Hi everybody,
So the journey has begun.
My wife and I are a couple in the DC Metro area in our 40's who have been together for over 15 years. We would appear to be an outwardly 'normal' professional couple, though we had played with bondage and her teasing and denying me earlier on in our relationship regularly.
(I've copied the "Hello World!" Text below to explain how we got to here.)
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Briefly, I got a silicone cage and started getting used to it for three weeks during the day to get a feel for it before handing her the keys on our anniversary earlier this month.
Knowing that she has all the keys and that, with the base ring I have now, I can't slip it off....it makes a HUGE impact.
The journey starting with the first longer lock-up:
May 18
2 days in. I went down on M while She read until she fell asleep. I laid there extended as far as the cage will allow.
I loved it!
May 19
Also, with enough rubbing, the silicone device can allow a ruined drip-out orgasm that provides no relief. Found that out when I was testing the additions I made to keep the tube pointing down. Oops.
May 21
I think she is enjoying me Being her 'kink-boy.'
May 22
She was REALLY enjoying seeing the prisoner of "Ms. Kitty" dance as far as it could this morning just by watching her wiggle her butt.
May 23
Ordered a Holy Trainer type device this morning, along with easier bondage straps that M wanted.
I've rubbed oralgel for teething babies all over my head so it's numb in case I get desperate and try to rub a ruined O through the silicone.
May 24
Being locked for a week and M having the only keys is using my body chemistry against me to be more oriented Towards her and I know it. The power of the erection to redirect the rest of the human attached to it is very powerful, I'm finding.
May 26
Currently, After being locked in my silicone cage since last Wednesday, I had to ask M for the key last night because my shaft and testes under the base ring were chaffing and abraded. I had been applying coconut oil and A&D ointment regularly, but it wasn't enough.
M said she looks forward to locking me up again. "You are more cuddly". She is enjoying this game.
(That's what loving male chastity is - a long foreplay game.)
She also was enjoying me using our rechargeable Lelo vibe on her while locked, since there was no pressure on her to have to pleasure me as well. (The charge ran down on the vibe just as it was getting good for her, though. Oops! At least we both could laugh about it.)
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So, that is where we are now.
1) Does silicone have known issues that make it unsuitable for long-term use?
2) I have a Holy Trainer copy being delivered. What should I expect?
3) I was getting dripping pre-cum after the fifth day often, leading me to put some tissues in my underwear to catch the discharge. Is this the "chastity tears?" If so, how to others deal with it?
4) why isn't this lifestyle more common? It seems so logical.
I have to say, Finding good reading material was tough. The best 'vanilla' (as opposed to floggings and "fucking other men in front of your handcuffed and caged hubby") description I could find about "why male chastity?" says that there should be a three-month male orgasm-free period to start as a break-in period. Gulp!
Cuckolding, feminizing me, whips or other implements causing actual lasting physical pain, and so forth just don't appeal to either of us.
(Me Bound and caged while she uses her Magic Wand on herself, teasing "don't you wish you were inside me, instead of struggling a foot away?", otoh... oh hell yes!)
-FD
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(The rest of the background story)
Unfortunately, she required anti-depressants starting around 2007 due to stress at work that, while improving her mood, gradually led to sexual responses being greatly reduced.
I had an interest in chastity and orgasm denial after discovering Altairboy's site looking in 2006 for a way to curb overwhelming horniness due to some mental medication I was on for a while that was leading to issues of frequent hard erections at work that were difficult to hide.
I tried to introduce my wife to the idea, but I botched it by explaining based on what were probably not real couples blogs, a lot of sites went right into sissyfication, cross-dressing, and cuckolding (areas that don't appeal to either of us at all), and there weren't any decent inexpensive beginner devices yet anyway. So, this was quietly shelved and not spoken of again.
As time has gone on, sexual contact has gotten less and less frequent. We have been going for several months between sessions with each other.
Everything else between us is still good, though. We still talk, are still on the same mental wavelength on most things, and still actually like and care for each other. We have gotten counseling for the sexual disconnect issues, and our therapist said that we interacted as a couple much better than most couples she's seen.
It takes a long time now for my wife to get turned on enough for PIV. (Oral hasn't really been a big priority for her, though I love the taste and sensations of cunnilingus.) By the time she's ready, I'm so turned on that I usually last at most a couple minutes, finishing way before she is at the point of bliss. Sadly, I get hit by the hormonal post-orgasm snooze wave and fall asleep soon afterwards, no matter how hard I fight it to finish her.
Fast forward to 2017. I've been waiting since January for security investigations and other processes to be completed before starting my next job, living off severance from my previous job.
After a while, I was back to masturbating 2-3 times a day and not getting tasks done at home, as well as not giving my wife the attention she deserves.
