Chastity Forums

Greetings from the all year round sunny city of Singapore.

I don't know if there are any more folks from this country in this forum. Hope I am not the first, or maybe am happy to be the first and encourage others from here to join in this lifestyle.

This may not be typical Chastity journey, but I am living my dream of Chastity, and giving up my orgasms to the one I love has just begun. And to do so in a country like Singapore, it really is a dream.

Here goes:

On a whim and fancy, I chanced upon a CB in my travels years back and for shits and grins decided to buy it to add some spice into my marriage. It was always vanilla to begin with and with age catching up, (I'm 53 and she's 48, both Chinese), the pressures of living in a fast paced city, bringing up a teenager, sex had taken a back seat. (I am sure many have the same experience).

So I went ahead and bought a CB3K. Brought it home, showed it to the wife and she was so repulsed by the thought that she almost threw it out immediately. Luckily, the cost stopped her. So off into storage it went.

That was 6 years ago....

Life went on, and last month I chanced upon this bag while cleaning up my closet. Though I would give it another try. This was when I came across this forum and read as much as I could to equip myself to have the conversation with the wife again. I have come to realise that this is not some kind of kink that I had hoped for like before. It is a genuine need to control my urges and also to cut down on masturbation as it is becoming a little of an obsession for me.

Had a good long chat and brought her to some sites that posted the benefits of male chastity, not particularly Femdom sites. She is still not really into all this, but I did get a bit of a concession. She has not said NO, but "do whatever you like" I took that as a small victory in at least getting her somewhat interested in this whole journey.

So I locked myself in the CB after a few attempts to find the right sizing and fit. All the advice given here were spot on about easing into this and not trying to lock on and go for a month. It took me close to a month of trial and error to find the correct fit that would not hamper my daily activities and be able to wear it for longer and longer periods of time. I am up to 7 days so far and it is still ok. I've been able to keep everything clean without having to take it off.

With a fitting CD, I presented the key to the wife with a note that listed why I want to do this. Really, it is for me to stop taking her for granted. She has been the rock in this family through the thick and thin and its about time that we concentrated on HER needs instead. It may not be the typical reason why most people get into this lifestyle, but I feel that the CD is and will be a constant reminder (for me at least) to put her first whether it be in bed or in life. She deserves it.

I was expecting her to throw the key out the window and kick me out of the house. Instead, she calmly put the key into her drawer and told me that it would be there and any time that I grow tired of this game, I could retrieve it.

I have no urge to make her my Goddess or Mistress. Nor do I want a FLR. I just want to be kept reminded that she is the only person that matters to me and I would gladly give up fooling around and masturbating for her. I will let her be the decider of when we both get to cum or not. Having a CD on will also lessen the temptation to find pleasures of the flesh elsewhere. In this country where there are numerous distractions and temptations. I want it to be all about her.

So far its been a week and it has been comfortable. I do get horny sometimes and all I can feel is this plastic tube surrounding my cock. Frustrating to say the least. But the frustration is not without satisfaction that she has seen a change in my attitude at home. I am not so grumpy and stressed when I get home (and I am actually home more nowadays). I have some sort of ZEN about me and easier to talk to now she says. She even went to the extent of checking that the CD is still in place once in a while.

I tried cuddling up to her in bed and it pokes her and she does not like it. she keeps saying that she prefers the real thing poking into her. I offer to ease her tensions orally and have done that on a few nights not expecting anything in return. She offered to unlock me to ease my tensions, but I am sticking to my intent of letting her feel wanted and needed and making her satisfied. I told her that SHE decides she wants to use the real thing or be serviced by my tongue. I gave her control as to how she wants her orgasms to happen and not needing to reciprocate.

Then she dropped the bombshell. "Since our anniversary will be coming up on April 21, lets keep it locked till then and we will both have a great time TOGETHER".

What more could I ask for.......

I hope that this will last and we live our lives like this. We are at our happiest now, and I wish this to carry on.

I just went to the drawer and the keys are not there anymore.......

