[Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

[Mr Pickle]

Log

Saturday morning.

Last night C and I went out for drinks. There is an old victorian pub/restaurant on the sea front only a hundred meters away where you can sit and have a beer or gin whilst watching the sun go down and sink into the ocean.
Something we haven't been able to do for a while due to the constant care we have been giving our daughter.
But now things have improved so much we have our lives back and appreciate it all the more.

We chatted about many things and C got an inkling of how I maybe compensating for my misuse of words, or even worse. Not taking her seriously.
C didn't push, she seemed quite happy sitting back and watching me squirm.
The only comments I remember her making were "Some people are just sensible about this. That means Not Men". and "Being told by somebody stronger than you, who you can't manipulate takes you right out of your comfort zone doesn't it".

No comment.

C when we got home made use of me because, and I quote, "I'm the only other tongue in the room so I might as well make use of it".

I didn't get a great deal of sleep last night and was up at stupid o'clock this morning.

I have a choice to make, or more likey present, and I just know it will be snatched up eagerly. It will be too good not to be by C. like most really good ideas.. It isn't mine.

I feel whatever happens will do us good. We stalled and I think this might oil the gears.

C had to go out, but text to let me know she is "smooth, hot and wet" with a page full of lock emoji .
Nice one.

They say there isn't much difference between fear and excitement.

I'm certainly one of the above. I think C may likley become the other.

[Mr Pickle]

Log.

Saturday afternoon was quite an event in our journey and my evolution.

C summoned me for an update and a chat about my future. I was quite nervous.

It still feels like I'm re-living every moment. Not forgotten a word of it.

C : "I assume you did what I asked" ?
"Yes" .
"Difficult" ?
"Yes".
"So you've chosen how to make it up to me"?

"Yes. I've written it down" .

"Give".

"Hmmm. Oooh? Wow! I wouldn't have. Oh that is good.
This was So not your idea.
It's too clever" "

" It wasn't"

"Do you feel like you you have a choice" ?

"No. I don't think I have a choice".

"That's good. You don't. You're Committed. Double committed even" .

"I'm nervous already. I need to pee" .

"Go make coffee while I have a think. Take your time".

Made coffee, tidied pots away, stood looking at the floor for a while, then the wall. went back up.

"OK. You get No credit for this, but you will be thankful.
You will not let me... us down and you will do as you're told. Ok" ?

"Yes"

"Good. So. You lose the two weeks you've done since your last orgasm which was ummm?

"Sunday 5th, nine o'clock. In my mouth"

"Ha, yes. Yuck. Not even a proper one to remember".
"Ok. So the time and effort you've made since then. Wiped away, discarded. Like it never happened. I'm stripping your medals away. Did you know the Japanese wear ribbons of shame? Imagine that".

Wow. I already feel lower than whale poo.
"Yes, understood. Do I... "

"Not finished".

"So you have to start again from scratch. Four weeks and you don't come to start it off as usual".

"Right, No. Of course not". I didn't put that bit in?

"And that will mean it will be the longest you've ever gone without.."

"Yes".

"I'd get a prize for the new record"

"I hadn't thought of that? Yes"?

"The points you earned during that time. You'd be losing them too. Get your app open" .

What...? "Yes. Of course".

The app makes a crying and groaning sound everytime you lose a point.

C was tapping away. {Awwww}, {oooooh}

"So that also means you have to take me out for another meal because last week has been erased. I only just thought of that one" .

C looked very pleased with herself.

Um. Yay Well done? You don't have to think too hard about it".

{Doh!} {Boohoo}.

"And you don't have to think at all".

{Ohhhhhoo}

I wish she'd stop hitting that button.

"Yes. It's a lovely idea, I'll reserve a table for this evening? ".

"Perfect! This is just getting better and better" .

"Yes. Fab. Yay "?

"Being stripped of everything. All the hard time you've put in. That's got to hurt" .

"You wouldn't belive how much" .

"Best of all. I didn't choose it, so I can enforce it and not feel guilty. I said I would make sure you completed that task didnt I?"

"Yes".

"Any other suggestions I can look at"?

C shouldn't be getting this excited.
"God No. None" .

"Hmmph, shame".

"OK then. Ill accept your offer when you convince me it's what You want".

"What" ?

"I'll think of other stuff to take away while I'm waiting" .

Ok. C is still looking up at me.
She's a foot shorter, how did she suddenly become so big?
Drop to my knees.

"Please accept. This is my choice. I'm sure I really deserve and need this. It will be good for us. Please accept my offer. I'm sorry I called you stupid".

"Oh. You didn't" .

"Eh" ?

"You said my idea was stupid. Asking someone stronger than you, and it wasn't was it" ?

"No. Apparently not" .

"Good. I accept. I've written it down already in case you try to trick me, except the meal" .

"We restart on Monday" .

"Monday? But I'm locked now"?

"You came on a Sunday. But I started the edge game on a Monday" .

"Um....."

"So it's Monday. Then you give me my four weeks".

"Yes. But my cum day is on a Sunday".

"And it will be poor baby. After you've finished this task".

