Trying something different

[poptart1200]

My g/f has had me in chastity since July of 2015. It hasn't been continuous, there has been a couple month long breaks. Right now, I have been out of chastity for almost 2 months. She hates me masturbating and loves me in chastity but sometimes I need a break from the monotony.

She's not a very sexual woman. There isn't a lot of teasing and such that most guys get in order to keep them interested in wearing a tube. That's an issue for me because I feel like I'm just being locked up just so I don't ask her for sex. She doesn't want me to cum without her and that's ok, however, I wish she would take more control. We've talked about this and she acknowledges what is going on, but she claims that there is nothing she can do about it to change.

The first couple months were good and she teased me, then she began using chastity as a way for her not to have sex and the teasing stopped. We've gone as long as 75 days without teasing or sex, either PIV or oral. It's not that I need sex while in chastity and I can go that long being locked up, but I definitely need the teasing and to give her pleasure. Some guys might say that is her prerogative and that I am Topping from the bottom and you're probably right. However, I need teasing to stay interested.

So, I introduced a comprise. I'll wear the tube during her period, more specifically, for the 7 days she is on her sugar pills from birth control. After that, I will be unlocked, but she does have the right to tell me to lock up at anytime. I hope this will encourage her to tease more and lead back to full time chastity.

Thoughts?

[braddogg4345]

I have the same problem with my keyholder not teasing or not wanting sex enough. Your problem sounds a little more extreme than mine. I get teasing at least once a week. What i do to remedy the problem is i do my own teasing while the keyholder is at work and i am home. Convince her to send you provocative pictures on your phone while you are at work. Use those pics to basically tease yourself. Indirectly she is doing the teasing since it is a pic of her. I find teasing yourself with pics of your KH will still help to build your desire toward her. My avatar that i use is a close up of a pic that my KH sent me while i was at work. And, i know it goes without saying, but make sure she has you locked up while you are teasing yourself.

I used to get upset when i wouldnt get enough teasing. But i realized that she is in total control. If she doesnt want to tease me, i dont get teased. Because like you mentioned, if you get mad and pressure her to do it, that is you being in control. I wouldnt recommend periods out of chastity because, in my opinion, it defeats the purpose of doing male chastity in the first place.

[Shepherdsflock]

We're having that struggle right now. It seems to be cyclical. She'll have a month or two where she keeps me engaged and teases me at least a couple of times per week. Then she'll have several weeks where she doesn't want to do anything at all. No orgasms or anything for her and nothing for me either. She just wants to go to bed and be left alone.

I'm kind of struggling myself right now. We just agreed to make my chastity permanent about a month ago, and that came after a month and a half of chastity. After almost three months of chastity, having her get into one of her non-sexual phases is tough. I do miss the teasing, but I miss her orgasms more. Just like I used to feel weird after not having an orgasm for a few days before chastity, I start to get edgy if I go a while without getting to give her one. I hope this phase doesn't last very long and she starts getting back to normal.

[Shepherdsflock]

I wouldnt recommend periods out of chastity because, in my opinion, it defeats the purpose of doing male chastity in the first place.

I wholeheartedly agree. Especially if either one of you have any intention of doing extended durations. This was one of the factors that helped us decide on permanent chastity. The rollercoaster of lock/release was really a pain. We both got tired of it for different reasons.

I still have to deal with my wife's periodic asexual phases, but at least the up and down hormonal and emotional rollercoaster of lock and release is behind us.

[VinnyDee]

Any type of sexual fetish with a partner that is not that into sex usually does not work out well. I know about your problem because I have been there. I do not want to tell you what to do but the internet is filled with guys with girlfriends or wives who are not into sex and/or their fetish. I advise young people to marry someone they are sexually compatible with. The divorce rate is high enough as it is and sex is very important.

Women rarely go from a low libido to a high one. My best advice is to serious think about the wisdom of staying with someone who is not going to sexually satisfy you. I agree with the chastity advice above. What I did was do 24/7 lockup and require two nights of teasing. However, if you girlfriend is not into this at all, you are basically playing with yourself, so to speak. I have tried just about every fetish out there and if my wife or girlfriend was not into it, it was always best to just move on to the next one.

[poptart1200]

Great advice guys!

[VinnyDee]

My wife is in her mid sixties so her libido is decreasing every year but our deal is that I will stay locked up and denied as long as she likes but I have to be teased once a week. After a month, I have to be teased twice a week. That has worked well for us over the last few years.

Our problem is different. While being more aroused for your wife is touted as one of the benefits of chastity, my wife prefers that I do not suffocate her with too much attention. She does not like when I look at her like a hungry dog eyeing a big juicy steak. I try not to do it but after 3 weeks or so, just seeing her hard nipples under her blouse draw my attention and arousal so it is a battle for me. Today we are trying a new method. If I mention sex, I get caned hard. Tonight will be an example of what I can expect if I bug her about sex or teasing me before she is ready. Of course I had to agree to be punished because after all, chastity is a sex game and not my real life.