A study of what abruptly stopping chastity looks like…
After six years (pushing nearly seven) of being in a cage and having to rely on my wife to decide when or if I would orgasm, it all stopped. “Why don’t you put that away for a while?” I was disappointed but knew she struggled with ‘kinky stuff’ so I did as I was told and put the cage away. It was also a season of frequent business travel where metal detectors and thousands of miles separate us.
Three and half months later, it hasn’t been mentioned by either of us and I have watched as a very interested party how things changed.
My wife and I are both sliding into the back end of our 50’s so sex isn’t as frequent as it once was but we enjoy it when it happens. I firmly believe she could orgasm once every 90 days and be perfectly satisfied, she has never had a huge sex drive nor has she had interest in going beyond vanilla activities. While I am happy to go every 2-3 days and ideally I want some intimacy at least a couple times a week.
There is a disparity between a man and woman, I know you’re all shocked.
Since the cage has been removed I have rapidly reverted back to the old ways and self pleasuring when it gets to a point where I just don’t want to wait anymore. Oddly, I seem to frequently go solo the day after we are together, maybe from the fresh memories or a testosterone hit, I’m not sure. I don’t brag about it but it has come up that there are times when I’m horny and yep, I handle it. Not having the stamina of a 20 year old means I have to be thoughtful to time my escapades so I am ready when she is likely to want sex. Several weeks back I planned things poorly and she offered me very one-sided sex in the form of a hand job – It took a lot of effort to get me there. No, I didn’t tell her I’d gone solo recently which is why it was taking so long.
Having being caged for so long and seeing the benefits of chastity for our relationship, I know the spiral this creates. I’ve make concerted efforts to ‘do anything else’ when I go it alone but I keep falling into masturbation cycles because the draw is constant.
These past couple of weeks, I have felt the pull of the dark side and made a conscious effort to stay away. I would eventually get relief with her in the picture somehow, we would be intimate as a couple – it’ll be fine. The weekend arrived and nothing happened. Valentine’s Day arrived and nothing happened. Well, I did get a pat on the backside with her acknowledging that I was always ready for sex but then nothing.
Letting her take the lead just isn’t working since she doesn’t think about sex. She just doesn’t. What she does do is worry about me, cater to me and try to take care of my needs. It’s one of the reasons I married her, just sheer selflessness. If I ask her, she is usually willing to participate or make things one-sided for my benefit. It isn’t her willingness to play, it just isn’t on her top 20 things to do.
My journey of the last 6+ years taught me that I can actually be happy with being denied orgasm as long as I get the intimacy. I’m probably happier being denied because I’m eager to do something (anything, PLEASE!) a half hour later. Once I orgasm, well we all know the hormones in play and why we become brooding loners for a while. I feel like I have been a brooding loner since the cage was put away.
Both are parents are quite elderly so there is stress in both of our lives worrying about them. Thankfully our kids are self-sufficient and all have good heads on their shoulders. Our relationship is solid and we care about each other more than ourselves which is how it ought to be. Here I am stamping my feet on the floor and screaming, “wah! I don’t want to cum!”
There are bigger issues in life than anything I’ve brought up here yet I see the decline of our parents and recognize our own mortality every time I try to walk down a set of stairs. I don’t want to look back and wish I had lived my life differently.
So the pay off… what has happened since we stopped practicing chastity?
I feel more distant despite all she does. We have much less frequent intimacy. She has very infrequent orgasms because I’m not begging to lick her every other day. I masturbate much as I did in the past only now I feel bad about it because I know how it could be. A conversation needs to happen between us and I need to do that sooner than later.
When I started learning about male chastity, it would become a lifestyle that I would never want to escape only to mourn when I did. BCWYWF.