Chastity Forums

I enjoy playing with chastity with my girlfriend, and definitely get turned on thinking about it. But I also get an occasional bout of the "jitters" -- sort of a feeling of, "wow, what a weirdo I am to want this." Especially after cumming, which I understand isn't really abnormal, but sometimes even during stretches of chastity. A few weeks ago I was doing a stretch locked up, and got really self-conscious about the cb for a couple of days before it came off. I knew no one else knew about it or could see it at all really, but just being out doing day-to-day stuff with it on made me feel, well, weird about having it on. Part of the result of that was refusing to go back in when she wanted me to.

I know communication is a big part of things, and I'm working on telling her how I feel and being sensitive to her needs as well, but -- do you get to feeling weird when locked? How do you deal?

curiouscat83 wrote:but just being out doing day-to-day stuff with it on made me feel, well, weird about having it on.

In the beginning it was like that a lot.

curiouscat83 wrote:but -- do you get to feeling weird when locked? How do you deal?

not too often anymore, it really is my new normal. Once I got comfortable that no one could / would notice it became a lot easier. I don't worry anymore about bulges or anything.

These are normal feelings. One thing you want to be careful about is sending her mixed signals. Most gfs willing to play are not going to be quite as emotionally invested as the guy is when it comes to chastity or other kinks. If she is trying to do something that you want her to do (at least in the big picture) but you send her a mixed signal (out of jitters) she may feel like she was rebuffed when she went out of her way to please you. To some extent, you have to prepare yourself mentally and press your way through your jitters if you want to keep building on this, and you can't expect her to make you do anything. Try to keep the big picture in mind---be encouraging and grateful when she does what you like.

Two things about people: everybody is weird (you have seen the internet, right?), and nobody really cares about what anybody else is doing.

You are lucky your girlfriend enjoys your kink with you. Talk to her, she will provide you with the reassurance you need when you are feeling vulnerable.

Personally, I feel weirdest at the very beginning. After a short time, I settle in as "normal".

Regarding your girlfriend, by all means do make sure to express to her your appreciation for indulging your kink. We're weird! Also, chastity can make us moody, and also pent up hormones can literally change the way we think and act. Not all of those changes end up being easy on our partners. So, take the time to express your gratitude when you can!

Best of luck!
mikecb

Whatever misgivings I have had about being shackled; despite her growing aptitude I still wouldn't be confident enough (even after a year) to refuse outright.

I've requested a 'stay of execution' a few times (mostly not getting one) and on one occasion literally ran out the house to avoid being given the key before a day out. I've given her back the key with tears in my eyes only to be told to 'Stop snivelling' - for me it's all part of the game.

How did your KH deal with your refusal?

Look, I've been doing this since... well, a long time, and once in a while even I still feel weird about it.

It's okay. Just remember to talk to her about it once in a while, if only to get reassurance from her that she doesn't find it (too) weird. Because, you know, it's only the two of you that you need to worry about.

Tom Allen wrote:
It's okay. Just remember to talk to her about it once in a while, if only to get reassurance from her that she doesn't find it (too) weird. Because, you know, it's only the two of you that you need to worry about.

This. Both Jnuts and i go through times where we think that some of the stuff that we do is weird, whether it be chastity, pegging, you name it. But as long as we are both comfortable with it, that is all that matters. We joke that it is our security blanket for our relationship. We would not cheat on each other, someone else would think we were way to weird

Lol @ Poor

All excellent advice from the boys as ever - as they say, watch for those mixed messages to your girlfriend. You will need to do a bit of filtering before you communicate in terms of not wanting to go back in- consider carefully what you say and don't just blurt out. Don't forget, she might be feeling weird about keeping you in a device too and could be put off more easily than you would like. Expect to feel reluctant after orgasm- there are certainly enough threads on here for you to get a realistic picture of how the chastity cycle actually works in the real world. Don't over communicate that reluctance to her because when keyholding starts to become burdensome and the KH feels like they have suddenly become some figure of authority to rail against- you'll get your key back and join the ranks of the disappointed guys who blew it.

If my hub's experience is anything to go by, you'll soon get to the point that you'll feel weird when you are out of the device. Sales in the CB6000 are brisk for a good reason- you may not be as weird as you think

Thanks for all the great advise! My gf took it very well, I have to say; we talked about it for a while, and we're both pretty good. I've been locked up for a day now, and will be for a while longer as we sort of get back in the swing of things. Onward and upward, as they say