So, after discovering that there were now some sites and communities (like this one) for and by actual outwardly 'vanilla' long-time couples using male chastity devices as a marriage enhancement by cutting out the issues of frequent masturbation and taking one's spouse for granted (what I call "The dreaded 'Yes, Dear' Zone"), I ordered a silicone cage in April. I spent 3 weeks making adjustments and getting used to it.
I handed her the keys on our anniversary early this month, explaining why I was doing this. Fortunately, I made it clear I didn't want any outwardly changes in our relationship - no calling her "Mistress" or "Missy", no wearing women's clothing and hanging around in bars, no watching her with another man* - just her holding the keys and letting me out when she felt like it for her pleasure, while seeing what changes developed.
She (correctly, I think) wondered if this was my 'mid-life crisis', and thought it was a much less destructive one than most we've seen. Instead of seeking out a new sex partner after 40, as we've seen happen many times, I was recommitting in a very tangible way to my current partner.
My wife also thought the device itself is very amusing looking, especially when I attempt to erect and it bounces. She nicknamed it "Ms. Kitty." .
I confessed when I handed her the keys that my frequent jerking off was why I was getting items on the "Honey, Do" list checked off. She was annoyed that I was doing so, so she is glad that I can't anymore.
After a couple days of me being locked up with her holding the keys, she noticed I am being much more affectionate and cuddly.
I think she prefers me this way. She is highly amused that just wiggling her butt or rubbing my arm causes me to heavy breathe now.
I went 4 days locked up all day and night for the first stretch. Unfortunately, some of my extra security measures to ensure I don't slip out of the cage when soft caused some abrasions, so I had to be uncaged while those healed.
I've been back in since last Wednesday. With proper moisturizing, it seems okay now.
I know I won't be unlocked (outside of more painful abrasions) until this weekend at the earliest. I'm fine with that
She brought up getting some high-quality satin Ribbon this weekend to wear the key around her neck. I hope that's a positive sign.
-Freaky Dude
[Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
- Freaky_Dude
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- Freaky_Dude
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- Location: Maryland
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Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
Okay, the silicone cage is easy to 'defeat' and my modifications to improve security have again caused abrasions.
I pulled it apart last night because of the wounds and have been putting A+D ointment on. It is going to stay off for healing until my new cage comes next Wednesday.
FD
I pulled it apart last night because of the wounds and have been putting A+D ointment on. It is going to stay off for healing until my new cage comes next Wednesday.
FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
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Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
Correction: new cage coming today!
(And hopefully, if the fit works out, M won't let allow me to be coming by my own hand for a very, very long time. )
-FD
(And hopefully, if the fit works out, M won't let allow me to be coming by my own hand for a very, very long time. )
-FD
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It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
- Location: Maryland
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Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
Damn - Mr. Pink (Holy Trainer copy) was putting pressure on my balls that was making me sweat and nauseous.
Because of all the cysts, growths, and other unusual items in my testicles, I don't think I can wear that cage. Or the other cage like it I haven't even tried on.
I LOVED the cage part - the coverage and fit were wonderful.
But it seems the design doesn't work for me.
So, time to investigate the CBx series.
-FD
Because of all the cysts, growths, and other unusual items in my testicles, I don't think I can wear that cage. Or the other cage like it I haven't even tried on.
I LOVED the cage part - the coverage and fit were wonderful.
But it seems the design doesn't work for me.
So, time to investigate the CBx series.
-FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Tom Allen
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- Last orgasm: April 1st, 2018
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Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
As to the break-in time, the best advice I've seen what from Sarah Jameson, who wrote that women should ask their partner how long they thought they could go, and then add half. Also, do this *after* you've had a chance to wear the device and get acclimated, make adjustments, sand off rough edges, etc.
Tom Allen
The Edge of Vanilla
Denial Permanente
The Edge of Vanilla
Denial Permanente
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
- Location: Maryland
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Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
June 11
My new larger CB6000s base ring came this afternoon. So far, both balls and shaft fit comfortably, less bunching up Of testicle flesh AND my shaft fits firmer in the cage.
I am Curious to see how it feels sleeping in it with everything assembled and fitted per the specs.
Since it was feeling comfortable enough before even with one testicle on the wrong side of the ring, I am hoping I'll experience the "you'll forget it's even there except when aroused" I've heard about.
June 12
Well, this cage is VERY comfortable usually, and M and I did more reading on male chastity play in loving relationships last night.
She mentioned that while we can expect weekly removal for cleanings, I may not be let out for orgasm for 2 or 3 weeks unless I'm a 'good boy' and please her (in several ways).
This both terrified me and yet made me fill my cage up to maximum capacity, which amused her greatly.
Uh-oh....
5 days in...
she was rubbing my belly button this morning, knowing it is arousing anyway.
But locked up, the effects were multiplied.
