Dev's Conceptual Model of Chastity

[Dev]

Has she read my blog? Give her the link. Today's post is on going to the bathroom and I've covered a bunch of the other stuff you say are her concerns.

And I talk about vibrators, too.

D

[likes2blocked]

She is actually the one more concerned about the basic concerns of fit, keeping clean, how do you use the bathroom etc. I dunno... There are days that this idea seems like a really good idea (Like today) then there are days I flip out about the "what if" stuff. Maybe its time I just order a Curve from Kept for her and we give it a whirl. There are always bolt cutters...

OK, I'm confused. You said on the other forum:

Sorry I should have explained this better. While she said she liked the idea (Both the getting me to be a better more attentive husband) and thought it would be kind of a turn on she said she felt that she would end up not being "into" this and that it would end up with me being just sitting around locked up all the time.
[snip]
What I think my wife was admitting was that if we did this it would just be nothing. [snip] But more important my wife is not into the idea and THAT I think is the real kiss of death.

These seem like really different sets of issues.

OR it is possible that she's getting used to the idea. People don't worry about practical issues unless they're thinking about how to make something work. Speaking of which, don't go for the Curve. It is just about impossible to conceal under clothing.

So dive in - they have good prices at Extreme Restraints. Go try it for a couple days, see if it is fun. If it is, do it for a week. Worst thing that will happen is you're out $150. I wish that were the most expensive mistake I'd ever made...

[Jimi123]

Trust me I have a lot of different issues - this is not an easy thing for me...

She was very practical about this. Far more then me btw. How will you pee? The one you talked about it too small do they make a larger one? etc etc...

Her not being "into" it is not her interest in the erotic side of this (Which she admits to) but the practical side of day to day what are we going to do or not do? She said her fear is that I would end up locked up her not being tuned into this and kind of just forgetting about it - thus the rusting lock atrophied cock comment I made.

I admit flip flopping on this. Is it better to be in chastity and have a plan for sex but not get it? Then to not be in chastity not have a plan and not have sex? ? ? If I think about it that way I'm depressed. If however I'm thinking how this seems to get at least some women "into" being more into sex (Even if it seems it much more about them then anything mutual) its more attractive.

Re: The curve. I'm not too shy and I'm fairly well endowed so pushing me into say a CB6000? Its just not going to work and since I'm much more into the improve the relationship and possible gain a better sex life? I would like to not also deal with being in a lot of discomfort doing this.

[likes2blocked]

Trust me I have a lot of different issues - this is not an easy thing for me...

I'd noticed you have issues

She was very practical about this. Far more then me btw. How will you pee? The one you talked about it too small do they make a larger one? etc etc...

As I said, worrying about practical things is good. I only worry about practicalities of things I might do.

Her not being "into" it is not her interest in the erotic side of this (Which she admits to) but the practical side of day to day what are we going to do or not do? She said her fear is that I would end up locked up her not being tuned into this and kind of just forgetting about it - thus the rusting lock atrophied cock comment I made.

That can happen. It did with us more than once. So you take it off, don't play that way for a while, and then come back to it (or not). A counter for this is that you make sure you always give her physical attention that she wants (sexual or not), and she gives you physical attention regularly. You also have to be ready for life to get in the way. Some days just don't work, you don't feel good, whatever.

I admit flip flopping on this. Is it better to be in chastity and have a plan for sex but not get it? Then to not be in chastity not have a plan and not have sex? ? ?

Since I get off by being teased, and look at the CD as a minor form of bondage, which also gets me off, I'll take the chastity with no sex over not chastity with no sex. As least I'm getting _some_ of my kinks met, as opposed to none. I've also found that my idea of sex has really greatly expanded.

If I think about it that way I'm depressed. If however I'm thinking how this seems to get at least some women "into" being more into sex (Even if it seems it much more about them then anything mutual) its more attractive.

It's certainly worked for us. There's a very freeing aspect of it, where if all she wants is a bit of touching, then that's all she gets, without having to worry about being pushed into something she doesn't want. This sort of play seems to have an interesting effect on women, but I wish some of the women would chime in with their POV.

