locked and forgot?

[TwistedMister]

I have a purely vanilla wife who wants nothing to do with my interest in chastity. I am in it mostly because it feels good, really, really good.

Also shyguy has a similar situation.

I think most of us start in this way. It had to be a year, maybe two before C took is as a necessary thing for us.
A year for her to belive the difference in behavior was real and not an act, another for her to work out how to take advantage of it.
Coming up to three years now and what started as my kink and my way to get something out of this has become very much about what C wants out of it.
Some would say I'm used and taken advantage of. I say I'm managed in a much better way and the improvement to quality of life speaks for itself.
I have a mountain of respect for C for doing this.
C still thinks wearing a cage is odd or weird as in "they don't sell them in asda so they ain't normal". But when asked if I should give it up? "Hell No. It isn't up to you any more. "
Things progress slowly. Very slowly.

I love reading about how your 'journey' has progressed. It is so much different now than it was in the beginning.

[cagedape]

I totally agree with Lady M…
Locked and forgotten is something most guys can’t handle. Men need “attention” (more often than not) to keep their “drive” alive.
There would be a point of “diminishing return” if just left alone.

This is absolutely true in my experience. If there is no attention whatsoever then the sexual drive drops at a point. Teasing is necessary to keep that alive and well so I think a totally hands off approach will not work out for either party. Chastity definitely requires attention and work in my opinion, it's not a lazy option.

[testingthewaters]

I absolutely agree with the general consensus here. I've been lucky enough to have had some chastity experiences play out in my post-divorce dating world, and it absolutely has not worked for me when being locked and forgotten. It's not solely about the restriction of chastity, it's the mutual enjoyment of the situation that is what works for me. Talk and tease and all nurtures and sustains this dynamic and keeps me highly engaged, while being locked and forgotten has lead me to feel like I was about to crack up (and not in that fun super-overstimulated way). I find being locked and forgotten very lonely, and it makes me feel like the whole chastity thing is just foolish while it's happening.

[CagedKC]

Little comments and touches of a sexual nature from your key holder are important to keep the frustration in the pleasure zone. Zero attention/validation is very effective as a punishment. The more my key holder teases, the easier it is to tolerate longer lock ups.

[SteveOD]

My wife is a locked and forget kind of gal and that is what I like. She shared her girlfriend with me for 30 years and no feels that she she not only included me when she had sex with her GF but also allowed me unlimited sex time with her GF. My wife never cared who I had sex with anyway because she knew I would never leave her.

Now she feels that I do not deserve anymore sex since I had more than most men do. She feels it is her time to have sex or not and she was clear that she prefers to masturbate alone. I told her it was OK but to punch me in the balls or slap my face and spit in my mouth once in awhile just to know you care. I cannot get hard. My penis is too small to have intercourses and have not done so in over 20 years. No oral for the last few years and none to come in the future either. My wife is bi and loves me over women for everything but sex. She is not a penis or semen fan. She is a gently make love fan like the sex she had with her girlfriend. I was the first man to have sex with her when she was 19. She never even had an orgasm or masturbated. Stick alcoholic father who thought it was OK to beat his family members hard enough to put them in the hospital but heaven help them if they had sex prior to marriage. Now the was terrible apparently.

She likes to hear me moan in pain. Makes her orgasm faster and harder plus more multiple orgasms too. I have a few hoods both Lycra and leather. This way she does not feel self conscious of her aged body so she can enjoy her orgasms with her vibrator more. Plus it is easier to sexually torture someone when they do not look like your husband.

In any event. I want a lock and forget but as often happens, my wife wants to make me cum just to make sure she still has it in her too do so. She is in charge so I have no say and just let her do what she wants. I had over 2,000 threesomes. Most with my wife and her girlfriend but also prior to getting married I lived with a rich model looking guy who had girls over every weekend and lots of group sex. They were orgies. I am hoping to never orgasm again or at least not by my wife's hand and not by mine??????? So I like lock and forget. Not much use for sex unless it is fetish sex.

[Xileh]

This is an older post, but is such a common concern. I would ask two questions:

1. While you are locked, are there other displays of affection; hugging, kissing, etc. unrelated to kink. Just your normal peck on the cheek in the kitchen? If you answer yes, it is likely she is just not interested in chastity, but the relationship is probably healthy.

2. If you had never gotten involved with chastity, would your situation be different? If you answer no, you may have other issues to explore. Chastity is unlikely to help. In fact, chastity generally is most successful when layered onto a strong relationship.

Your answer may help you understand the root of your problem.

[Karens_sissy]

My wife originally only got excited about me being locked up when she had the opportunity to expose me to her girlfriends. She would get a sparkle in her eyes and she would pull my pants down to show them me locked in various chastity device. Her 7 girl friends loved it and that support from her girl friends seemed to help her desire. She admitted it did little for her and I was mostly just ignored. Then she discovered cuckolding and how she could have sex with other men while keeping my locked up. Thats when she finally got into it and now I am lucky to get a handjob once a month. I have been kepted pussy free for over 8 years now.

[Dogtanian69]

I get teased every single day, every night when I go to
Sleep, my Wife squeezes and teases my balls before pushing Her knee hard against my balls as we cuddle and go to sleep. In the morning I wake up to take my meds about an hour before She does and I snuggle Her with my cage against Her ass, which is a HUGE turn on for me. When She does wake up She teases my caged cock and my balls until it’s time to get up. I bring Her to orgasm daily, either with my tongue or fingers and every now and again She’ll milk my prostate with either pegging or another toy. I can’t imagine being in a relationship with anyone who just wouldn’t touch me at all. I can’t fathom why anyone would.

[Mr Pickle]

Maybe she needs an incentive or a goal?
I've set up challenges and games with prizes that get her attention (like shopping or spending money).
It makes it more of a game. A bit more exciting for her.

[Curiousrk]

I find it easy to feel locked and forgot. But I also find it easy to stop trying to pursue my wife / KH. When we continue to explore chastity and role play various pieces of it together it’s a lot of fun. Had a role play scenario recently that was great. It took all day to fully complete. I wrote a detailed play by play about it to go back and read it and recall the day of fun that it was.