A small update: I think things could possibly work out. Last night, in the midst of clearing some stuff out of our closet, I accidentally brushed against the wife with the CD. Instead of being annoyed, she casually asked how it feels to be locked up like this. I told her that except for the occasional squishing of the balls when I sit, it is actually quite comfortable.

She asked to see how it looks like all squashed up!!!!!

Without hesitating, we went to the bathroom and I pulled my pants down to show her. She said it look absolutely comical and laughed at how small the thing (thats what she calls it)is. Feeling a bit embarrassed, but excited at the same time, I asked if she would like to be served. She said maybe later, if the mood comes. She then also showed me something that I completely did not expect. She unbuttoned her blouse and there dangling from her neck on a nice gold chain was the KEY. She IS WEARING MY KEY!!!! (or should I say HER key now)

She said that she had been doing some research on her own about this whole chastity lifestyle and she would like to give it a try. We both agree that I am not looking for a FLR or to be dominated. I just want to make her happy on my own free will. She has the power to decide when she likes to be served or when she wants me to be released for more fun. We also agreed that I have the final decision to call this all off if I lose interest.

Later, she asked for some fun and I readily complied. When she was done, she held out the key and asked if I would like some release. Now which dummy wouldn't? Of course I said YES. She said: "Not till the 21st" you shall have to endure for a few more days and I promise you a night you won't forget....

What more could a guy ask for.....

Stay tuned for more updates after the 21st

Awesome account. We're tuned, and it's after the 21st!

Sorry for the delay.

Here the account of all that happened over the weekend. May be a bit long.

Well, came the 21st and I had all the anticipation, much like the wedding night. I couldn't keep focus on anything at work all day! Finally came time to call it a week and I rushed home to find a well cooked dinner prepared and the house empty. Hmmmm expectations of things to come?

Happy Anniversary Dear was all she said. Dinners getting cold. please eat quickly and go for your shower. The celebrating is just beginning. Can you imagine what thoughts were running through my head at that moment. Dinner was pretty quite, making small talk and general talk about our work days.GOD! the anticipation is KILLING ME!!!!!!. Dinner done and I jumped into the shower quicker than I ever did. Got scrubbed clean (as can be with a cage on) and came out naked.

"PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!!!, YOU WANT THE NEIGHBOURS TO SEE YOU NAKED?" was the response I got. Not quite what I expected. "Get dressed, we're going out for drinks with friends".

What? with the cage on?? wouldn't it be a little uncomfortable? Maybe we could have a little fun first, then go out with our friends without the bother of the CD? Well, she isn't having any of that. "I know the way you look at Jolene (our friend), and I want you to stay a good man and not have thoughts since I know that you will be having fantasies of her while you are having sex with me."

So the drink date was pretty uneventful. with a caged monster raring to go, not so much as having thoughts of her friend (who was seriously hot, by the way), but about what could happen later.

We got home, a little tipsy and she goes for her shower. She hasn't given me instructions to unlock. Strange... I wait for her to finish and she is out the shower in her usual sleeping clothes. Whatever fantasy I had of her in a sexy lingerie and looking hot evaporated. "I had a little too much to drink and I think I will just go to sleep. thanks for a wonderful anniversary date. I enjoyed it a lot." With that, she promptly jumped into bed and went to sleep with me nursing a throbbing cock well secured inside the CD dying to get some relief. Just trying my luck, I start to feel her up and stroke her where she likes, but she would have nothing of that. "GO TO SLEEP!" I was more of a command than a request. Ok Ok, I get the message. There's still the weekend.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, I was awaken by stroking of my chest and moving south towards my crotch. She was awake!!! "You have kept your promise and I will keep mine. I said you would be released tonight and so you shall, but first I heard that it is better that you make me cum first and I will make sure you won't regret it. But the cage comes off ONLY if you give me a satisfactory orgasm."