"But doesn't that add another.."

"Week. Yes. Why did you think I always started a fest on a Monday or Tuesday" ?

"I thought it was just bad luck or bad timing" ?

"Hah! I've been doing it since last year. Adding a week every time and you didn't figure that out. And you called me the Stu word" ?

My jaw dropped. Feel like I've been mugged. Dumbfounded.

"So.. thats the.. twenty third of June. There. I've Marked it on the calendar" .

"Yes, right 23rd june. Seven weeks. OK. I feel a bit dizzy".

"And what do you say now" ?

"I want Mummy" ?

"Nope" !

"Oh..Thank you"

"You're most very welcome. And" ?

C tapped the paper I had handed to her with the original idea.

"Thank you also" .

"Go book that meal" .

We went out for a meal. C looked confident, pleased, happy, glowing. Spectacular.

I felt slightly dizzy, a little horny, quite submissive and very lucky

Another two weeks of edging, then locked for a few weeks.
For you... I can do this. I won't let you down.

[Mr Pickle]

Log.

So I'm on a seven week no come voyage.
I honestly didn't think this would ever happen really. C has stuck to seven days on average until last year when I started the challenges in Hope of overcoming this 'guilt' she feels.
Even then C was reluctant to go beyond two weeks. She felt cruel doing it even with my reassurance that no harm would be done.
We have only done more than two weeks on a few accasions.
Five weeks only once. That once felt like a lifetime now I look back on it.
Now C's reluctance has vanished and as though the chastity fairy has cast her spell. C has thrown the guilt into the wind.

This erasing of weeks has left me feeling not just merely locked. But really most sincerely locked and the term "Be careful what you ask for", has entered my head a few times this weekend.


Credit where credit is due. Being responsible for a mans orgasm being denied for many weeks, knowingly making him desperate is a big responsibility, so has to have its rewards, be it favours, good behavior, being treated like a queen or simply being able to enjoy the power 'Do as you're told', and the thrill from initiating it and I hope C is benefiting from some if not all of the above.

I'm not sure if this makes sense. It does to me. I do however wonder what other things/feelings a Keyholder finds rewarding from doing this?

Sunday morning C has decided to edge me again, and was going to lock it up for the next few weeks but things have changed.
As well as this reset, C started her time of the months so a double whammy.
This is also my fault of course.
So the edge was the worst type.
'Out, stroke stop stroke stop, back in' .
Ok, the second worst, that edged raw a few months back was sadistic and brutal.

C has decided instead that I will be randomly edged for two weeks, maybe one and then locked for two, maybe three plus the other week on top while I wait for a Sunday.

C is loving it otherwise and has had another fabulous weekend.

I'm good with this step. I have no choice. It's only been two weeks so far. A walk in the nocturnal hard on, horny park.
I'll be interested to see what happens as I go into uncharted territory?

That sounded very genuine didn't it?

Me thinking "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? ", "Ohhhh my god! If I'm this wound up now, I will explode in a few week!
I imagine 'News flash. Man explodes due to hormone overload'.
And
'Buster Gonad spotted running berzerk in Wales'.
I haven't even reached week three yet. That isn't going to be easy, then week four, and five, and six and then another?
I feel sick. How did this happen..
Don't panic .. YES. PANIC..
Breath.. Calm.. Peace...

So.
Happy days ahead for C. Bridgerton is back, I'm in full adore and dote mode which is exactly how it should be and C is waiting for me to break "Which is not at all my fault so it should be fun".

No matter what, I will behave. I have to.

This has nothing to do with being told "If you don't, in five weeks, when you get to come. I'll make you come while you're still caged. Then start again".

[Mr Pickle]

Log.

C has re-started the two week edge in exactly the same way, however the last time C started with a cow and an edged milking.
This time she didn't do that, just an edge, no easing allowed.
So just like two weeks ago I find myself on all fours in the cow position but without being emptied.

"Don't come, not even a drop".

It was of course incredibly good. I didn't even think about coming, because coming isn't the norm any more, but I would like to have been able to ease a bit out to relieve the preasure before hitting next week.

I was back in the cage withing ten minutes of release. Then off to work feeling fine and optimistic. I have a lot to be grateful for.

So. Seem as it's so hot and a break is needed I'll throw something out there regarding this edging and milking thing and from my perspective.

Edging vs Milking.

They are both intensely erotic, mind melting. Almost too good to bare.

One is risky, the other riskier still.
There's such a fine ballance between milking and edging that going over the edge can happen by accident to begin with, usually ending in a ruined orgasm (all the goo, none of the fun).

Imagine walking along the top of a cliff. There is a little dirt path to follow with a rather fragile looking wire fense. You are close to the edge here on the path. It feels slightly scary, but it is safe enough.
Stopping this close to the edge is exciting, rewarding and it feels good. Makes your head spin a little.
This is edging. Fairly safe.

With practice you can pass over the fence and see the drop. Not as safe, but your not plummeting downwards.

A little bit closer. A tiny bit closer still...

