Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Living the real life under lock and key

Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Postby happilylockedman » Fri May 19, 2017 3:18 pm

I am new to chastity and want to share my experiences, which are different from what I expected. I have had a lifelong infatuation with bdsm and I saw chastity as a branch of that. I found it exciting to look at pictures of “locked up” men and imagined myself being subjected to that by a stern mistress. This is something that my wife (M) was NOT comfortable with. I finally found a way to introduce the topic in a way that worked for her, explaining that my relationship with her was the most important one in my life.
I got copies of a few major brands and found that I was most comfortable in the holy trainer copy. I have a key and M has a key. I use my key to remove the device for showering after which I put it back on. She uses her key when she wants access to me.
I have had major surprises. While wearing the device I am totally concerned with her pleasure and genuinely content to put my desires on a back burner. I have discovered that my own O is really, really important to me and that when I am not locked up it feels like my O that is the ultimate goal of a sexual encounter. But when I am locked up and I do not expect to get an O I am free to give her my whole hearted attention. And I love doing it. Her passion excites and satisfies me. When she is writhing with passion it seems to satisfy me as much as if I was coming. Yesterday she said she expected we could be passionate this morning. And I was looking forward to that. But this morning she said she just wasn’t feeling sexual. I was OK with that. We cuddled and I told her that when I am wearing the device (which is all the time, except while showering) I just feel more patient. M was very happy to hear that, saying it took the pressure off her. Before I started with chastity if M had not wanted to romp I would have masturbated, feeling entitled to that. Now, although I have a key, I won’t do that.
I also find that it’s much easier for me to deal with feeling horny while wearing the device. This morning I showered and expected us to roll around in bed. I considered not putting the device on. Believe me when I say I was horny! But I decided no, it is her decision whether we have sex or not. So I put it on and immediately felt less urgency, which I welcomed.
So, by no means is she making me do this. It’s at my own initiative. But I believe she is coming to see more and more that my being in chastity is benefitting both of us. Not least of the benefits is that for the first time we are talking about sex. Like, this morning as we were cuddling I asked her if there was anything she wanted to say or ask me about the device I was wearing. She thought for a moment and replied no, which is fine. I want to keep the lines of communication open.
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Re: Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Postby analcuriousfan » Mon May 22, 2017 2:26 pm

happilylockedman wrote:I found it exciting to look at pictures of “locked up” men and imagined myself being subjected to that by a stern mistress. This is something that my wife (M) was NOT comfortable with. I finally found a way to introduce the topic in a way that worked for her, explaining that my relationship with her was the most important one in my life.


That was a big concern for me also. I was very turned on by the thought of my wife being dominant but she just isn't. This chastity means that she is but without really being overtly dominant. I also made it clear that no mater what, she means more to me than this so I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize us in any way.

happilylockedman wrote:I got copies of a few major brands and found that I was most comfortable in the holy trainer copy. I have a key and M has a key. I use my key to remove the device for showering after which I put it back on. She uses her key when she wants access to me.


I started with a cb6000 then went to a cb6000s then finally ended up in this holy trainer v2s. Was more complicated than I thought to get it right but happy with what I am finally in. My wife refused to have/use a key but she gave me a key ring to put the key on so that made me feel like she was connected to the key at least, I haven't discussed her having a key for about 3 months now though. My wife has never used the key to get me out though. I have had random sex though when I havent put it on but she seems totally happy to get me to eat her out most nights, recently she has been almost expecting it which i find awesome. Don't you find that pulling your penis out of the cage for sex has it a little sticky (well not as fresh as you'd want?) I find I can go 24 hours before a shower then once I clean I put it back in. It needs a clean though after being locked in the cage. What I do at the moment is to wear it from 7pm to 7am then go to work. Then put it back on again that night after a shower.

happilylockedman wrote:I have had major surprises. While wearing the device I am totally concerned with her pleasure and genuinely content to put my desires on a back burner. I have discovered that my own O is really, really important to me and that when I am not locked up it feels like my O that is the ultimate goal of a sexual encounter. But when I am locked up and I do not expect to get an O I am free to give her my whole hearted attention. And I love doing it. Her passion excites and satisfies me. When she is writhing with passion it seems to satisfy me as much as if I was coming.


I 100% agree with you. Its like a switch. When the device is on I don't give a shit about my pleasure, I only care about giving my wife pleasure. Its weird like that. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I just get off making her orgasm. And when Im done making her orgasm, I am fully satisfied with no desire or frustration left. I am 100% satisfied knowing that she is 100% satisfied.

happilylockedman wrote:So, by no means is she making me do this. It’s at my own initiative. But I believe she is coming to see more and more that my being in chastity is benefitting both of us. Not least of the benefits is that for the first time we are talking about sex. Like, this morning as we were cuddling I asked her if there was anything she wanted to say or ask me about the device I was wearing. She thought for a moment and replied no, which is fine. I want to keep the lines of communication open.


Its totally my initiative also. She was super weirded out at first but now seems to be coming around to the benefits and changes in me. And I am really loving this new me also.
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Re: Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Postby happilylockedman » Thu May 25, 2017 6:23 am

Re: The Sticky Dick issue My experience is that if I have been wearing my HT for 12 hours or more my dick comes out smelling bad. I wouldn't invite anyone to handle it then before I've washed well. I do find that using K-Y jelly as lube to get my penis into the tube works well and delays the smelly effect better than the body lotion I was using.

I bought a Chinese metal cage recently, largely to see if the open style would permit me to wear for an extended time because showering would effectively flush out the cage. I made a mistake in the style I got. I understand now that there are two basic styles of metal cage: those made from round metal rods and those which start as a solid tube that have the openings cut out. I got the cut out style and found that it was very uncomfortable. My penis caught on the openings. In retrospect I'm sure the round rod style would be better for me.
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Re: Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Postby TwistedMister » Fri May 26, 2017 4:25 am

...find that using K-Y jelly as lube to get my penis into the tube works well and delays the smelly effect better than the body lotion I was using.


I think you will find that a silicone lube will work even better.

I have a CB-3000, a shower a day (with liquid soap swished around inside, rinsed with hand-held jet spray) keeps the smelly away. The HT may be more enclosed, and so may be more difficult. At any rate, whether it's been an hour or longer it always gets a quick wash after the cage comes off- she may unlock the lock and then I go and take it off and wash, or if I'm restrained and she is taking it off she has a wet washcloth and a towel handy and the washing is just part of the 'ritual' of removing the cage...if I haven't had a shower immediately previous and already done the washing.

-------------------------------
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Re: Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Postby happilylockedman » Fri May 26, 2017 5:15 am

Thanks TwistedMister,

I appreciate your tips. I'll pick up some silicone lube. I'm almost computer illiterate and find the BB codes intimidating; I'll have to spend some time studying them.
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Re: Reality Different (and better) Than Expectations

Postby TwistedMister » Sat May 27, 2017 6:37 am

You don't need to study the codes if you don't want to, as long as JavaScript is not disabled in your browser all you need to do is use the buttons in the Full Editor window- for quotes, just copy the portion you want to quote, then click the quote button, the cursor will be set between the two quote tags and then you just paste the text you copied. For other formatting (bold, italic, underline, etc.) just highlight (in the editor window) the text you want to format and click the appropriate button.

When the Web was new and there were no automated tools, I used to code web pages by hand, so it is much faster and easier for me to just type the tags in instead of messing with the mouse to highlight and click buttons to format.
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