She was enjoying making me moan so easily and not expecting anything more, I think
-FD
My new larger CB6000s base ring came this afternoon. So far, both balls and shaft fit comfortably, less bunching up Of testicle flesh AND my shaft fits firmer in the cage.
I am Curious to see how it feels sleeping in it with everything assembled and fitted per the specs.
Since it was feeling comfortable enough before even with one testicle on the wrong side of the ring, I am hoping I'll experience the "you'll forget it's even there except when aroused" I've heard about.
June 12
Well, this cage is VERY comfortable usually, and M and I did more reading on male chastity play in loving relationships last night.
She mentioned that while we can expect weekly removal for cleanings, I may not be let out for orgasm for 2 or 3 weeks unless I'm a 'good boy' and please her (in several ways).
This both terrified me and yet made me fill my cage up to maximum capacity, which amused her greatly.
Uh-oh....
5 days in...
she was rubbing my belly button this morning, knowing it is arousing anyway.
But locked up, the effects were multiplied.
She was enjoying making me moan so easily and not expecting anything more, I think
-FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
- Location: Maryland
- Gender:
Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
So, June 18 and now locked up for 10 days. The CB6000s is amazingly comfortable during the day (when not aroused, of course. )
My wife/KH/Goddess is continuing to enjoy the cuddling, making out, and nightly foot massaging/kissing.
As mentioned before, she's had significant issues with orgasm for several years due to anti-depressants. So, to show how willing I am to surrender my precious orgasms to her, I have agreed that I will not have even a chance at cuming until I have rediscovered her orgasm.
We will be working with toys, my fingers, and my mouth to get there. (She rarely got there when she was very orgasmic a decade ago from vaginal intercourse anyway.)
In addition, she has been enjoying my reactions from rubbing different parts of my body not currently enclosed in plastic. We used to switch with bondage years ago, and we now have under-the-mattress straps and Velcro bondage cuffs that are very quick and easy to deploy. She tested these on me for a nap yesterday. She mentioned some nights I shouldn't drink a lot of water before bed because I will be strapped down until the next morning. (I'm not sure what else she will do to me in that time.)
Since I've got lots of ideas and fantasies, but want to avoid "toping from the bottom" (which ruined a previous attempt at a sustained less-vanilla lifestyle several years ago), my Wife has also suggested we keep a jar for such suggestions that I stuff with my most diabolical ideas...to be used on me.
If I understand correctly, once a week on weekends, one of us will pull a folded up piece of paper from this to-be-named jar and we will both act on it.
They can't be more than a few sentences. Some will be illustrations with words, some descriptions. Since denial for 10 days has had no problem, I suspect weekends will be my only chance at release.
So, that's where we are now.
If any of you have suggestions for scenes we could try or treats or punishments she could ration out, please share.
(Keep in mind we aren't into cuckolding, spanking, or rough CBT.)
Thanks.
-FD
My wife/KH/Goddess is continuing to enjoy the cuddling, making out, and nightly foot massaging/kissing.
As mentioned before, she's had significant issues with orgasm for several years due to anti-depressants. So, to show how willing I am to surrender my precious orgasms to her, I have agreed that I will not have even a chance at cuming until I have rediscovered her orgasm.
We will be working with toys, my fingers, and my mouth to get there. (She rarely got there when she was very orgasmic a decade ago from vaginal intercourse anyway.)
In addition, she has been enjoying my reactions from rubbing different parts of my body not currently enclosed in plastic. We used to switch with bondage years ago, and we now have under-the-mattress straps and Velcro bondage cuffs that are very quick and easy to deploy. She tested these on me for a nap yesterday. She mentioned some nights I shouldn't drink a lot of water before bed because I will be strapped down until the next morning. (I'm not sure what else she will do to me in that time.)
Since I've got lots of ideas and fantasies, but want to avoid "toping from the bottom" (which ruined a previous attempt at a sustained less-vanilla lifestyle several years ago), my Wife has also suggested we keep a jar for such suggestions that I stuff with my most diabolical ideas...to be used on me.
If I understand correctly, once a week on weekends, one of us will pull a folded up piece of paper from this to-be-named jar and we will both act on it.
They can't be more than a few sentences. Some will be illustrations with words, some descriptions. Since denial for 10 days has had no problem, I suspect weekends will be my only chance at release.
So, that's where we are now.
If any of you have suggestions for scenes we could try or treats or punishments she could ration out, please share.
(Keep in mind we aren't into cuckolding, spanking, or rough CBT.)
Thanks.
-FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
- Location: Maryland
- Gender:
Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
Captains log supplemental:
My wife surprised me this evening with a tied tease (while caged) that went on for FOUR HOURS tonight (with no orgasm, of course.)
I feel stoned and like she is truly a magic Goddess.
Wow.
