BLUF. It was lovely and I felt loved.
My hands were tied to the bed posts. It was clear that the evening was going to be about me. There was a good amount of turn on and then I was allowed to cum.
Had I been the planner for the evening it's true that I would have focused on different aspects. Maybe that's worth saying - maybe not. I probably would have been more conscious of the ambiance. I might have been more concerned with costuming. Maybe I would have had a bit more variability. I would likely have reached for more toys. Yet, even as I recognize these things I'm really doing my level best to ignore them because what I got was a fully invested and love focused wife. And that's more important.
Tullygirl was there in that moment and chose to make me the center of it. Rather than being bored with the idea of making love, she chose to engage and to speak my love language. I was blessed.
_____________________________________
Following our love making, we continued a chastity discussion that we had been having all afternoon. What do we do after a month of denial? We had identified 3 ways of moving forward from this day.
1. We can stay as we are; me a chaste husband and her the keyholder.
2. We can exchange rolls.
3. We can go back.
In the afterglow of our coupling, we laid against the pillows and continued the discussion.
Number one was definitely an option. But one of the things that I crave is variety. And Tullygirl gets tired carrying the whole load after a while.
Number two, we decided, isn't really viable. I can play both top and bottom rolls with alacrity. Tullygirl, on the other hand, really bristles at being sub. We tried T&D with her on bottom a few years back and it was a disaster. She ended up angry at me, intentionally breaking rules while pretending to be playing. It wasn't a good thing for either of us.
Number three. We're pretty good at number three. Been practicing for over 30 years. Maybe through chastity she has learned more about speaking love to me. Maybe I have learned to be more content - reducing my need to manipulate our sexuality.
In the end we went with door number three. Tullygirl was quick to point out that we can go back to chastity at any time, to which I responded in true Braveheart fashion, "FREEDOM!"
The next morning I rolled over as we woke up and grabbed her breast - because I could. We both laughed.
[Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
"Have you put yourself into chastity?" Tullygirl after a week-long lack of intimacy. She had relinquished her orgasm authority and it was now allowable for me to initiate sex - but I hadn't.
The answer was "No, not exactly." I wasn't caged and I wasn't intentionally avoiding sex. But I also wasn't trying to shoe-horn sex into our daily lives. It was a busy week with a lot of traveling and children's activities and so the week had flown by and days ended by falling asleep exhausted. We could have had sex, and I was cleared to suggest it, but it would have been 'just-to-cum' sex. Chastity has taught me that not cumming can be a lot more fulfilling than 'just-to-cum' sex.
So I hadn't put myself into chastity, but I have also learned things from the experience that look a lot like it.
The answer was "No, not exactly." I wasn't caged and I wasn't intentionally avoiding sex. But I also wasn't trying to shoe-horn sex into our daily lives. It was a busy week with a lot of traveling and children's activities and so the week had flown by and days ended by falling asleep exhausted. We could have had sex, and I was cleared to suggest it, but it would have been 'just-to-cum' sex. Chastity has taught me that not cumming can be a lot more fulfilling than 'just-to-cum' sex.
So I hadn't put myself into chastity, but I have also learned things from the experience that look a lot like it.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
Hello, friends!
TullyGirl and I have spent the last months in a quiet and pleasant simmer. I decided somewhere along the way that I would continue to use TullyGirl’s labido as the tempo for our love life whether she was my keyholder or not.
My stated goal all along has been to reduce my selfishness. I think that has been mostly successful. As Key Barrett identifies in “Locked In Love”, I feel like I’ve come away from the barter system and just allowed our sex life to flow naturally. If you haven’t read Key Barrett’s book, I definitely recommend it. It’s not for the hard-core crowd but a vanilla wife and a moderately kinky husband will definitely appreciate this well written book.
Recently, I brought up the possibility of turning up the heat for a time. What would it look like to return to keyholding? Since I’ve continued to be self-locked on and off over the months it won’t be much of a change for me, but for TullyGirl it will mean an additional mental burden. So, this time around I approached it in a much slower way. I’ve made sure to get her entire buy in.
In our most recent exchange I said, “I’ve really been hoping to be dominated by a benevolent DOM.”
Her response? “Oh, I’ll dominate you!”
TullyGirl comes home from a work trip this week. We won’t start right way but will probably have another discussion or two and then if she’s really ready to go I’ll hand over the key. Can you tell that I’m trying to defer to her in a very patient way?
The truth is, I’m also protecting myself. I don't want to hand over the key to someone who won’t take it seriously. But I think that she’s ready. I needn’t be scared. Honestly, I’m just thankful.
TullyGirl and I have spent the last months in a quiet and pleasant simmer. I decided somewhere along the way that I would continue to use TullyGirl’s labido as the tempo for our love life whether she was my keyholder or not.
