Chastity contract....!?

[Caged55]

I guess "HER" writing a contract will not happen, she is already in control, and chastity is no longer "my" game, but rather her accepted lifestyle and a sense of expectancy has crept in that I will be chaste and accept that this is the way she wants our relationship to progress... ultimately she is in charge by our mutual agreement and I guess we maintain an unspoken contract in which I obey and submit to her, and permanent chastity is no longer a option but a "expected" requirement she imposes and ultimately enforces.
I guess her "will" to dominate and lead our relationship is stronger than any contract - just would have been nice to know exactly where I stand insttead of having to suck it up and not ask, beg, or request anything to do with release in case she disapproves and extends my possible release or orgasm by a week or 2/3/4 ...

[Allmylife4her]

Contracts fall in the realm of fantasy as far as I figured out and can cause a lot of stress for both sides. I say enjoy preparing one but in the long term you don't need one.

[DarqKnight]

We use the word agreement since a contract in this instance is not in any way enforceable. I believe people think it sounds official or scary or whatever. The agreement is nothing more than expectations we have for each other. Operational guidelines and negotiated limits. If its not written, then we need to discuss it. I consider myself a honorable person so for me, I considered whether or not I could keep true to all that I would be agreeing to. While I did the initial draft, we had several editing dinners to make sure that her input was included. She asked plenty of questions seeking clarity of terms or expectations. When we did sign, we were both invested in it. There were no surprises.

Here is a link > https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1sU88 ... sp=sharing < to the document if interested. I generalized it and removed our names.

[Caged55]

Thank you DarqKnight... KH thinks its a great starting point. While its not enforcable legally it certainly is enforcable within the "expectations" of the relationship, and it forms a point where both parties agree... i wonder how much negotiation you where able to do...?

[DarqKnight]

Caged55 . . . I'm glad it helped. The negotiation happens along the way as you both become more comfortable with the process and build a rhythm. While she never refused to participate in kinky activities before, chastity and OD was well outside the realm of her initial comfort level. No kidding after reading one book by Sarah Jameson and a couple weeks of testing the waters, she was all in. As her comfort level grows, so does her confidence. She is doing a lot of her own research and suggesting changes to the agreement and standard operating procedure. Of course not everyone can or will be convinced to participate :{>

[lockedsteve]

Generally I have been against contracts when starting chastity. My reason is that they tend to be confining when we should be trying new things often. It is a pain to keep amending them. I signed off on a chastity contract this morning. The reason is that after almost two years, we know what works for both of us and we wanted to put it down on paper or pixels so that we do not forget which is common at our age.

The main points are:

- Number of orgasms per year which we negotiated at two.
- I will always stay locked with no need to be asked or to be checked.
- Cleaning of my penis will be prior to my shower so that I can be locked up during the shower without supervision. Those loofahs start looking hot after a few months.
- I will always wear panties and a bra during sex. OOPS Just re-read the contract and wife can have me wear these at any time she wants. Last time I went for an eye exam my bra strap kept slipping down and I had to get creative figuring out how to push it back up and look natural about it.
- No oral and intercourse for any reason during sex or release. My penis will not be used by her other than to humiliate and tease. That is a sexual preference thing for my bi wife.
- I cannot touch my wife's sexual parts without asking for permission first. She hates when I get all horny and paw here all day.
- Stated that our chastity sex life does not carry over into our married life since I am the dominant one in the family. Of course there will be some overlap since I am locked all the time but I am only submissive in bed.
- Wife will tease me at least once a week
- List of things she may do to me during sex
- Escape clauses to allow my wife some leeway as she sees fit
- Agree that my wife may give me ruined orgasms at her discretion and if she does I am to eat all of my semen from anyplace it lands or I get a month added to my next chastity period.
- Provided guidelines for punishment. Basically hard caning for serious offenses and a paddling for less severe. Also allows for adding up to thee months to my sex month chastity period.
- Listed non corporal punishments for annoying my wife about sex. Provides for time outs, cold showers, gagging and similar.
- Outlined types of sexual teasing during sex which goes from edging to just watching my wife masturbate. It is up to her.
- Listed in general terms the type of humiliation I will accept and a statement that no humiliation will cause me public humiliation or violation of law.
- Address my wife as Ma'am
- Punishment for rolling my eyes or other silent display of dislike for anything she says concerning my chastity.
- Provides for something we have done a few times that make my wife the envy of her friends. She can declare any social event as a teasing session. She will tell me ahead of time to volunteer to set and clear the table and fetch my wife whatever she asked for. She will ask politely and thank me every time. No D/s stuff, just an attentive husband and good house guest.
- Last but the most negotiated thing is permission to tell other women, no men, about my chastity. I was against it but it was a concession for some other things in the contract. I do not think she will tell anyone but she could. It is a nice threat to make me toe the line.

[locked4her55]

Generally I have been against contracts when starting chastity. My reason is that they tend to be confining when we should be trying new things often. It is a pain to keep amending them. I signed off on a chastity contract this morning.

For someone who thinks they are a pain, you sure have a hell of a contract there.

[lockedsteve]

Generally I have been against contracts when starting chastity. My reason is that they tend to be confining when we should be trying new things often. It is a pain to keep amending them. I signed off on a chastity contract this morning.

For someone who thinks they are a pain, you sure have a hell of a contract there.

It is 6 pages long but it is more a list of things we have agreed to do in the previous year and a half. The only new thing is no more oral. We are old and we forget a lot of things so we wrote them down as a reference since we were always forgetting things. This "contract" ends each section with a clause "or as the Wife wishes". So my wife can follow the list or do whatever she wishes. This allows for going outside of the box if we want to. At least it will prevent me from being punished for what I thought was OK.

[Michele]

We had a pretty good contact in the beginning and wee needed it. It helped with getting things going and staying on track... Almost 2 years later and we haven't seen that thing in awhile haha

I fully think they are a great place for newbies to start out.

Thanks for bringing this up, I need to write a post about it!