-FD
My wife surprised me this evening with a tied tease (while caged) that went on for FOUR HOURS tonight (with no orgasm, of course.)
I feel stoned and like she is truly a magic Goddess.
Wow.
-FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
- Location: Maryland
- Gender:
Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
7/2
Hi everyone-
So, Baton Rouge TSA had never seen a chastity device on a passenger before this weekend.
(Shows how thorough they were!)
I got through the metal detector with no problem. But, I was pulled aside after pat-down, when the TSA screener felt my CB6000s.
I told him to his ear "it's a chastity device." He went and got his boss, who looked at me with a priceless look of "WHAT???"
I went to a private room, lowered my pants, showed it, and was asked by a laughing TSA screener how long I'd been married and then "I bet you REALLY can't wait to see your wife!".
That was it. 3-4 extra minutes tops.
I should have been embarrassed, but I was amused. All I could think of was the metal detector scene from "This is Spinal Tap."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAargSCXQaQ&sns
So, has anybody else had similar security misadventures while caged?
I wore my cage on a business trip after being relocked after a ruined orgasm June 21.
After getting home, I got teasing without orgasm. After some discussion, I will remain orgasm free for the rest of the month. I will get teased, but no orgasms for the month of July. It made me get as hard as I can get in my cage when she said "okay", which M found very amusing as I continued with her nightly coconut oil massage.
7/9
I was just relocked after weekly cleaning and tease. She tied my hands behind me, scooted up so my cock was just 6 inches away from her vagina, and masturbated. She wasn't able to orgasm, but it was beautiful. I was desperately bobbing my cock against the bed for sensation. Then she finished after 1/2 hour, and made me put the cage back on in front of her.
That was this weeks tease.
My balls are very solid right now.
I love her.
-FD
Hi everyone-
So, Baton Rouge TSA had never seen a chastity device on a passenger before this weekend.
(Shows how thorough they were!)
I got through the metal detector with no problem. But, I was pulled aside after pat-down, when the TSA screener felt my CB6000s.
I told him to his ear "it's a chastity device." He went and got his boss, who looked at me with a priceless look of "WHAT???"
I went to a private room, lowered my pants, showed it, and was asked by a laughing TSA screener how long I'd been married and then "I bet you REALLY can't wait to see your wife!".
That was it. 3-4 extra minutes tops.
I should have been embarrassed, but I was amused. All I could think of was the metal detector scene from "This is Spinal Tap."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAargSCXQaQ&sns
So, has anybody else had similar security misadventures while caged?
I wore my cage on a business trip after being relocked after a ruined orgasm June 21.
After getting home, I got teasing without orgasm. After some discussion, I will remain orgasm free for the rest of the month. I will get teased, but no orgasms for the month of July. It made me get as hard as I can get in my cage when she said "okay", which M found very amusing as I continued with her nightly coconut oil massage.
7/9
I was just relocked after weekly cleaning and tease. She tied my hands behind me, scooted up so my cock was just 6 inches away from her vagina, and masturbated. She wasn't able to orgasm, but it was beautiful. I was desperately bobbing my cock against the bed for sensation. Then she finished after 1/2 hour, and made me put the cage back on in front of her.
That was this weeks tease.
My balls are very solid right now.
I love her.
-FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.
- Freaky_Dude
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 11:56 pm
- Location: Maryland
- Gender:
Re: [Freaky_Dude] And so it begins...
7/27
I've Been locked up over 5 weeks without a release as of yesterday. My wife gives me a weekly tie-and-tease Sunday nights, which ensures my dopamine and oxytocin levels remain high, and I remain addicted to cuddling her. I give her ass-kissing (cheeks, not anus) every morning soon after waking, and ass-kissing followed by foot-leg rub with coconut oil every evening.
After over 4 weeks in my CB6000s cage, I switched to a smaller metal cage suggested by another caged chaste nerd husband I've been talking to on Twitter. I've been in it for 3 days now and it's working great. My goddess/keyholder/wife of 14 years really enjoys seeing me spill out when aroused, especially from kissing her feet and ass.
Life is good so far.
-FD
I've Been locked up over 5 weeks without a release as of yesterday. My wife gives me a weekly tie-and-tease Sunday nights, which ensures my dopamine and oxytocin levels remain high, and I remain addicted to cuddling her. I give her ass-kissing (cheeks, not anus) every morning soon after waking, and ass-kissing followed by foot-leg rub with coconut oil every evening.
After over 4 weeks in my CB6000s cage, I switched to a smaller metal cage suggested by another caged chaste nerd husband I've been talking to on Twitter. I've been in it for 3 days now and it's working great. My goddess/keyholder/wife of 14 years really enjoys seeing me spill out when aroused, especially from kissing her feet and ass.
Life is good so far.
-FD
It's not a kink, it's a loving lifestyle.