The proposal...

[fonetik2003]

Well my wife/mistress had a proposal for me the other day. She said for the rest of the year, I will stay chaste for increments of two weeks at a time, to be let out every other Sunday when I can cum as much as I like before being locked back up at midnight. I added that I'd like to be spanked and anally violated on a regular basis. And after every two two week cycles, I will be let out for a whole week when I can freely cum whenever the impulse strikes me. That way, I'm allowed a little breathing room you understand. Before we make this idea a reality, I wanted to know what some of you had to say? I mean, I'm still fairly new to this and the longest I've ever been locked up until this point is 9 days. (Little background info for ya there!)

[celticqueens_sub]

Hi there, most of us on here are using MC and orgasm control/denial as a means to enhance our relationships with our partners. Some use it to rediscover the earlier magic of their relationship whilst some, like CQ and I use it to maintain a stable FLR and as a means of ensuring that our relationship is intimate and mutually satisfying to both. So I guess what I am saying is do wht works for you.

I wanted to know what some of you had to say?

I am not quite sure what you mean by this? Nobody on here would judge what you are doing/suggesting as right or wrong. Would what you describe above work for me? No, but then so what? There is no correct or incorrect way to do this. Just what works for both of you. What I find on here is really good advice and experience from dozens of people and couples living MC lifestyles and how to deal with things like devices and comfort issues and their experiences of MC.

ATB CQ's

[thumper]

What he said. Do what works for you!

[wishful4]

Many couples on this forum have tried to set release dates or set specific periods of time to be locked up. In the end, they find that it is better to not set specific dates, times, etc. It tends to add a little spontaneity to MC and gives your KH more leeway to release you when the mood strikes her, not on some specific date. On a specific date, neither of you know how you will feel or what mood you will be in, or what you will be doing. I think my KH/spouse feels less pressure if no date exists and it is up to her to decide to release. If that's hard for you, make an agreement in advance to be allowed release at least bi-monthly or monthly leaving the exact date/time up to her. There is no right or wrong answer to this. It's just whatever ever works for the two of you.

[ChastizedRob]

I consider you very lucky! My wife decided to lock me up on Jan 4 thise year and I have only had 10 orgasms on 8 different days since that date!!! She has twice had me locked for 32 day stretches in the past almost 4 months.

Good luck, but if she is like my wife you may find she really takes to enjoying how much better you treat her and enjoys controlling your orgasms to assure you treat her better.

[Tom Allen]

Before we make this idea a reality, I wanted to know what some of you had to say?

This is what I hear:

The longest you've gone is 9 days - barely over a week.
But now you're trying to set a goal for a year. Except inside that year, you expect to orgasm every other week, and once a month you'd have a free week.

To me, that sounds like a lot of record keeping. And perhaps, too much free time. Why not try two weeks, orgasm, two weeks, etc., for a couple of months, and then see how things go? I only mention it because sometimes when you set really long goals, then it's easy to become discouraged when something happens (work, kids, in-laws, whatever) to get in the way.

[davidphd1866]

I think Tom (as usual) makes very good sense here. Annual goals are tough. (trust me, I was in the middle of one when a medical condition caused my wife and I to pause on our goals.)

I recommend starting with the cycle you describe. Then at the end of each cycle, simply ask yourselves....do you start another one? Do we extend it? Do we shorten it? Etc.

This way, if you agree to re-evaluate regularly, it eliminates the disappointment of a longish goal.

David

[prthomas]

Well my wife/mistress had a proposal for me the other day.

My wife no longer proposes anything. She tells me like it is. In the beginning, it was clear that if she goes down the road, she sets the rules and does not ask for my input. Of course, that's the way we both want it. I do not wish to have a schedule or know when the "next time" will be. If she wants me to wait a week or a month, I don't know what it's going to be.

If you ask her why, it's because she wants me to make love to her every time as though it will be my last time (or for a long time). If I know that I'm going to be out again in two weeks, I might not be as "into it" if I knew it was going to be two months instead. But that is what makes it more exciting for the both of us.

[fonetik2003]

These are all very good points. Like I said earlier, I'm pretty new to this idea and wanted some valuable input. I don't know what the rest of ya'll do, but ours is more akin to a BDSM relationship, in which case there's a negotiation that happens before a scene (or in this instance, a chastity stint), so I guess an undisclosed or otherwise spur of the moment style release schedule would be more interesting for the reasons stated above? Well thank you as that does make a lot of sense...

[Celtic Queen]

I have to say ( from a D/s perspective), if my hub said "lock me up for a whole year but you must release me every two weeks and give me spankings and anal play", getting a spanking would be the least of his problems. If she's the boss, she's the boss. You should let go of the reigns and expect to get what you're given. Long term chastity is NOT a scene, it's real life. Scenes are play which can incorporate chastity of course but you're quickly going to find that chaste relationships just don't allow for the structure of play. It's about as practical as living your life 24 x 7 in a gimp mask with time out to eat out of a dog bowl. If you are achieving that then I'd say you have an audience over at ChastityMansion but folks here are a little more, erm, sedate in their chastity practices