Did I need any more prompting? I dove right in and licked her to a screaming orgasm. Something I have not seen since our dating days. After she came down from it, she said:"Its been such a long time since I had such a big one. Thank you. Now is this where I roll over and go to sleep just like the stories on the net that I have read?" NO this can't be happening. As much I there is a thrill of denial and the frustration of not being to cum, I did not sign up for this. I tried to explain that she promised to take care of my needs after I had taken care of her. She just said "its your fault for letting me get so much information from the net. I am so tired out by the big O, that now you have 3 choices: go back to bed and perhaps tomorrow I may unlock you and you may be able to take care of business yourself, or I can unlock you now and take care of business yourself right now and get locked right back up cos' I am too tired to be doing anything. The last option is for you to go to sleep and maybe I will unlock you and make you happy sometime over the weekend, but I don't want to be pushed into it. GOODNIGHT!" Whatever the option, she meant me taking care of business with my trusty five friends tonight if I wanted some relief or hope that she will keep her end of the bargain and do the necessary if I don't whine.

What did I get myself into?????? So I made up my mind to respect her wishes. stay locked and hope that tomorrow will bring some relief.

Saturday morning, woke up and did the usual household routines. When our daughter left for her meetup with friends, we had the house to ourselves again. I've read enough from this forum and other sources, not to keep asking for release and tried to play it cool, but the wife had decided to tease me even more. She called me into the bed and asked for another licking. Now this is a HUGE surprise for me because she usually doesn't want more after a big one and especially one as huge as last night. But who am I to complain, I would do it gladly anytime. So after taking her to another huge orgasm, she finally calmed down to say "its your turn now." She took the key off her necklace and unlocked the lock. I now know what relief is when you see the lock turn and the shackle unlatch from the lock. Never have I been so relieved to have it opened cos' it signals the end of the lockup period and the possibility (BIG Possibility) of relief.

My wife is not the most sexually adventurous of people. All she did was to have me lie down and stroked me to orgasm. And what a HUGE orgasm it was. Why only a stroking? She was starting on her period and will never have PIV sex when its that time of the month. Nonetheless, it was relief and in the hands of the wife, it was marvellously enjoyable. I think I must have cummed all over the bed and the explosion was something I never felt before. All the things everyone says about earth shaking and mind blowing is TRUE!! It just kept going on and on and on. I was totally drained. If this is the reward for abstinence, I gladly take it anytime and for any period of time.

All done for now, we clean up and spent the day doing the usual things couples do. No mention of how it felt, when would be the next one or lockup. Its as though we were back on the old routines. She hasn't mentioned anything about future lockups and I think it would be a good idea not to broach this so soon. Let her settle into this herself and let her be the initiator. She may have been trying to humour me and playing along this time and this could be the one and only time we get to play with Chastity and Denial, but I am hopeful that there will be more.

So I am unlocked for the rest of the weekend and here I am updating the board. Apologies if it sounds a bit anti climatic, but my life doesn't exist in the fantasy realm I guess this is real life.

Thanks for reading. and I will update again when she decides to lock me up again or after we get a chance to sit down and have a conversation about the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of Male Chastity and its many implications.

Would love to hear from all, what you guys think. Do I have a chance for the wife to be part of this journey and what her response and action are actually saying. Go or No Go.....

Tklh21 wrote:Would love to hear from all, what you guys think. Do I have a chance for the wife to be part of this journey and what her response and action are actually saying. Go or No Go.....

Positive reinforcement- let her know how much you liked/loved how she acted when she refused to unlock you, how excited you were to pleasure her while locked & knowing that you were not going to get the same, how much she turned you on by denying you. Tell her how fantastic she was as your 'Keyholder', how you loved the build-up and anticipation she gave you (like an extended form of foreplay), and how great the orgasm was that she finally gave you. Tell her how much you enjoyed being there for her pleasure while you had to wait for yours. Tell her how being locked for her made you feel as though she was with you all the time, and how much you enjoyed that feeling.