Then you get so close that you start to slip and scramble for a hand hold. Panic a little.
You tense and pull yourself back to saftey.
Obviously something will fall. A little debris perhaps or a slow trickle of sand.
Each time you try, it is terrifying, exciting and you feel a slight loss.
This is milking. Just little bits of debris and trickles of sand making there way to the bottom of the cliff until no sand or debris remains.

You feel emptied.

You never get to fly.

[Mr Pickle]

Log

Woke early with a sustained morning wood. Tried to ignore it but it was extremely persistent. More frustrating for some reason.
So instead I decided to stay awake and ride it out.
It isn't painful or uncomfortable, just hard and throbbing.
My id brain doesn't know I'm locked, Just that it is hard.
It does feel like a super rock hard erection. The main difference being I cant look down and see the tent. I miss the tent. I could make a decent tent once.

So with nothing to play with I lay awake being mindful of the 'added' frustration.
It felt different this time. More... Meant to be, more real, as though it had come from somewhere deeper with additional meaning.
This wasn't just another caged morning wood. I was reminded of it's origins and then felt a very uncomfortable, unstoppable surge, followed by a flood of heightened frustration.
The half awake me threw words around. 'omnipotent, inexorable or mere serendipity? '. Finally a whispered voice "Resistance is futile".
It was, I knew it.

At that point I got up, made a cup of tea, and sat out in the courtyard listening to the morning chorus.
The birds seemed very amused and playfull this morning.

[Mr Pickle]

Log
Friday.

And another edge as we head towards the bank holiday.
This time a yoga.
C seems to be deciding which edge by how ridiculous I look.
Not only can't I come, but I can't even be edged in a dignified way.
Never thought I would write edged and dignified on the same page?
So the slow stroking taking place a few inches in front of my face was accompanied by lots of reminders that I won't be able to come for over a month yet.
I feel C's sexual leadership is becoming even more embedded in me. I have no expectations to come.

Any suggestion that starts with "I want you to". Is followed automatically of course.
Just knowing she has a key in her possession is enough make me very pliable and open to suggestion. I'm just a play thing really. But I like being played with.

[Mr Pickle]

Log.
Friday.
Heading towards week four now and all is well. Lots of activity in the cage to remind me I am loved and looked after. It also reminds me of what I am missing. Thoughts materialise of what I would do right now. If it wasn't for this damned cage... ".
Ping! And a little voice in my ear says" Now that just makes it worse doesn't it".

Last night was strange. I was lumpy often, and at one point dreampt that my cage had magically disappeared and I was taking advantage of it before being attacked savagely by a man with a sword that looked like Lionel Blair? Before jumping awake. How odd.

C's side of it.

Apparently I was whimpering in my sleep this morning and my sex motors were running remotely.

C let me know of her displeasure the way she does.
She had woken to my having sex with a ghost, and had gotten a little frustrated at being unable to make use of me while things were taking their course. She then decided to poke me in the ribs, turn over and go back to sleep.
I remembered the dream of course having been woken in the middle of it, but had no Idea why it ended by my being assaulted?

I reached down and I was damp, I had leaked a fair amount of pre cum, love juice, call it what you will.
So I lay awake and extremely horny for approximately eighteen years before getting a little more sleep.
C woke me because the alarm wasn't doing it's job, mentioned that I had obviously been frustrated in the night, which is a good thing. Told me what she had done, then patted my cage and said "It's staying locked, and won't be doing anything meaningful for a long time yet. A very long time".

I answered "Yes. But a week less now than it was. Fingers crossed no more spell casting".

"Oh I don't know? I think magic is exciting".

So I, Zombie Pickle, lurched out of bed and headed off to make breakfast before anymore was said.

Today I'm a little tired. Would finish early but for principles.
I have had a couple of physical reminders of my predicament and another not so physical reminder that I have a long time to go yet.

Truth is. I cant help but appreciate them. A warm glow kind of thing.

[Mr Pickle]

Log.

With the disolution of parliament my next door neighbour will lose his seat. What I find odd about this is. There is a party?

So I'm on my way to a do. C won't come because of her parents misconception of the Thatcher era, which I think allowed me and many others to prosper, all happened before my time. but this something that happened to our parents has had C's mind set for her?
Enough about this. It is after all a load of politics.

The point I'm actually getting to is:

Im on my way to a party? And decided to get a bus. Either that or not touch the alcohol.

As it happened I didn't get to the party because when the bus was passing the theatre and I noticed Tom Allen was performing live Tonight only. Funny man. Had to do it.
I chanced it, got tickets and watched the show, dressed like a penguin.

It isn't about this either.
I've been drinking. I caught up afterwards and went to find the where the plonk was.

The point. Well there isn't one really.

Ah yes. The Bus. Oh my the vibrations on the bus. That's why I started this.
Vibrations on buses are good.

Bed now. I can see elephants and fairy's and bubbles.

Nos da.

[KnownAsHerbert]

How odd. Especially the penguin bit.

[Mr Pickle]

How odd. Especially the penguin bit.

Not an actual penguin @KnownAsHerbert . I was in black and white. Lodge type suit. Formal wear.