Chastity Forums

My wife and I are in our mid-50s, happily married for decades. We are fortunate to have a solid, trusting relationship, without which we would no doubt not have ended up exploring a female-led, dom/sub relationship. It's been a gradual process... I opened up early on about certain of my kinkier desires, which she gamely attempted to go along with, but it didn't last because I could tell she wasn't really engaged and I didn't want to impose my kinks on her. I realized at some point later that I had been "topping from the bottom" and resolved to be very careful about that.

I recognized my submissive personality and read about D/S issues online. I have always been a pretty subby guy, even before I had any words for it, but I developed it as a talent. Before I brought up the possibility of explicitly becoming her sub, I was being extremely helpful and deferential, anticipating her needs and so on. To the point that some of my "manlier" friends would jokingly mock me for it. Then I introduced the subject, in a very open, unhurried fashion, and gave her some literature to read. She was interested, in a sort of guarded way, and said she would look into it. Time passed. I tried to hide my impatience and brought it up again from time to time. If she thought I was too insistent she would point out that if I was the submissive one I should understand that it was up to her to set the pace, not me. I could only agree!

Progress ended up being made in the bedroom. We had always had a very satisfying vanilla sex life. Now we introduced orgasm control. For years we had had a general routine where, after foreplay, we would have intercourse. Either she would bring herself to orgasm during intercourse so that we ended up cumming together, or I would cum and then go down on her. Now she would sometimes have me go down on her first and then announce that that was it, time to go to sleep. I found this very hot. Even hotter--we would have intercourse, she would bring herself off with me inside her, then she would tell me to withdraw. Goodnight. No orgasm for me. This was driving me wild. She quickly got onto the trick of also insisting that I not masturbate unless she said I could. We gradually went up to three weeks of no orgasm for me. During my dry times I would be called upon to pleasure her orally. But three weeks was almost literally making me crazy, I couldn't concentrate, I was distracted and irritable. She went back to more frequent release for me.

Meanwhile she was also getting comfortable with my doing all the cooking and housework. Shoes polished, lingerie handwashed. Tea in bed in the morning, a glass of wine in the evening. She found all this very pleasant indeed.

And so it has gone, for a couple of years now. Our sex life has become primarily her sex life. I attend to her ten or twelve times a month. She lets me come two or three times a month, and sometimes looks after me herself--if somewhat distractedly. No more intercourse, though--it's been about nine or ten months since the last time. I guess as long as she's getting her pleasure regularly from my tongue and hands, she sees no need for my dick to be involved. I'm sort of wistful about this, but deeply satisfied to be giving her what SHE wants.

But all of this is on the honor system. Of course I'm only human--sometimes I cheat. I don't tell her about it, because she'd get out her riding crop (another aspect of our relationship that is gradually taking shape). But even when I don't masturbate to ejaculation, I often enjoy just stimulating myself--sort of self-teasing. But that feels like cheating, too.

I have mentioned chastity devices to her in the past and she has reacted with distaste. She's a prude at heart! Toys have never been her thing. But yesterday I brought it up again. Rather than just discussing it, I browsed to some pictures of caged men and their keyholders on my smart phone and handed it to her. Her eyebrows went up, and she spent some time going through the site making comments (including "Oh, no, I don't like her boots"). This led to an interesting heart-to-heart and she said I could purchase one of these things and we'd give it a try.

So now I'm doing research and saving my pennies. I'm going to start other threads with particular questions I have, and will return to this "journey" thread to describe the differences we find between the honor system and locked chastity. I think it will be an interesting journey indeed.

My first chastity device arrived--just the morning my wife was leaving in a hurry for an overnight business trip, so I didn't even get a chance to show it to her!

It's a CB-6000s, or rather, it was sold as that on ebay. At about a fifth of the price of the manufacturer's price, it is, I'm assured, a counterfeit. I don't see what's wrong with it, but then I wouldn't since it's my first!

Said goodbye to my wife as she went out the door and then opened the package. Scratched my head a bit, watched an instruction video on the Internet, and managed to get it on. I used the largest ring size and it seemed quite snug! It was comfortable as I went through my morning routine so I wore it to work.

By lunchtime I could understand the general observation I've seen on this forum: at first, one aims too big. The cage seemed OK, but the ring could have been smaller. The device became somewhat uncomfortable, not because it was pinching or too tight but on the contrary, because it was sliding down too much.

I hadn't brought the whole damn kit with me, so I discreetly removed the device in a toilet stall and will try again with a smaller ring tomorrow.

Still, it was good to know that even this cheap knock-off is easy to don and doesn't feel awful. At first it was quite easy to not think about it as I went about my day. As it worked its way down, it had the effect of leaving only the testicles between the ring and the cage, with the flesh of the scrotum pulling out under the ring. Not painful but not nice either.

Experimentation will continue. Tomorrow night I'll get my wife's first opinion of the thing.

It's been a few months... The counterfeit CB-6000 turned out, as I was warned, to be sub-par. It was quickly laid aside. Honor-system chastity has continued, but with the occasional cheating. I confessed the last one to my wife, and she disciplined me rather briskly with a bath brush. In September and October she'll be gone on two separate week-long trips abroad, so I suggested it was worth trying the chastity device method again, this time with an authentic item.

She agreed, so I ordered a Holy Trainer. It arrived today and I'm wearing it. We'll see how comfortable it really is. In half an hour I'll be meeting her at the cinema. After the movie I plan to present her with the keys.

There will be further reports!

Next day... my wife is cheerfully interested and has taken charge of the keys. "You didn't lose those keys, I hope," I said as we prepared for bed. "What keys?" she aked. Ho ho.

She thought the device looked "weird" but I said we'd get used to it. I slept with it on. Night-time erections woke me, but they weren't painful or even strongly uncomfortable. In fact, the device rather teases me: the pressure on the sensitive top or back edge of the glans as the penis swells is rather exciting. But of course there's nowhere for it to go...

This morning the device seems too big. The Holy Trainer only has two sizes, regular and small. I picked small but when my penis is fully at rest there's a good half an inch or more of spare room. The ring also seems too big; that was a bit of a gamble. I went through their method for measuring beforehand and it indicated the "classic" size, but it hangs a little low. I'll have to order a smaller ring. Money is no object.

Hygiene will be a problem unless I can remove it for showering. Urination leaves the inside visibly moist, even when I use a Q-tip to swab it as dry as possible.

I had a similar problem with the CB-x 6000s. Being to long. I always had room in the tube. I ended up going custom because no off the shelf one met my criteria. I went with a jailbird 1 3/4" long and 1 3/8 ID fits perfectly. Now I am working on getting the base ring perfect.