You don't necessarily want to tell her all of this all at once, or the same things as I wrote them, in the same words. Only you know her well enough to know what to say and how to say it, but the general idea is that you let her know how great she was and how excited *she* made you feel. Build her up, and her accomplishment, and she will probably want to do it again. you might not want to come right out and ask her to do it again, but you could let her know that you wouldn't be opposed to it.

Totally on board with TM's advice. Just remember, while this is forefront in your mind it's just "life goes on" for her. Try not to overload her with the subject. I did that with my wife and it almost destroyed the whole thing. Let it grow like a flower. The flower will die if you just dump a whole bag of fertilizer and a gallon of water in the pot. It could take many months or even a year before she's sold on it. When the opportunity arises ( ) talk about it but don't let the conversation smother her.

I believe you are off to a great start. Just getting her to wear the key is big time. Continue to put her first and do those little things that puts a smile on her face. My wife is a great KH now and professes that this is one of the best things that ever happened to our relationship. Win/win.

Hi everyone on this board.

I have been absent for a while since my last post and I realised that its been more than 3 years since my last post.

Well a lot has happened since.

If you will recall, I managed to convince the WIFE to go on the chastity journey with me and the WONDERFUL anniversary experience I had. We really got going into the lifestyle. I was locked in, I was denied, pleasure was at HER discretion. What more could a man ask for?????

Well, like all things that are trendy, thing started to get boring for HER and myself. Work got in the way. I had a promotion, she got a new job. Things changed over the last 3 years and sex again started to take a back seat. Being locked up didn't help the situation much. I was constantly looking for relief and nudging HER to give it. SHE was Menopausing and losing interest in sex. Slowly but surely, SHE eventually told me that she is tired of this and returned me the key and told me to do whatever I please.

I almost died when she did that. I felt like I was not good enough for HER or something, but SHE reassured me that its not me but she lost interest in most things sexual. Having a new job with higher responsibilities gets her tired and all she wants to do is sleep when she got home. Eventually I began to lose interest as well with the promotion and added responsibilities. the CD end up thrown deep into the closet. Over the year that we were active, I did upgrade my CB to a different one that was a China knockoff made of steel. Both stayed in the closet since and eventually forgotten.

Fast forward to 2020. Coronavirus hit and it hit my country hard as well. The country went into lockdown in April and we have been stuck at home. So as with all things, we took the opportunity to streamline our lives and clean the house of the junk we accumulated over the years. You guessed it, we came across the old CDs in the closet. A little thought and remembering the fun times of before I hinted to the WIFE that I may want to give this another go and if she wants to be pleasured as before. I was hoping deep down that she would.

But NO, she is not at all interested now to indulge in Chastity games with me. I pleaded and pleaded that this could spice up our marriage like it did 3 years ago, but she stood firm. I respect her and her objections as I only want the best for HER. I just took it all in.

Then I had a bright idea. If she won't play with me, at least she would not mind if I played myself. Since she knows that I am into Chastity play, I was pretty sure she would not object if I wanted to play alone. I was RIGHT! SHE said: "whatever floats your boat, just leave me off it. Don't expect me to be holding your key or anything like before. I AM NOT INTERESTED ANYMORE!!!"

The words did hurt, but I know HER well. When I start pleasuring her, she will change her mind. Or so I thought.......

SHE would have NONE of it.

So I am left with playing solo. But without the uncertainty of when I could be released, it didn't seems like fun. Without the anticipation, the pleasure after the struggle would not be sweet.

So I trawled the internet for self timer APPs. Found some, but mostly did not do anything but a timed countdown. Then I read some where that there is an awesome APP that I should try and its CHASTIKEY!!!!!!

First things first, I am not an employee or trying to sell this APP. I tried other timers but it did not give the unpredictability of this APP. It seems that it was written by keyholders for ALL self lockers. With all kinds of traps and games thrown in, I felt like I did 3 years ago where I could not predict if I will ever get unlocked and not know when it would be. Brilliant!!