My stated goal all along has been to reduce my selfishness. I think that has been mostly successful. As Key Barrett identifies in “Locked In Love”, I feel like I’ve come away from the barter system and just allowed our sex life to flow naturally. If you haven’t read Key Barrett’s book, I definitely recommend it. It’s not for the hard-core crowd but a vanilla wife and a moderately kinky husband will definitely appreciate this well written book.
Recently, I brought up the possibility of turning up the heat for a time. What would it look like to return to keyholding? Since I’ve continued to be self-locked on and off over the months it won’t be much of a change for me, but for TullyGirl it will mean an additional mental burden. So, this time around I approached it in a much slower way. I’ve made sure to get her entire buy in.
In our most recent exchange I said, “I’ve really been hoping to be dominated by a benevolent DOM.”
Her response? “Oh, I’ll dominate you!”
TullyGirl comes home from a work trip this week. We won’t start right way but will probably have another discussion or two and then if she’s really ready to go I’ll hand over the key. Can you tell that I’m trying to defer to her in a very patient way?
The truth is, I’m also protecting myself. I don't want to hand over the key to someone who won’t take it seriously. But I think that she’s ready. I needn’t be scared. Honestly, I’m just thankful.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
Reunion night. TullyGirl came home via a long day of travel; she was in good spirits but exhausted. After an incredible Mediterranean meal shared with family, we retired to bed.
I was wearing new underwear: SAXX. They’re very comfortable. She was wondering whether I was locked and grabbed for my crotch at first chance. I was. I am. Right now I control it.
“I like them,” she smiled.
She, on the other hand, wore flannel jammies and her keyholder shirt. When I asked if that was on purpose. I got another smile... “Yep”.
A few kisses later and my spidey sense was tingling. She wasn’t into it. She was dog tired.
“I think that it’s just time for bed,” I suggested.
She replied, “But it’s been so long; are you sure? I could just do you.”
“What’s another day or two,” I assured her.
A weak smile and she put her head on my chest and drifted to sleep.
I was wearing new underwear: SAXX. They’re very comfortable. She was wondering whether I was locked and grabbed for my crotch at first chance. I was. I am. Right now I control it.
“I like them,” she smiled.
She, on the other hand, wore flannel jammies and her keyholder shirt. When I asked if that was on purpose. I got another smile... “Yep”.
A few kisses later and my spidey sense was tingling. She wasn’t into it. She was dog tired.
“I think that it’s just time for bed,” I suggested.
She replied, “But it’s been so long; are you sure? I could just do you.”
“What’s another day or two,” I assured her.
A weak smile and she put her head on my chest and drifted to sleep.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
A while back I joined a band. And for the first time on stage, I played while locked. That was a rush in a lot of ways.
Well today was band practice and towards the end I had to excuse myself to use the restroom. I was feeling buzzy in my nether regions. Sure enough, when I peed I also let-down cum. I returned home after practice with a cum stain in my nickers.
For me it feels like a mini ruined orgasm and requires no extra stimulation beyond just wearing my device. Let-down doesn’t usually manifest itself until after a few weeks of being locked and denied. It’s been about 2-1/2. I kinda like getting to this point just because of that feeling.
Well today was band practice and towards the end I had to excuse myself to use the restroom. I was feeling buzzy in my nether regions. Sure enough, when I peed I also let-down cum. I returned home after practice with a cum stain in my nickers.
For me it feels like a mini ruined orgasm and requires no extra stimulation beyond just wearing my device. Let-down doesn’t usually manifest itself until after a few weeks of being locked and denied. It’s been about 2-1/2. I kinda like getting to this point just because of that feeling.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
TG and I had a lovely and lovingly intimate time on Friday. The weekend promised to be full so SHE made sure to get things going before the weekend overwhelmed us. As I mentioned earlier, TullyGirl is NOT currently the Keyholder, but if you read the title of my journal you'll notice that we've always lived in the reality that she IS the Keyholder.
I had intended to stay locked, but she wanted me free so, after a licking and sucking induced orgasm for her, I was set free for some play time. I begged that we not end too quickly which led to some nice touching and feeling before we finished with sex and an orgasm for both of us. (PIV with a sucking vib makes her happy).
I really hope to talk more about our next round of Keyholding, but there appears to be a few barriers in play. One is that she doesn't seem to want to talk about it. After her last comment a few posts ago, she's gone a tad cold in the sex talk department. And secondly, we just haven't had time. To be fair, #2 might be informing #1.
I had intended to stay locked, but she wanted me free so, after a licking and sucking induced orgasm for her, I was set free for some play time. I begged that we not end too quickly which led to some nice touching and feeling before we finished with sex and an orgasm for both of us. (PIV with a sucking vib makes her happy).
