Is this site recommended for wary new keyholders?

[charliechaste]

Hi all,

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

I'm a newbie, in fact a pre-newbie, as I am planning to have 'the talk' with my lovely wife in the next day or two. Going over and over it in my head, taking on board so much I've learned from here, not even going to mention a CD right now, just talk about denial and how I'd like us to play with the idea. I feel like I did as a kid trying to pick the right time to tell my dad about the window I broke.

What I have found, as mentioned in other places, is that it is quite difficult to find a resource I can share with her, to help her get her head around where this is coming from. I know she'll find it odd, but she will certainly entertain the notion of researching it a little. A couple of articles/blogs I found seemed pretty good, working through the basic drivers, the pros the cons etc, but then they would divert off to the panties, the spanking, the milking, humiliation, emasculation and all sorts of things that I know would be the death knell for my hopes.

Not that there is anything wrong with people having these slants on the lifestyle, each to their own, but for my prospective KH, those angles take basic chastity down a couple of levels more than I think she needs right now.

I noticed recent postings about there being a separate keyholder's forum area, and I just wanted to ask what the atmosphere in there is like. Based on the rest of this board, I suspect it is exactly at the level I feel she needs right now for support, and not a HOWTO guide for dominatrix types.

Any thoughts or suggestions on whether it is a good idea to bring her on here and get her access, or is it too soon for that?

Thank you
Charlie

[poor]

Sarah Jameson's book 'Be Careful What You Wish For' is an excellent primer for her. The website that you have to negotiate to purchase it is uber-tacky but the book/download is great at explaining this 'odd' thing and what it needs to thrive in a relationship.

My 2c: when you have 'the talk' be certain and clear. HOW you tell her what you want will say as much to her about it as WHAT you say to her. If you make it seem sordid or something to be ashamed of then it'll make it harder for her to accept than if you can make it a new fun thing to try in & out of bed.

After the talk: wait for a reply (might be a few days) and be honest (don't tell her what you think she wants to hear) and listen (don't just hear the bits that you want to hear).

Good luck.

[Michele]

As a Keyholder who found this site (my hubby is not on it) I was absolutely pleased to find this forum. It's the real stuff about chastity. The married couple really living it stuff. I think this is a great resource for both halves of the relationship.

Personally there are a couple other books out there way cheaper than Sarah's book. You can certainly spend the $79 for the download if you want but Mistress Ivey has some outstanding books out there as well as a couple others I've read. I DID buy her book (wasted my money) and while it is a very good book it's in no way worth $79. Maybe it was a few years ago but I think there is so much more info out there now that it's not necessary.

Just my opinion

[Dannyboy]

I think you are playing it right taking it slow with your wife. It so difficult to ask for advice (which I can attest to) as every one is different and handles things in different ways.

As recommended don't push her and give her time to think it over. It is difficult when you are excited about something, anything in fact not to keep talking about it.

If she is willing to look at or join this site then im sure there isn't a better one around, but don't worry if she's doesn't. My KH isn't bothered about looking on here as she prefers to play her own game although she does glean information and ideas from some blogs relating to chastity.

All the best in your pending conversation

[Michele]

Oh yeah... btw when hubby and I had the conversation about chastity it took me a good four months of my own research and finding the right blogs to really realize the benefits and how great the potential was.

I know I have a post about all that on my blog... or at least I should!

[Tom Allen]

Jeez, Sarah wants $79 for that book? It must be some kind of thing where you get the book, plus a bunch of other stuff.

But yeah, that site... looks like it's for Lose Weight Now! diet pills.

[Michele]

Jeez, Sarah wants $79 for that book? It must be some kind of thing where you get the book, plus a bunch of other stuff.

But yeah, that site... looks like it's for Lose Weight Now! diet pills.

Haha no dear... you get the pdf download and that's it. We bought it because at the time it was the only thing I could find about being a married couple into chastity.

The only other thing it "got" me was access to the Google group that no one ever uses lol yeah that's worth it!

[husbandobeyswife]

I introduced my wife to this by using the book Around Her Finger, which you can order a copy on lulu.com here.

This book is written by a husband and wife and tells the story of two couples, one who does FLR using denial, and one whose life could be improved if they did start following the tenants of OD and FLR. Through chapters of story followed by chapters of analysis it imparts its views about how letting the woman lead and her keeping her man in sexual denial is a better way of life.

My wife and I have moved on past this books relatively simple introduction and now do 24/7 device based chastity, but it was a good introduction and I highly recommend it.

Best,
Husband

*edited because it is out of stock on amazon but is available from the print on demand service Lulu

[charliechaste]

Thank you so much guys for the thoughtful comments. I wish I WAS just telling her about a broken window, I wouldn't be so nervous.

I so believe that this will be such a win-win arrangement, and I know I've only really one shot at striking the balance. Hence the trepidation.

C

[Tom Allen]

You might also want to take a look at this:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/207590365/Rea ... -Household

Lady Misato is turning her website into a book. If you read it online, please leave some comments for her.