What I did was to buy a lockbox with a combination on it, lock the key inside, set the combination given and forget (the APP generates a bunch of numbers and sound prompts to make you confused and forget the combination) and that's it. When the timer is done, it will reveal the combination to you to open the lockbox. So SIMPLE!!!!

I have been locked in since May 1 and intend to stay locked in till Lockdown is over here and using this APP will work wonders. Its like coming home to old friends the way the cold steel covers my penis. Its a feeling that I have missed.....

If any of you know of other timer APPs that are even more devious and mean to a self locker, please let me know and I will try it.

A quick update

Sine the WIFE will not be participating in my journey I have gone into the self locking mode.

Why am I doing this? Through this lockdown period, I find myself with too much time on my hands and started to gravitate toward online porn and masturbation. I know it’s not the best thing but what do you do when the WIFE has no interest and I am constantly horny.

So to get myself to stop I resorted to self Chastity to hold off masturbation. AND to hold off the obsession with porn. I guess some will be able to identify with my situation.

So here goes a quick review of Chastikey:

Just got through my first OFFICIAL self lockup using the Chastikey APP.

Brilliant!!!! Is the only word to describe the APP.

You find some kind of lock box or container that has combinations (can range from 3 to 8 digits. The more digits the more challenging it is to remember the combination) follow the instructions to reset the lock, run the APP and it will generate a random combination for you to set the lock. You set the lock and lock your key inside. The APP will generate a screen of random numbers to mess with your mind to make you forget the combination. You are all set!!!

You can set the APP for different lockup types. Fixed time or Variable.

Fixed time: you set the duration and that’s it! Similar to other types of countdown timers. When time is up it will reveal the combination and you can release. Personally I don’t find this challenging especially after having someone hold your key but may be something that some one may want to try starting out

I set it for a variable timed release. This means I have no control on the timings. I let the APP decide the lock timings. This is done with cards that can add hours/days or freeze the clock or even reset the whole period. So this makes it super unpredictable. Everything is based on a card system when I need to find Green cards to unlock the combination.

It has options you can set to trip you up like setting multiple locks with fake combinations so you are not sure which combination is the right one.

It also has options for letting a REAL key holder hold your combination. I haven’t figured out how it works yet but I assume it’s similar to finding an online key holder and giving them the combination to do what they will with it.

If you really want a key holder experience, they have Bots that range from KIND to MEAN that keeps you wondering when you will every be released. The Bot throws in all kinds of extensions and blockers to prevent you from release. You have ZERO control over timings. I will be trying this out next. Will keep all posted.

After this first run, I am finding the old excitement in anticipating release as I do not have control which is what made Chastity play exciting. It’s what having a partner hold the key feels like and I miss the WIFE as my key holder

For all folks who self lock, I think this APP is great. If anyone has other APPs that are similar or better, I would love to hear from you and try it out.

It been a while again. A year on and the Coronavirus is still with us. I hope everyone is keeping safe.

A quick update:

Since my last post, I have largely been self locked and using the Chastikey app as a virtual keyholder. It was almost as good as having a real keyholder, but it still lacked the personal touch. I have tried to find an keyholder locally, but in this conservative city SINGAPORE, it was next to impossible. It was even hard to find like minded people who are into Chastity or some sort of fetish lifestyle. Oh how I wish I was living someplace else where this is more acceptable and I could meet like minded people. Maybe even a keyholder or someone who could share experiences with the WIFE.

Anyway, like in the last post, WIFE had given up on the whole idea of Chastity. I was left to lock up on my own. That is not to say that I have not tried to find a keyholder or fellow lockers here in SINGAPORE. Did managed to find a few who were willing to be keyholders, but most were into me paying for the service or were not very experienced. One took the cake when she offered to hold my key and send it to my WIFE as a threat (a.k.a blackmail).

Thankfully I managed to get out fast, I had discussed this with the WIFE and got her blessings to find a keyholder with no agendas. She even suggested asking her friends to do it. That was quite a thrill in the knowledge that she would tell her friends that I am locked up!!!!! Sadly, not to be.....WIFE didn't think that it would be wise to come out especially to her friends.