I really hope to talk more about our next round of Keyholding, but there appears to be a few barriers in play. One is that she doesn't seem to want to talk about it. After her last comment a few posts ago, she's gone a tad cold in the sex talk department. And secondly, we just haven't had time. To be fair, #2 might be informing #1.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
We have been overwhelmed by visitors for several weeks now. Tomorrow we say goodbye to our last visitor for a while!
So last night as we were waiting for their arrival, I handed TullyGirl a note that I had hand written. Here’s how it started.
We didn’t quite finish. Our final guest arrived and put an end to that discussion.
“We can finish this later,” TullyGirl said, as she put away the notebook in her night stand.
This afternoon, as she was finishing up her shower, I joined her in the bathroom.
She noticed the smile on my face when I saw that she was in her panties. She noted, “You’re just in time,” and gestured for a hug. I responded and swept her in a strong embrace... with my hands on her rear.
“Please take you hands off... the rule is that you can’t touch me in my bathing suit areas,” she admonished.
“But I want you,” I replied.
She responded, “None of this for you.”
I sputtered, “But we haven’t started.”
“Oh yes we have,” was her reply.
I moved my hands to the small of her back and pulled her into a tight hug and whispered, “Yes, ma’am” before giving her a deep and thankful kiss.
So last night as we were waiting for their arrival, I handed TullyGirl a note that I had hand written. Here’s how it started.
What followed was a delightful conversation about the things that made Keyholding fun for each of us. Then we began writing down the rules that I’ll need to play by. Since she’s the keyholder, she doesn’t have any rules - other than our wedding vows.My Dearest TullyGirl, Some time ago I had asked whether you were willing to actively keyhold again. I was over-joyed that you said yes. So, I think that it’s good to talk about what that means to each of us; since I only know what my thoughts are, let’s start there.
We didn’t quite finish. Our final guest arrived and put an end to that discussion.
“We can finish this later,” TullyGirl said, as she put away the notebook in her night stand.
This afternoon, as she was finishing up her shower, I joined her in the bathroom.
She noticed the smile on my face when I saw that she was in her panties. She noted, “You’re just in time,” and gestured for a hug. I responded and swept her in a strong embrace... with my hands on her rear.
“Please take you hands off... the rule is that you can’t touch me in my bathing suit areas,” she admonished.
“But I want you,” I replied.
She responded, “None of this for you.”
I sputtered, “But we haven’t started.”
“Oh yes we have,” was her reply.
I moved my hands to the small of her back and pulled her into a tight hug and whispered, “Yes, ma’am” before giving her a deep and thankful kiss.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
This morning TullyGirl continued with subtle(?) reminders that she is now the rule maker.
I removed my cage, as directed, to shower. I showered and replaced the ring but hadn’t put the cage on yet. I had been watching TullyGirl shower so the cage didn’t quite fit yet. She noticed. “Hey! Get your cage on and stop taking advantage of your freedom.”
Not long after, and after I had caged up, we were still in the bathroom. You might find this silly, but wedgies make me laugh and are a fun little repartee between the two of us. Once in a while when TullyGirl bends over in front of me, I’ll take advantage of seeing her panty waistband and give a good yank. I laugh, and she gives me a frown and sticks out her tongue saying, “I don’t know why you find that funny.”
Well, today I went to grab her waistband and then realized that it was off limits. I had originally negotiated that I could give her one wedgie a week so I said, “I’m going to use my weekly wedgie.”
“No you’re not,” she responded. “New rule. No wedgies. Ever.”
I removed my cage, as directed, to shower. I showered and replaced the ring but hadn’t put the cage on yet. I had been watching TullyGirl shower so the cage didn’t quite fit yet. She noticed. “Hey! Get your cage on and stop taking advantage of your freedom.”
Not long after, and after I had caged up, we were still in the bathroom. You might find this silly, but wedgies make me laugh and are a fun little repartee between the two of us. Once in a while when TullyGirl bends over in front of me, I’ll take advantage of seeing her panty waistband and give a good yank. I laugh, and she gives me a frown and sticks out her tongue saying, “I don’t know why you find that funny.”
Well, today I went to grab her waistband and then realized that it was off limits. I had originally negotiated that I could give her one wedgie a week so I said, “I’m going to use my weekly wedgie.”
“No you’re not,” she responded. “New rule. No wedgies. Ever.”
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
An interesting thing that I've learned about myself. I jump into the deep end.