Re: The curve. I'm not too shy and I'm fairly well endowed so pushing me into say a CB6000? Its just not going to work and since I'm much more into the improve the relationship and possible gain a better sex life? I would like to not also deal with being in a lot of discomfort doing this.

I thought the same thing. This of course depends on your dimensions, but I'm certainly above average, and thought at first I'd need a bigger one. IIRC, at the time, there was the 2000 and the Curve, and I'm sure the 2000 wouldn't work. The 3000 and 6000 are snug, but that's OK, snug is good.

If money isn't tight, you could just jump right in the deep end and go for the Jailbird. Those are custom made to you.

[Dev]

If money isn't tight, you could just jump right in the deep end and go for the Jailbird. Those are custom made to you.

I second this suggestion. I think the CB-X000's should cost about $59.95 (in other words, they are overpriced at $149) and the Jailbird ($260) is a great value for a custom made device. If you can pony up an extra $110, I definitely think it's worth it.

D

[thumper]

I cannot recommend jumping right into a steel device if only because there's practically no way you can know what the right measurements are when you're just starting out. Also, the correct fit on day one will not be the correct fit on day 365. Also also, what happens if you don't even *like* chastity? Then you're out of luck...

I agree that the CB-X000's are expensive for what they are and that the Jailbird looks like a great value, but I still recommend (when asked, and no, I wasn't asked in this case) that newbies should start with the plastic and then trade up to the steel.

[Dev]

Good points, Thumper, and we certainly got the fitting on the JB right by using the CB as a sizing guide.

Also also, what happens if you don't even *like* chastity? Then you're out of luck...

True, but if you jump in with a JB and that doesn't work, you're only $110 "more" out of luck. On the other hand, good fit and comfort is essential to helping someone see if they do like chastity. One guy here, Shane, is putting up with sores and rashes in a plastic CB. I am amazed he has stuck out as long as he has (two months, I think). How many guys quit before they barely begin because the plastic makes them sweaty, it's uncomfortable, etc., and cleaning can be a pain in the ass. So maybe it's worth it to spend a little bit more at the beginning and get a device that may have a higher chance of success with comfort and ability to easily wear 24/7. And for reluctant wives, they might find the metal devices more attractive and be more inclined to consider chastity as a result---or I might be completely off base about that. That might just be my little fetish.

I wish there was a way to come up with a really good sizing guide to help people. It's so hit or miss right now. I guess my one piece of advice might be, "Guys, you are smaller than you think you are." LOL. Also the grower vs. shower issue needs to be sorted out for each man.

Remember, we started out with metal (the ridiculously huge Birdcage) so I knew the superiority of metal over plastic right off the bat. He was only in the CB a week or so before I was ordering the JB.

D

[Atone]

"Guys, you are smaller than you think you are."
D

ha, aint that the truth. I kept getting smaller and smaller devices. Even now it seems most of the time there is room at the end. Sometimes I think my penis has unlimited capacity to shrink.

I do have to agree with Thumper though that the plastic devices are a good place to start. I think if you really follow the recommendations on determining length and get the right tube (not that hard, there aren't that many to choose from) the multiple rings and spacers can really get you close without a lot of expense along the way. I don't think I could have come close to the right dimensions without the experience of the CB-3000. Even with that experience it took two tries.

And I think you are generous saying they should be $59

-A

[thumper]

It's funny you're all saying this because I've recently started to think I might want to try a smaller tube on the Steelheart. Hmmm...

[Jimi123]

This is off the topic but on the "guys you are smaller then you think" I was thinking that myself before I ordered the Curve because it seemed like the CB6000 etc looked right, how could they sell so many if they didn't fit etc.

Well... My wife said that (Miss Practical) there was no way I would fit into the CB6000 and she wasn't sure about the curve so... I ordered the Curve and without boasting this is really tight. Anything smaller would be on EBAY. So yes, most of you ARE smaller then you think. Some are just not as ahhh smaller then others...