So without any luck finding a keyholder, I was back to using the app and searching constantly for a better app online. Its times like this that I wish I paid more attention to coding classes so that I could write my own app......

Chastikey worked well. I slowly worked my way into longer lockups. The longest I stayed locked was 45 days partly due to my stupidity . I put so many resets and freezes into a lockup that was supposed to last only 10 days. The frustration of drawing cards and having days/time added was SO REAL!!!!. When i finally found all the right cards, the relief was incredible!!!!! But something strange happened. Instead of elation over finally having been released, I found that I was actually sad that it ended and could not wait to set up another session. I jerked off, but did not experience that huge explosive orgasm that I anticipated. I somehow missed being enclosed by this weird tube of steel. (Yes I upgraded to a steel China knockoff, but surprising it works well and did not give my much issues)

WIFE meanwhile, went on with life (as much a life we can get with lockdowns). Strange thing is, she is aware that I wear a CD because I sometimes brush up against her and she can feel it. She has not said much about it all this while, or commented positively or negatively. It seemed like it has become a part of our lives. (I still wished she will participate).

On our Anniversary this year, I was just out of a lock session and taking a few days break before locking up again when SHE came over and asked "are you wearing your thing?" That came as a SURPRISE. She had NEVER shown any interest and suddenly she was asking about it.

"No, taking a few days out. But will lock up again after our anniversary."

"Leave it off and lets celebrate......." Was this an invitation??????

"I think you have been good since last anniversary and we haven't had sex since last year. You deserve a little present."

Could this be happening?????? Am I dreaming??????

We had the best sex that night in many many years. As WIFE turned over to sleep after multiple orgasms, she asks me for the key and the CD. WHAT?????? This can't be happening!!!!!!

I literally jumped out of bed and ran to my lockbox to retrieve the key and CD and handed it to her before she changed her mind. Must be the wonderful sex we had She held the key in her hands and said: "we went a whole year without sex and also you did not masturbate or orgasem, it was the best tonight. I can't believe how great it was. Maybe we should keep it locked up till NEXT ANNIVERSARY. What do you think?"

OF COURSE I AGREED!!!!!

"If we are going to do this, it will be on MY terms. I still have no wish to hold your key and I still have no desire to be part of your wild fetishes. You can continue to set up your sessions on that app. But I WILL have you service me as and when I desire. I am not interested in what they call a Female Led Relationship. We are both mature adults who just do not see eye to eye on this, but can agree to disagree on its effectiveness. It does have its benefits sometimes. So you can enjoy you lockups, but occasionally, I may ask for pleasure either for myself or for both of us. You will not know when that will be and if it so happens that you are locked, then the chance goes away. The only real time that you get is on our Anniversary. We will make it a date and every year it will be special. BUT if you are stupid enough to set up a lock that does NOT open, then you just have to wait for the next year. Do you agree?"

What do you think my answer was " Yes, I fully understand and respect your decision. Thank you for indulging in my innermost desires. You are the best. I LOVE YOU" was all I could say. With that she returned the CD and key. It was the first time she held it in her hands.

Since that wonderful day, WIFE has been S L O W L Y becoming more involved. She asked to see how the app works and how I set up locks. She hints a few time for me to add more cards/freezes to the deck to make it more frustrating. She still does not want to hold the key and will not do the locking herself. She still does not want to see me wearing it in her presence. She says its something that is personal to me and its my space and she will not intrude. She still wants NO part in my locking up, but at least she finds some pleasure in helping me get to my desires.

Maybe its partly due to Coronavirus and constantly staying at home that has created this, maybe its not. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!. I am enjoying this while it lasts. Who knows what direction this pandemic will take us when the world recovers from this.....

They say that staying home for too long can make people do the craziest things. Well I, for one, am all up for it. Just hope that I am able to make it to next Anniversary....

Will update again. Hopefully with more interesting twists from WIFE before next ann

Stay Safe Everyone!!!