It's true of everything that I do. Whatever turn of phrase you may wish to use, I go all in. And it appears that chastity is no different. And now, just like the first time that we began chastity, I am needing to control my enthusiasm. I've spent my days looking at captions and reading articles and a few too many links from those captions and articles. Now my head is full of chastity and TullyGirl hardly stands a chance.
Take a deep breath, TullyBoy.
It's true of everything that I do. Whatever turn of phrase you may wish to use, I go all in. And it appears that chastity is no different. And now, just like the first time that we began chastity, I am needing to control my enthusiasm. I've spent my days looking at captions and reading articles and a few too many links from those captions and articles. Now my head is full of chastity and TullyGirl hardly stands a chance.
Take a deep breath, TullyBoy.
Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality
I had thought that today was too full for intimacy; thankfully TullyGirl thought differently.
We woke up slowly, cuddling next to each other as we swam our way toward the awake world. When we had finally opened our eyes we began talking about our day ahead. After a while her hand began massaging my chest and nipples. I enjoyed that for a time.
Eventually I lifted up her shirt and kissed her tummy, then her belly button and finally worked my way up her chest to her nipple. I knew that I wasn't supposed to. As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of the rules is that bikini areas are off limits. But I was wondering what the limits are. I wanted to see whether she really cared. I wanted to see whether I really needed to wait for an invitation. Just what are my boundaries? And would she punish me?
"Excuse me?" she said.
"I was just testing my boundaries," I smiled.
"Well, you're nipple rub is over!" she declared.
Lesson learned.
Though, I honestly didn't lose much. We needed to get up and get to the gym, so our time was limited. Lucky me
After a gym workout we returned home to shower. She hadn't said anything about engaging sexually so I gave her some space. When I thought that she was finished I went to take my shower. She was still naked.
"I was about to text you. Take off the cage and put that in me where the sun doesn't shine," she commanded.
She turned the water back on while I de-caged. When I entered the water she soaped up her hands and began stroking me. She continued while I wet down my body and then TullyGirl put her leg up against the bench and pulled me into her.
She was seriously hot. Temperature. I can't remember her pussy feeling so hot. And her kisses were wet and sloppy. What a glorious moment. And then she whispered in my ear: "You may not cum."
The embrace continued as she worked me to several tenuous edges... so close. Then she left the shower and returned with her vibrator which she handed to me. I helped her to her climax and then steadied her as she struggled for balance - it had been a leg day!
When she had recovered she guided me into her one more time saying, "One more edge for you."
Afterward, it took me some time to come down enough to fit in my cage. I intentionally left the cage sitting on the counter to see whether she was really thinking like my Keyholder yet. Just one more test, I thought. As we were finishing up our ablutions, she noticed the cage on the counter. She only needed to glance at it and then glare at me - and I knew what she meant.
Yep, she's my Keyholder.
We woke up slowly, cuddling next to each other as we swam our way toward the awake world. When we had finally opened our eyes we began talking about our day ahead. After a while her hand began massaging my chest and nipples. I enjoyed that for a time.
Eventually I lifted up her shirt and kissed her tummy, then her belly button and finally worked my way up her chest to her nipple. I knew that I wasn't supposed to. As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of the rules is that bikini areas are off limits. But I was wondering what the limits are. I wanted to see whether she really cared. I wanted to see whether I really needed to wait for an invitation. Just what are my boundaries? And would she punish me?
"Excuse me?" she said.
"I was just testing my boundaries," I smiled.
"Well, you're nipple rub is over!" she declared.
Lesson learned.
Though, I honestly didn't lose much. We needed to get up and get to the gym, so our time was limited. Lucky me
After a gym workout we returned home to shower. She hadn't said anything about engaging sexually so I gave her some space. When I thought that she was finished I went to take my shower. She was still naked.
"I was about to text you. Take off the cage and put that in me where the sun doesn't shine," she commanded.
She turned the water back on while I de-caged. When I entered the water she soaped up her hands and began stroking me. She continued while I wet down my body and then TullyGirl put her leg up against the bench and pulled me into her.
She was seriously hot. Temperature. I can't remember her pussy feeling so hot. And her kisses were wet and sloppy. What a glorious moment. And then she whispered in my ear: "You may not cum."
The embrace continued as she worked me to several tenuous edges... so close. Then she left the shower and returned with her vibrator which she handed to me. I helped her to her climax and then steadied her as she struggled for balance - it had been a leg day!
When she had recovered she guided me into her one more time saying, "One more edge for you."
Afterward, it took me some time to come down enough to fit in my cage. I intentionally left the cage sitting on the counter to see whether she was really thinking like my Keyholder yet. Just one more test, I thought. As we were finishing up our ablutions, she noticed the cage on the counter. She only needed to glance at it and then glare at me - and I knew what she meant.
Yep, she's my Keyholder.