with something, no matter how farfetched it might be. Since most men have never even heard of Peyronie's until they are diagnosed with it, it's a pretty safe thing to say, "Well you might get this if you wear a chastity device..." because the vast majority of people don't have any basis to refute the statement.

CSI isn't about to show some guy who looks like us with a slightly odd bulge in his pants.

But then when the pants come off, all viewers are glued to their tv sets in horrified fascination!!

D

Dev wrote:It almost reads like he was asked to provide an opinion and had to come up with something, no matter how farfetched it might be.

That's what happens when you talk to the press. They have a very limited number of hours to get things written, and once they have an 'expert' on the phone, they want to get all their bases covered. If the 'expert' hasn't had good training on how to deal with the press, you can get all sorts of odd answers.

BTW, we saw a CB-[2|3]000 on Graham Norton one night. He of course was making fun of it, like he makes fun of everything.

Back in June 2008 I ran a piece from the Salt Lake (Utah) Tribune on the AL Enterprises company. That was pretty mainstream at the time.

BTW, the business is now run by their daughter, Christi. I'm *really* trying to figure out how they would have explained this.

I'm more optimistic about it becoming mainstream, or at least less "freaky" in the next 20 years. Almost any sex shop you walk into now will have a CB-xxxx or a birdlocked on the shelf. Haven't literally MILLIONS of them been sold? They're out there, and people are using them. Perhaps only in the privacy of their bedrooms, and they're not talking about it, but they're using them.

I imagine there will be Real Sex episodes discussing it on HBO, if there haven't already. I imagine it'll get more discussion in places like Dan Savage's column, etc.

Also, I think things like Fetlife and forums like this site are a HUGE help. LOTS of people in my local region have "Orgasm Denial" listed as a kink, even if they don't list chastity. I also think fetish and BDSM is becoming more mainstream. 20 years ago, BDSM wasn't even DISCUSSED. Now, Dan Savage routinely has callers who say they're into it. I think kids dating today are not shocked to hear a potential partner is into BDSM. It's a short stretch from there to chastity play... perhaps even shorter than to BDSM in the first place!

Will chastity play be completely commonplace in 5 years? No. But, every day more people hear about it. As time marches on, the mention of chastity belts will stop bringing visions of medieval torture devices, and start bringing visions of "that plastic thing the boy I dated in college liked to wear".

20 years from now, I think chastity play will be as widely accepted in the bedroom as vibrators and butt plugs are now. Some will still think they're naughty, but many will feel they're just another toy in the drawer for a hot date.

That's my crystal ball!
mikecb