Another great night and day as my godess stephanie's sexual slave .
Still nervous about the amount of control ive given up for the next 6 months to my godess and girlfriend stephanie but comfortable with it too. At same time eager to give her the control she has been craving and i guess the control she didnt know she was craving as well. I say didnt know she was craving because it turns out to more she gets to do the more she is finding she really gets turned on by a part of this whole Femdom world she didnt even know she was into. And is now surpised at herself about how freaking hot she gets just thinking about it .
The once feared chastity cage is now becoming something i can honestly say is missed when not wearing it . I dont miss the hassle of it binding , pinching, or just needing a little lube here and there but i miss the snug and constant reminder of my committment to myself and stephanie.
Apparently we used the wrong lube on my holy trainer when playing the other night and it soften the material and the cage ended up shitfing its shape and becoming to painful to continue wearing .
After the long wait for us to get here because i took a long time to decide i could do this, to the slower than slow shipping , to the agonizing long wait from when we received it to stephanie actually taking the step of becoming a godess over me and locking it on the forst day after a day or two of both of us learning how much we both are surprised by how much we like our roles in this part of our relationship and sexlife the cage malfunctions!!
I cant catch a break i guess even when submitting to the one i love .
However with some boiling water and the use of a drill, small nut and bolt i repaired and modified the trainer and was able too put it back where it belongs l, on me and locked.
It has been great talking stuff over with my godess and honesrly telling her how it makes me freel and how it makes every thought i have about her and pleasing her. In doing so letting her know what things trigger me so she knows in advance and can use that to her full advantage. I got to worshilp her lastnight and it was great , now that i fixed up the cage with hot water and bolt trick, I found myself excited that i fixed it and was able to wear it and be totally comfortable, better than when new out the box ..
I told stephanie right away about my excitement of being to a point where the cage might not be a hindrance at all now and i could actually give her full time lock up except when she has me out of it for her fun..
Funny how now im excited to be able to give her this much more control considering where i started not sure if i could give into my submissive side and add the chasity cage element of it . So late day i use some lotion and decided it could double as lube and after i put it on i realized it might have glycerin in too. Read bottle and of course it did so i washed off real quick.. it was towards the end of a very hot and enlightening night of sex with my godess in my cage when it started to hurt so bad that i had to break down and ask my godess to remove me from it .. we discovered that that lotion was enough to distort the cage again and it was causing my sack to become really bunched up . I figure some more modifications were in order . So i fixed it again and when running errands while my godess was at a job i tried put my cage on because i felt i should if i could .. turns out it was cracked and out of commission.
I was very surprised at how disappointed i was that i wasnt able to lock myself down and feel that i was where i am supposed to be . In a short time between getting the cage and my commitment to give my best commitment to try chastity, and seeing stephanie's excitement to get something that is turning her on way more than expected im finding myself wanting to be comfortable yes but more importantly locked by stephanie and not just when having fun or when convenient. I want to feel her grip around my cock and know she is my only avenue to realease. Well anyways thats the big speed bump we ran into today.
Cage broken and us left without one for the foreseeable futire when we both were really just finding ourselfs moving forward and now back in a holding pattern again .
But i did mention we had an enlightened night of sex.
It was incredible again of course. While giving myself over to her wants and pleasures i got to see her body reacting to her new found power and it is reallysomething else to see and feel.
. My cage stay on the entire time that she enjoy herself and only at the very end when cage cause us to stop and remove it . I was oddly ok with not cuming and not getting out of cage and just seeing her being pleased and happy . But now sitting on edge of bed with no cage on stephanie decided to put some lotion on my boys since they were a bit dry and i instantly was begging her to just stroke me a little bit. Without chasity involved i always been amazed at how much i just love to feel her take me in her hands .. so now after lock up and seeing her becoming more of the godess she wants to be couldn't help it . Fuck it !! Time for some legit begging !! and she did.. next i begged to be edged and she did that as well i wasn't looking to get an orgasm but just wanted to feel her work me over with her hand and stop short like she had planned .. ok so now we had just discussed that if i cum without permission i get a 25 stroke pladling to teach me her permission is not just some femdim game to make thing more exciting . We agreed that a real paddling that is to gain both of us respect for the rules and the enforcement of them was the only fair way to both of us .
As she was stroking my cock i asked her if she was trying to make me cum or what becausse it was at a fever pitch and getting to point of no return fast. I think i heard a maybe from her . I said by the look in your eyes im thinking you are now liking idea of forcing to fail so can punishment me .. i said to her " let me guess this will be one of those things that will probably make you cum when you finally do it "? She said yes it would be and stroked me super fast and hard . Thats one of those things she wasnt really into for the most part but now the thoight of it is seriously turning her on .
Hearing that got me super hard real fast and i begged her to stop !!! She didnt !! I had to physically sit up and push her hands off me before i exploded. Good thing i was restrained . I barely made it in time .
But i did learn that godess stephanie thinks she will cum from paddling me for punishment and that she did learn/read that she cant just say she will punish me and when i fail not do it because it undermines the dom sub dynamic. I also learned that the fear of the spanking which is real and not something i want but understand the need for was over ridden with the thought of her cumming from doing it, i Involuntarily got crazy hard and was ready to orgasm immediately before i could even process it .
Im glad i was able to stop her before i found myself recieving my first punishment spaking. Or was i ? With getting so close but denied i was still very much aroused and in a deep submissive mind set and now the thought of having to submit to the spanking seemed hot .
I know the reality of the spanking aint going to be so arousing when my godess strikes my ass with purpose .
New cages are on there way now, express shipping .
Stopped and got stephanie some new and her first pair ever platform high heels that has her standing 6 in taller than me ( hot ) feeling really sexy (hot and excited for her ) and with those shoes with her chaps she looks so sexy i instantly want to kneel for her
So we made a new rule. if i can see those shoes i need to get naked and go kneel in front of her ..
I can definitely see her feeling more empowered wearing the shoes . Like she said sometimes the clothing makes the man .
We both are excited where this is going in our own messed up ways .
Lots of good honest conversation is helping it happen ..
And not being confined to what so much of the literature says are absolutes must do or never do..
Until next time.
Later
